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I feel like my birthday has been spoiled...

(18 Posts)
brassick Wed 30-Sep-09 18:50:33

I am going to be 40 next week, and although am not particularly looking forward to being 40, I have also been looking forward to it; I am going for a girly weekend away with friends and family, and out with dh and the dd's the day after my birthday. I had booked Friday and Monday off work - Friday, cos I'm going away then, and Monday to recover and just spend a guilt free day of doing nothing.

Well, last Monday, we get told that we are getting a visit from our industry regulator. This is never good news, means they are not happy with us, and basically means we have to review all our files, processes, documentation etc to ensure it's all squeaky clean. We don't know whether we will be interviewed, or just the boss, but it is very stressful, and if it goes badly, we could be shut down and out of a job.

The visit is next week, 2 days after my birthday.

Despite the fact my time off has been booked for ages, I know I won't be happy having a day at home doing nothing when my team (I am the manager) are rushing around trying to ensure everything is OK. So I have cancelled my Monday off.

We are also moving offices tomorrow - which involves us all lugging boxes full of files / computers / printers etc etc down 2 flights of stairs and up 2 flights of stairs. This will take all day tomorrow, so we will not be able to continue with our work, which increases the pressure. Not to mention the fact that we shouldn't be doing the move ourselves.

Then yesterday, 1 day before payday, the boss tells us that we won't be paid today, he hopes to tell us by Friday when we will get paid. Now I know what he is relying on for us to get paid, and I am not confident the deal will come through. This is the 6th time this has happened since I started working here (20 months ago), and every time we have asked for more notice if there is a possibility that this will happen, and every time we get at most 2 days' notice. My bank will not extend my overdraft temporarily, so I am in the position of having to call my mortgage provider and ask for their help. As the payment is due to go out on Friday, I don't know what they will be able to do.

I can't cancel my weekend away now, will lose all the money, as would my friends. However, I will be in the position of feeling that I can't spend any money, when we had planned to go out for meals, spa treatments etc.

The same applies to the meal me, dh and the dds were going to have next week.

I know I sound like a spoiled child, but I had been really looking forward to this weekend, and next week, and now because of my bosses' incompetence, refusal to follow rules and inability to understand how normal people live it is all going to have a shadow hanging over it.

It's not fair!!

ohnelly Wed 30-Sep-09 19:28:00

Oh poor you - thats awful
I would be so pissed off. Try not to think about work until you have to be there on Monday - a large glass/bottle of wine might help.
Can you have the meal with DH and the DDS the next weekend/another time when you will have been paid (hopefully). That might make up for it slightly and you will enjoy it more, then its not all ruined? and you might have a bit more money for the day with your friends if not spending on the meal the next day with the family

franklymydear Wed 30-Sep-09 19:30:55

You have let them not pay you on time 6 times?


famishedass Wed 30-Sep-09 19:33:14

I don't think I could work for a company that was persistently late paying my wages, sorry. They sound like a right bunch of cowboys.

brassick Wed 30-Sep-09 20:38:54

Thanks for the responses.

Not letting them pay me on time six times - well, perhaps I have been naive - the first few times, I believed the directors and their reassurances. Now I am a little more realistic, which is why I am looking to get out as soon as possible.

I loved the job and the company when I started, and for about 15 months - but now I just feel like I can't take any more.

Getting another job that pays what I earn now (or even pays enough for us to live on) is not easy. If I was prepared to take a 50% pay cut, I could walk into any number of other jobs, but I can't.

I just feel so resentful that my colleagues and I will be putting ourselves out tomorrow moving the offices, and then stressing out over the regulator visit next week, and we don't really have any option but to accept being paid late. If we refuse to work, we will be in breach of contract apparently.

I need a good reference, and I need the money when they have it, so they have me over a barrel.

It's really exhausting, though - and one of my team has already had 3 weeks off with depression after the last time we weren't paid on time (it was the last straw for her). If she goes off again, I dread to think how we will cope.

groundhogs Wed 30-Sep-09 21:02:14

Firstly, the birthday thing, while irrirating, is not a big issue here... You and your team need to grow some, sharpish, and seek legal advice over this.

You need to seriously get on with the business of getting out of there too, it's going to go down, one day sooner or later it's going to go down. Industry regulators not happy, not being paid on time 6/20months.... that's outrageous.

I think you are perfectly within your rights to have those buggars back over their own barrel. If they want the help to get ready for the inspection, when they haven't even frigging paid you, they are being unreasonable.

They will reimburse any charges or action taken by banks/building society due to the late salary. Tell them this straight!

Seek legal advice, perhaps someone here can tell you, but it they are making unreasonable demands of you, i.e 6/20months paid late and incurring charges etc, you may have grounds for constructive dismissal, ie. circumstances are being created that make it impossible for you to stay. If this IS the case, it may be that if they do not agree to this, you can walk, and potentially sue them.

Also, you all need an apology letter in writing for this latest late payment and a firm commitment that it will not happen again. If you have that letter, kinda means to any future employer that you left for very good reason.

A company i worked for paid us late once, they were at least full of grovelling apologies, and said that they would cover any charges incurred as a result.

Now, the birthday break. OK so you've nixed the monday off, never mind... it was only a chill day and you wouldn't really rest knowing everyone else is stressing.

