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to KNOW that every time a high profile abuse case hits the news

(21 Posts)
PVish Thu 01-Oct-09 20:23:29

there will be a death penalty thread on Mn by night fall?

giddykipper Thu 01-Oct-09 20:24:26

as dh says "this'll get yer mates going"

PVish Thu 01-Oct-09 20:26:34


Eyeballls Thu 01-Oct-09 20:26:37

Because what else can you do? That case is utterly sickening as are many others. We are all powerless to do anything and it's one of our very worst fears. So we have to say something, even if it's that, because there is nothing else we can do or say.

PVish Thu 01-Oct-09 20:27:39

but there is nothign to say is htere
apart from how terrible.

nickytwotimes Thu 01-Oct-09 20:29:26

The knee-jerk reactions piss me off.
Loads of us have to live with the consequences of childhood abuse every fecking day.
That kind of shit doesn't help.

Eyeballls Thu 01-Oct-09 20:30:21

Exactly, but that sounds completely empty. Talk of harsher punishment and death penalties gives us a chance to vent a bit of the anger.

I wasn't on that thread, I wouldn't want the death penalty back, but I can see that a discussion about it in those circumstances is inevitable.

Jajas Thu 01-Oct-09 20:30:27

We are all going to end up violently agreeing that it's terrible though so what is the point?

cheesesarnie Thu 01-Oct-09 20:34:31

its just people venting their anger.ive not posted on the thread.i yell at tv a bit instead.

nickytwotimes Thu 01-Oct-09 20:37:01

See, it pisses me off because I sometimes feel that people are jumping on a topic which they can then jump back off of, iyswim?

Vicarious horror.

Not saying the feelings aren't genuine, but it is a bit like competitive sadding and as someone who has been abused and lives with that every day, it pisses me off that people pick up and drop the topic as they see fit.

HarlotOTara Thu 01-Oct-09 20:46:33

As someone who was also sexually abused by a family member I understand where you are coming from nicky. I hate the knee jerk reactions

Eyeballls Thu 01-Oct-09 20:50:22

That's ridiculous. You can say that about anything then. We reach about the Holocaust at work. I am the least Jewish person in the office. Doesn't stop me being horrifed at the photographs, the stories, trying to imagine what the hell I'd have done in those circumstances.

You're talking about entitlement. You've been through it so you are entitled to feel the emotions whereas others haven't so they aren't. But emotion isn't like that.

And I don't think this is 'dropped' the way you think it is. I think it probaby enters parents' minds fairly regularly in one way or another.

nickytwotimes Thu 01-Oct-09 20:50:34

Thanks, Harlot. smile
I have managed to avoid seeing the news and flipped past it in the papaer, as I don't know what the case is about (and don't want to either). Seeing stuff like this brings things back, even though I have spent many years dealing with it.
Tbh, I don't know what good it does anyone to read these stories. Utterly pointless.

Eyeballls Thu 01-Oct-09 20:51:29

reach = teach blush

nickytwotimes Thu 01-Oct-09 20:53:46

It is dropped eyeballs.
No one really gives a shit unless they have gone through it and know where you are coming from.
Most people don't want to know.
Trust me, as someone who was seriously damaged, I was a bloody outcast for years.

Of course any human with a heart would find these things horrific, but what the hell is the point in papers giving all the horrid details for people to pour over while they sit back with their coffee oohing and aahing.

nickytwotimes Thu 01-Oct-09 20:55:34

And actually, yes, I am more entitled to feel fucking awful about this subject than those who are a comfortable distance from it.

FabBakerGirlIsSURVIVED Thu 01-Oct-09 20:58:42

I agree with you nicky.

I also find that people who have no experience of it think other people go ott with their reactions sometimes.

nickytwotimes Thu 01-Oct-09 20:59:53

Too true, Fab.

Eyeballls Thu 01-Oct-09 21:01:54

You have no idea who is a comfortable distance from it, you are assuming you know. You know nothing about any of the people posting on that thread or this one. You don't own the whole issue, only what happened to you and you aren't entitled to dictate who can feel what.

I'm sorry, this isn't meant to you personally, just that you answered this thread. I hear this sort of thing every day and it's a discussion I have and hear all the time.

DreamsInBinary Thu 01-Oct-09 21:02:59

I don't understand. Are you saying that people with no direct experience of abuse are over-reacting, or that they think that you are over-reacting?

FabBakerGirlIsSURVIVED Thu 01-Oct-09 21:04:20


People who appear to have no experience of abuse, assume that those that have are over reacting.

just as I said.

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