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to threaten ds's school with getting the police involved

(114 Posts)
elmofan Sat 03-Oct-09 13:26:16

hi , my ds has been getting bullied on/off for the last 3 years , we have lost count as to how many meeting we have had with his principle who keeps telling us that the boy involved is on his final warning ( this boy has already been expelled from 2 other schools) last year he beat up my ds (10) kicked ds in the head & face etc which triggered off migraines which eventually he had to have an MRI scan but everything was ok thankfully , ds came home from school upset yesterday & told me that this boy has told him that he is going " to get him again" after school on monday sad this boy is also telling another 2 boys in ds's class that he is going to "RAPE" them shock
dh & i are planning to go up to the head again on monday morning to let her know what is going on , i am sick of feeling like we are the ones who get fobbed off so would i be out of order to let her know that if my ds gets hurt again i will get the police involved ?

franklymydear Sat 03-Oct-09 13:27:48

I'd do it. Not threaten, I'd actually contact the police and ask their advice and then I'd talk to the head and tell him that you had done so because they are failing in their duty of care to your child

purepurple Sat 03-Oct-09 13:29:58

phone the police today and ask for their advice
if an adult threatened another adult in this way, then you would phone the police wouldn't you?
children deserve more protection, not less

AllyOodle Sat 03-Oct-09 13:30:43

Franklymydear couldn't have put it better. This are serious threats and actual violence, it's a police matter.

AllyOodle Sat 03-Oct-09 13:31:12

sorry - grammar - These are serious threats.

Firawla Sat 03-Oct-09 13:31:24

yanbu, i would go to the police the school obviously is not doing enough

TheCrackFox Sat 03-Oct-09 13:34:06

I would bypass the school and take this to the police. You can tell the Head you have reported the whole matter to the police on Monday. He/she sounds useless BTW.

positiveattitudeonly Sat 03-Oct-09 13:35:19

I agree with purepurple. I would do something before Monday or you will worry about DS all day and he will feel terrible at school worrying about what will happen.
The school have failed. Don't let them fail again and your DS suffer.

Good luck.

MyCatsAScarierBastardThanYours Sat 03-Oct-09 13:35:44

yes, I would definitely get in touch with the police and then go and see the head - what Franklymydear said.

The school really cannot let this go on. It does sound rather as if this child is troubled too and it sounds to me like the school is failing in its duty to him too (obviously your son is what is important here though).

Lemontea Sat 03-Oct-09 13:37:00

I agree with everyone else. I'd go to the police too.
It makes me feel sick that this type of thing goes on. Feel so sorry for your DS. At least he feels he can come to you to tell you what is happening

elmofan Sat 03-Oct-09 13:43:46

thanks - dh wants to wait & see what the principle has to say first , but last year we were up with her on a weekly basis almost telling her of the threats but still ds got beaten , once she called up the bullies parents to talk to them but the next day the boys mother had a go at me for getting her boy in trouble & told me about this being his 3rd school etc . i dont think they can control him , he stands up to his teachers & has no fear of anything or anyone iykwim .

Maggie34Behave Sat 03-Oct-09 13:43:51

I agree. My friend's daughter was being bullied and the school did NOTHING. Worse than nothing, they implied she was bringing it on herself (by being pretty and clever hmm ) at the mother's request the Gs went into the school and requested interviews with some of the girls, and I don't know what they said or did but the problem went away. There's nothing like a fat 50 year old kerryman in blue to put the frightenners up some little BRAT. So go for it. You've been driven to it. The school didn't listen, and you need your son to know that you were prepared to move mountains to sort it out for him.

TeamEdwardTango Sat 03-Oct-09 13:50:25

Call the police.
These are serious threats, with previous actions.
Your son needs you to help him, where the school aren't.
As said above, the bully obvious has "issues" and maybe police getting involved will help him as well as protect your son.
I'm very angry and sad on your sons behalf.

Sidge Sat 03-Oct-09 13:50:34

You should go to the police. IME police take this kind of thing seriously and can have a word with the bully and his family - it may be that that's what he needs, someone to give him (the bully) a reality check that it is being taken seriously.

elmofan Sat 03-Oct-09 13:59:21

lol @" fat kerryman in blue " your from my neck of the woods then maggie ,
should i mention the threats of "rape" to the other boys or just stick to the facts of ds's situation ? btw thanks to this brat my ds now knows what rape means sad
ds told me that his teacher (a man) found out about the boy threatening to beat ds up & asked ds was it true when ds said yes the teacher asked the boy if he was threatening ds & the boy said " yeah so" angry teacher just shouted at him not to fight ,

junglist1 Sat 03-Oct-09 14:00:20

Totally agree with the others. Especially because the beatings have triggered long lasting problems. You could get a solicitor because of that

Bucharest Sat 03-Oct-09 14:02:06

Call the police. The HT sounds useless.
I hope you get a positive outcome and things improve for your son.xx

claricebeansmum Sat 03-Oct-09 14:07:39

I would try to have as accurate as possible documentation of all that has happened directly to your DS.

I would mention the threats that have been recently used.

Maggie34Behave Sat 03-Oct-09 14:11:39

Do. MEntion it all Elmofan. On Monday Morning, ask the school to provide a copy of their policy on dealing with bullying. All schools officially have one, and the guards will want to see that I think.

elmofan Sat 03-Oct-09 14:18:00

thanks - i have a copy already of schools policy on bullying since last year not that it did much good but the principle told us last year that her hands are tied & that she is doing everything she can hmm
after we kicked up a stink last year the principle has had cameras put up outside the school because ds was beaten up right outside her office & the staff room yet no one witnessed it other than lots of children who were more than happy to tell what they saw bless them , they are all terrified of this boy .

Maggie34Behave Sat 03-Oct-09 14:21:43

It sounds a nightmare. It's good to think that the other little guys all named the bully instantly.

The guards will have plenty to go on when you talk to them. They will take you seriously. I have a feeling they will untie the principle's hands.

GL, very stressful.

elmofan Sat 03-Oct-09 14:25:10

the boy does seem to have issues but i think its more of a case of him not having any consequences for his actions , he is a pfb as is mine , but his parents seem blame everyone Else's children of being wimps rather than facng up to the possibility of their ds having issue's iykwim
yes magie hopefully you are right , when your friend got the police involved - was there any more trouble for her dd ? im worried that it might makes matters worse for ds ,

Maggie34Behave Sat 03-Oct-09 14:31:55

No, the police getting involved finally made the girls give it up. I saw them when my friend and I were spying in her car. They were a gang of fat lumps in kilts if you'll excuse my harsh turn of phrase there. The girl they were bullying was sporty, attractive, doing very well at her lessons. So they thought they'd give her a nervous breakdown in the run up to the leaving. Stupid Cows.

pigletmania Sat 03-Oct-09 14:33:22

Yes totally i would get the police involved, this is assult and it would not be tolerated in adults so why kids!angry This shows that you are taking it seriously and mean business.

evaangel2 Sat 03-Oct-09 14:36:58

Firstly I would report it the police and have things logged, then I would be down to my LEA to put in a complaint about the head, obviously this would go to the governors, IME dont accept resolutions over the phone, ensure that things are put in writing, log all incidences on paper expressing your concerns then present it to the LEA..the head sounds useless

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