If money IS tight, and your salary will only be a few days or so late, perhaps talk to DH and see if you can't get a sub on the meal he was going to pay for you, so that you CAN have some treatments. if you can't, you can't, i'm sure the time off and company of your best friends and family will be enjoyable enough.

As long as DH is OK about it, you could put back the dinner a little, and enjoy yourself with your family??

Main thing, get over this blip, and start looking for another job. Just to be on the safe side.

Happy Birthday BTW! grin, My 40th got screwed up by my mums husband... but being 40, 41 etc is OK, highly enjoyable so far!

brassick Wed 30-Sep-09 21:10:28

They have said they will pay charges, and have done so in the past. The first time it happened, we had an apology letter from the directors. The next few times, we had an email from the director or head of accounts.

This time, the director told 3 of us as we were in a meeting with him anyway. I told the HR manager, who was a little pissed off not to have been told.

He spoke to her and 1 other person yesterday, and texted another during today, saying he had to speak to her about pay. Not sure when he actually spoke to her. There is one person on holiday, and that leaves one other person, I think the director called him, but this is the end of his first full month - I don't see him being too impressed with this...

I'm sure the director would say that his time is better spent seeing new clients and screwing money out of them impressing them with our wonderful services, but it just feels like he isn't really taking any of this seriously.

It's a real shame, we are a great team and work really well together. Our loyalty is all to each other, and no longer to the directors. It feels like it's only a matter of time now before it all starts falling apart - once one of us gets out, the rest won't be far behind. Of course in the current climate, one puts up with a lot more than perhaps one would have done a couple of years ago, and I'm sure the directors know that...

brassick Wed 30-Sep-09 21:12:01

Oh, and suing them will get us nowhere fast - they have already put one company into liquidation, leaving debtors behind them...I don't doubt they would do it again fast enough if it meant they wouldn't have to pay out.

franklymydear Thu 01-Oct-09 17:06:49

they are in breach of contract not paying you on time though


be careful and get your interview head on

questioneverything Thu 01-Oct-09 17:58:23

Personally I am sick to the back teeth of birthdays, and I am younger than you.

Try being grateful that you are alive.

catinthehat2 Thu 01-Oct-09 18:04:05

You know what, after the regulators have gone, I might be a bit ill with all the stress and that, just for a day like. And I might spend my day checking out other places to work. Like. Just saying.

brassick Thu 01-Oct-09 22:56:02

Well, we got paid today. And we will be refunded all bank charges (and as my bank paid about 6 direct debits without there being sufficient funds, there will be a lot of charges). We also worked our arses off all day on the office move.

Of course the director had to sort out the pay, hmm so wasn't around to help at all - he came in at the end of the day and stood around looking clueless.

I am so angry with how he's taken us all for granted & doesn't have any consideration for us at all.

And I know that other people have real problems, & I should count my blessings etc, but I have never before in my life felt so close to a breakdown. In fact I did break down in tears on DH tonight when I thought he was trying to get out of the family meal - I suggested we move it to the night after the regulator visit, he suggested we didn't go at all, I started sobbing & he confessed he had arranged a surprise already for that night...blush

catinthehat2 Sat 03-Oct-09 07:46:25

Please please remember that it is very common to be so demoralised by work, and so afraid you won't get another job , that you don't say 'stick it' and look for a new one.
Becasue you can work well in such awful circs, you WILL find you are very employable, because you are keen, resilient and able. This really is 'stick it mate' time.

PuppyMonkey Sat 03-Oct-09 07:52:13

Take the Monday off as you planned and use the time constructively to look for somewhere else to work.

How can you feel guilty about not being at work on the Monday when they don't pay you? Bet they didn't feel guilty about that.

slowreadingprogress Sat 03-Oct-09 07:54:44

agree - they sound utterly crap and on the brink of collapse

Not paying you on time is just such a huge no-no and for it to happen that often hmm

and making staff move themselves instead of paying someone to do it hmm

I would check they are paying your NI contributions properly....any pension? Check it sad

And totally agree with cat. Take your day off later next week and look for another job. I'd be doing it and doing it like yesterday

GibbonInARibbon Sat 03-Oct-09 08:04:52

I don't think you sound like a spoilt child, nor do I think you should feel guilty for being so upset by the whole work/pay fiasco.

Glad to hear you have been paid now, enjoy your birthday weekend - get spoilt and forget about work for a few days grin

brassick Sat 03-Oct-09 08:07:09

The reason I don't want to take Monday off is because I feel guilty about my colleagues, who will still be beavering away trying to get stuff done, & it's them I will feel like I'm letting down. Also, if I'm not there on Monday, there will just be more work for me to fit into Tuesday & Wednesday, so it would only backfire on me...

I am actively looking for a new job, have made some applications, fingers crossed I get something soon. This job has knocked my confidence though.

In terms of pension/NI, they set up a pension at the beginning of the year & were meant to be matching the contributions, within 1 month that was cancelled. £20 per month has been taken out of my wages as a contribution to the charity we are supporting this year-this is a voluntary contribution-but I'm not convinced the money has actually been paid to the charity. hmm

The more I write down, the more I realise how dodgy it all is & the more I want to get out asap.

PuppyMonkey Sat 03-Oct-09 08:11:06

I know it's rotten for your colleagues...but they will also be in the shit when you leave. Which you just must. Tell them all to throw sickies!!! wink

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