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Any advice welcome - nanny saw another nanny smack child's hand

(12 Posts)
EverySingleStar Thu 01-Oct-09 17:34:43

Posted in Childminders, Nannies, etc. but would like more views.

My friend is a nanny 'X' and was on a playdate yesterday with 2 other nannies 'Y' and 'Z' (sorry for corniness, but saying 'nanny' over and over gets confusing). One of the children has gotten particularly into hitting/pushing others lately and my friend has told Y she needs to nip it in the bud more, as beforehand Y was just ignoring his behaviour

The little boy started to get rough with X's charge, and Y went over to him, took his hand and smacked it. She didn't move him, speak to him, or otherwise diffuse the situation. The little boy started to cry (he is non-verbal, not quite 2 years old). X looked at Z in shock but neither of them said anything to Y.

Do you think they should say something to not only Y but also possibly the child's mother? Or are they being busybodies?

Some more background - nanny in question is in her 30's, British, experienced but a bit dippy (her bosses actually pay her a bonus for coming to work on time because of her excessive lateness shock). Has been the child's nanny since he was 6 months old not quite 18 months.

I've already given my advice to X but would like to hear from others.

belgo Thu 01-Oct-09 17:36:46

'(her bosses actually pay her a bonus for coming to work on time because of her excessive lateness'

I'm far more shocked by that the then hand smacking! I wish I got a bonus for turning up on time to work.

famishedass Thu 01-Oct-09 17:37:55

I think you should say something to the childs parents. That way, your nanny doesn't have to grass her friend up. You have no loyalties to your nannys friend though.

redhotredhead Thu 01-Oct-09 17:43:44

Someone should definitely tell. Hard for you if you didn't witness it first hand I would have thought, but if I was the Mum I would rather be told by you than have it all swept under the carpet. Maybe they have ground rules agreed with Y that allow this (but I doubt it).

Jamieandhismagictorch Thu 01-Oct-09 17:44:30

God, I'm not sure about nanny-nanny etiquette, but I definitely agree this is not a good form of discipline.

If it were me, I'd want to know that my child was being smacked, but for all we know, that's what the mum herself does.

So, all in all, I'd say that your friend could say something to Y along the lines of "I don't find that smacking works to stop smacking", and tries her best to model a better way of dealing with things.

ElaineFiggis Thu 01-Oct-09 17:49:03

Somebody has GOT to tell the child's parents! If your nanny friend doesn't want to then I think you should do it yourself

It doesn't matter whether the mother smacks (well, it's awful if she does of course)

the CHILD has a right not to be hit by his paid carer

and even if his mother scowls and says "mind your own business" at least it will have been drawn to her attention that other people see this and are appalled!

EverySingleStar Thu 01-Oct-09 17:50:42

Thanks for replies so far - I can definitely say the mother does NOT smack and would not condone it.

Jamieandhismagictorch Thu 01-Oct-09 18:01:15

Then tell her - definitely

EverySingleStar Thu 01-Oct-09 21:11:16

bumping for evening crowd

SuperDuperJezebel Thu 01-Oct-09 21:18:11

I think i would have to tell her. I also would never see that nanny again, personally! As a nanny, i have stopped bothering with several people in the past because of their poor practice!

Blondeshavemorefun Thu 01-Oct-09 22:17:50

i replied in childcare section

a child carer should not EVER smack a child in their care

it means they have lost control

I personally would have said at that moment to that smacking nanny (if i were your friend) something along the lines of

dont do that

would i tell the mum - prob yes, if i knew how to contact her

i am sure that all mb's, mums on here would want to know if their child was being hit by their childcarer

Leeka Thu 01-Oct-09 22:21:54

Even if you don't know her, I would find a way to let her know. I'd so much rather know, as a parent, that this was happening.

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