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to tell my ex that I had a sex dream about him?

(31 Posts)
FrameyMcFrame Fri 02-Oct-09 12:21:23

I am happily married!
But must confess to still holding a torch for my ex (who is also happily married)

I dreamt about him last night and it was quite nice. i was just about to send him a message on facebook telling him about the dream when I thought I may be being unreasonable...
Is it totally inapropriate? or ok?

SqueezyCheese Fri 02-Oct-09 12:22:31

Not appropriate.

What if your DH did this with his ex? Would that be ok? Goose, gander etc.


Winebeforepearls Fri 02-Oct-09 12:22:37

Totally Totally Totally Inappropriate

Nyx Fri 02-Oct-09 12:22:41

I wouldn't...I really wouldn't. His wife/your husband would NOT like it. And just generally I would advise you not to.

ButtercupWafflehead Fri 02-Oct-09 12:23:00

Erm, totally unreasonable. Not fair on any of the four of you. What exactly are you hoping to achieve?

marenmj Fri 02-Oct-09 12:23:49

Wow, if I had an ex do this I would be freaked out and 100% delete them from my life.

YABVVU, and inappropriate.

FrameyMcFrame Fri 02-Oct-09 12:24:48

yes I know. you are all speaking sense. I suppose I am still attatched to this man in some way even after 10 years

holeyteatowel Fri 02-Oct-09 12:37:54

Get over it. Totally teenage behaviour. You are married fgs.

GibbonInARibbon Fri 02-Oct-09 12:38:47

Bad bad bad idea. Maybe you are romanticizing the past? Easily done when life is a bit meh, or you have issues with your DH.

Really though, don't go there.

WinkyWinkola Fri 02-Oct-09 12:44:56

Sad, sad thing to do imo. What are you trying to prove? You'd just embarrass yourself because I don't think you'd get the response you want.

He'd probably just read the text and think, "Why on earth is she telling me this?" and not confess to you that he too has dreams about you.

I have sex dreams about my exes all the time blush but I'd never tell them. I think it's just part of my pgy. Weirdly never about dh and I love him dearly.

Just accept it as a dream and move on.

WhereYouLeftIt Fri 02-Oct-09 13:03:02

YABVeryU. Why would you do that? What would you expect to happen as a result of doing it? Have you even thought about these two questions?

itsmeolord Fri 02-Oct-09 13:04:09

Why are you even asking? hmm

BroodyChook Fri 02-Oct-09 13:04:32


theDeadPirateRoberts Fri 02-Oct-09 13:05:28

Another YABU - totally inappropriate - what's he supposed to do with the information, and how would your DH feel if he saw it?

BaronessBarbaraKingstanding Fri 02-Oct-09 13:09:20

This is game playing.

why do you want him to know?

what response do you want to get?

sunsd like you still carry a torch for him and want to create that tension between you and let him know there is something still there. Why? Seriously ask yourself,why?

It's a dangerous road.

It could initailly spice life up with flirting on facebook and then easily progress to 'this must mean sometjing..we need to meet to discus it...only once...we should be together...etc etc'you get the picture type concersations.

It's as clear as day, don't kid youtself. Keep the dreams private and let that in itself be your spice.

flowerybeanbag Fri 02-Oct-09 13:11:29

Of course it's inappropriate! Why would you do that? Imagine an ex of your DH's doing the same, I'm sure you wouldn't be happy about it.

curiositykilled Fri 02-Oct-09 13:13:06

Totally inappropriate. The ONLY reason to tell him would be to engineer a real life re-enactment of the dream. Otherwise it's just a bit creepy and weird.

BaronessBarbaraKingstanding Fri 02-Oct-09 13:14:58

was this dream last night? and is it still occupying your thoughts? I have dreams like this that are very very powerful and can affect my mood and feelings for the whole of the next day.

Eg-dreamt DH had affair and could not speak to him for a day while I got over itblush

and dreamt I fell in love with a stranger and we both just knew a the momemnt we saw each other and it was a love like no other-was bereft all the next day when I woke up to my very nice but real life and discovered he didn't exist.

Didn't talk to Dh much that day eitherblush poor Dh.

Anyway the point I'm making is dreams can really affect you, and maybe this powerful ream is making you think irrationally. Wait 2 days...and then be glad you did nothing!!

FabBakerGirlIsSURVIVED Fri 02-Oct-09 13:15:51

You silly girl. Of course is is not appropriate.


CybilLiberty Fri 02-Oct-09 13:18:00

Enjoy the feeling you had from the dream, use it with your dh and don't contact ex.

FrameyMcFrame Fri 02-Oct-09 13:31:48

yes the dream was last night and it's been on my mind today. I can't believe I was actually going to send the message now. I had convinced myself it was ok somehow. Thank goodness for mumsnet sensible reactions. blush
I don't know what i expected to achieve by doing it, perhaps I have a fantasy that we will get back together in another life and i can't let go of that. I do love my husband but things have been a bit turbulent over the last few months with the tiredness of having a 6 month old and no sleep plus another child who is having problems at school.

The other thing is that my ex has just had his own baby (even more reasons for this to be very unreasonable)

This has affected me because when we were together I got pregnant but I had a miscarriage. It was really hard to get over at the time and i guess the way I reacted, depression etc was part of the reason we split up.
now seeing pictures of him with his new baby on facebook has brought it all back a bit. It's probably all coming out in my subconscious.

SqueezyCheese Fri 02-Oct-09 13:35:34

Can't you delete him from your FB and make an effort to forget him and fix the cracks in your own life. If you can get back on top of things maybe you will think of him less?

It's good to see someone taking sensible advice, well done you smile

theDeadPirateRoberts Fri 02-Oct-09 13:38:17

Oh poor you for the MC sad. I can see how that would leave you feeling a missed opportunity. Maybe having a small cry and a large glass of wine would be good? And make a point of enjoying your DH's company tonight?

katiestar Fri 02-Oct-09 17:08:47

Troll ?

SolidGoldBrass Fri 02-Oct-09 17:11:03

The only reason to tell someone something like that is as a come-on. That's the only way it can be interpreted.
Having the dream doesn;t mean anything (I have had 'sexy' dreams about the most appalling people in the past).

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