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To expect DH to not watch TV/You Tube during his 'dad time'?

(53 Posts)
stringerbell Sat 03-Oct-09 10:41:15

Message withdrawn

ilove Sat 03-Oct-09 10:43:53

Does he tell you what you must do with the children when he is out and you have them?

Sorry, his time, his choice.

RealityBites Sat 03-Oct-09 10:44:54

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piscesmoon Sat 03-Oct-09 10:45:46

I have always taken the view that if DH is looking after them it is up to him and I don't interfere. You can only control what you do, so it is not worth even trying. (what is DT?)

BLEEPyouYOUbleepingBLEEP Sat 03-Oct-09 10:47:32

You do sound a little bit controlling. Forcing him into doing what you think he should be doing might have the opposite effect of him not enjoying the time he has with his children.

preciouslillywhite Sat 03-Oct-09 10:49:26

YANBU. This is outrageous dad behaviour.

No idea what you do about it, though ( but when you find out, let me know. I know of about 30 mothers with the same query grin)

preciouslillywhite Sat 03-Oct-09 10:51:10

...hold on, is DT a twin??

..if so even more outrageous. Think it's specially important for twins to have one to one time with a parent- any parent.

piscesmoon Sat 03-Oct-09 10:52:21

You would (quite rightly) be outraged if DH told you what you should do with the DCs when he was out! I bet your DS loves it and it seems good male bonding to me!

stringerbell Sat 03-Oct-09 10:53:12

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Georgimama Sat 03-Oct-09 10:53:17

Isn't he dad all the time?

Maybe they enjoy watching old Top Gear clips together. YABU.

TheLadyEvenstar Sat 03-Oct-09 10:53:46

hell ds2 is laying on the sofa atm watching blasted itng and i am on here...... ds1 is fishing with dp but they are not interacting because they are sitting opposite sides of the lake.

piscesmoon Sat 03-Oct-09 10:54:52

Oh-DT = twin-it wasn't in the acronym list. I still think it is up to Dad. I live in an all male household and find it fairly incomprehensible-just let them get on with it.

stringerbell Sat 03-Oct-09 10:56:50

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Whedonzgal Sat 03-Oct-09 10:58:01

Are they clustered around with your DP? If so, YABU. If not, it would irritate me too but it would be difficult to justify having a go about it -esp as it's only for 45 mins! If it was all afternoon and you knew that's what was happening then Y would not BU to have a bit of a moan about him doing his own thing while they're in front of the screen. What's the rest of his time with them like?

Much of my dp's quality time with dd is spent watching stuff - together, though; it's nice.

preciouslillywhite Sat 03-Oct-09 10:58:28

can't you get Dad to go to Socatots instead?

stringerbell Sat 03-Oct-09 11:16:36

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TheFallenMadonna Sat 03-Oct-09 11:25:21

If my partner was all about the 'enriching activities' I'd probably relax in front of the telly with my DC too.

DH and the DC bond over Top Gear. I enjoy the peace.

cory Sat 03-Oct-09 15:10:59

He seems to have very little time with them if 45 minutes become so important. What happens the rest of the weekend? How do you divide chores when he is at home? My dh works fulltime and has done since our eldest turned 1, but he seems to spend plenty of time with them.

Actually, having them clustered round the laptop seems like good enrichment time to me. And I am probably as fanatic enricher as you could hope to find. But not every single waking moment of the day.

Or is it that you get rather tired with your own ambitious programme and wouldn't mind if some of the slumping time happened on your watch instead? If so- negotiate wink

Undercovamutha Sat 03-Oct-09 15:38:41

YANBU. I regularly get wound up about the 'quality time' DH spends with DCs. This usually involves them sitting on his lap and watching the discovery channel (often not long after I have had about 25 arguments with DD about switching off cbeebies!).
I think it stems from me feeling guilty that I don't do enough fun and enriching things with them, and I resent not only DH's lack of motivation to do anything proactive, but also the fact that he isn't the least bothered about it!

HarlotOTara Sat 03-Oct-09 15:54:51

What are 'enriching things'? IMO (if that means anything) enriching things are perceived as such by parents but not kids. Ultimately does it matter?

Undercovamutha Sat 03-Oct-09 16:39:00

I guess I mean, by 'enriching activities', actively engaging in a childs activity - such as joining in with building a lego tower, helping with a craft activity, reading, nursery rhymes, going to swings etc etc.

carocaro Sat 03-Oct-09 16:50:08

YABU sort of. I have this battle with my DH and DS's.

I came home yesturday after doing some stuff and there was not dinner on/ready and DH was delighted he'd hooked up the TV so we could watch You Tube on it!

Way to go!

In his defence, DS2 aged 1.5 loves watching steam trains and many other trains on You Tube, there is one USA freight train that is 7 mins long eg: long enough for peace in the loo or a phone call etc etc etc you get my drift.

There is a happy balance, you sound a bit too controllig with a smidge of dictator, so what you agreed way back when about TV?! What would happen if you just broke this rule and left CBeebies on all day?!?

Sometimes you just have to go with the flow, relax a bit and stop being so regimented with it all!

seeker Sat 03-Oct-09 16:53:01

My ds and his dad have some fabulous male bonding time over old Top Gears, Utube and football matches. I don't understand it, but they don't understand dd and me doing scrapbooking either.

rookiemater Sat 03-Oct-09 17:31:43

YANBU I have the same issue with DH. If I leave him on his own with DS whilst I go out to do food shopping, even if I leave them in an ideal position i.e. DH washing car so perfect opportunity for DS to play with sponge, or DH cutting hedge so DS can pick up leaves and put in wheely bin, every single frigging time I come back DS is stuck in front of the telly or DVD.

Now don't get me wrong, I like a bit of a break as well, indeed DS is watching Scooby Doo right now blush but I do it as part of everything else i.e. spending time playing with DS, understanding that the chores will take longer with him there, its part of being a parent surely ? DH is great when out with DS and will take him to the zoo or things like that, but being a parent is not about brief minutes of glory, its about the constant relentless grind and not always in every case taking the easy option which then makes things harder for the other parent as they are the one saying No to TV and treats.

Sorry rant over think am PMT and DH is off to a football match that due to travel means he has been out from 10.30 this morning ( but still found time to arse around on the internet beforehand) and won't be back until midnight.

girlsyearapart Sat 03-Oct-09 17:36:09

yes same here rookie.

dh seems to think the dds love playing by themselves whilst he watches poker/sky sport/plays online poker etc.

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