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To change dd1 to school dinners?

(15 Posts)
Madsometimes Tue 29-Sep-09 12:29:10

At the moment, dd1 takes a packed lunch to school and dd2 has school dinners. dd1 is incredibly fussy about food and also hates the smell and noise of the dining room. However, any sensory issues she has are minor. She has no problems with a noisy disco, for example, and has no diagnosed SEN.

The problem is that dd1 rarely eats what I put in her packed lunch, she is heartily sick of ham and cheese sandwiches and would not consider a pasta or rice salad. She would be glad to have a munch bunch or crisps, and perhaps some nice melon from M&S.

Also, my children are not the best at getting ready in the morning. Simply getting dressed and having breakfast takes an hour and they are not babies (9 and 6)blush

When dd2 tells me that she has had chicken and rice, or pizza and pasta for lunch, it does seem that she is having food that I would be quite happy to eat myself. Therefore I have said, no more packed lunches. I am not doing it any more! Obviously, dd1 thinks that I am the worst mother in the world, so am I?

Marioandluigi Tue 29-Sep-09 12:33:25

s hse doesnt want them then I think YABU. How will you know what she has eaten if you dont get to see the packaging. She may very well dig her heels in and not eat anything.

Make the lunchboxes at night, saves trying to find time to do it in the mornings.

Marioandluigi Tue 29-Sep-09 12:33:49

That should start 'If she' blush

kreecherlivesupstairs Tue 29-Sep-09 12:34:35

You are definitely not the worst mother in the world, that's me. My only caution with the school lunch thing is whether your dd will actually eat it. My dd has an abysmal appetite and is reluctant to try new food. I used to send her for school lunch on the day she went swimming so at least she had more than a sandwich in side her. When I asked her what she'd eaten she changed the subject and became evasive. I went in one day to spy on her (blush), she had a slice of bread. Nothing else, just a slice of bread. Nobody was supervising them apart from the clearing of the table. Her school doesn't have different options, it's take it or leave it and she preferred to leave it.

clumsymum Tue 29-Sep-09 12:35:11

Nope, your dd1 is being a bit precious, I suspect.

If you are in the UK, you should get menus of the type of food that they will be serving, and trust me, it's much better and more exciting than we got.

If you ask at school, you should be able to go in one day and sample the school dinner experience. Do that, along with dd1.

Then move her over to school dinners for the rest of term.

DS used to have school dinners occasionally, but as he won't assist with packing up his lunch at all, and I hate faffing about with it, he's moved onto them permanently.

No, if she's not eating what you pack up, then she might as well have school dinner.

Madsometimes Tue 29-Sep-09 12:43:39

I do tend to be pfb with dd1, so that is why I have let her take a packed lunch, but insisted that dd2 has school dinners since reception! I can't help but feel that being pfb does the parent and child no good at all! It is also quite unfair on dd2, which I feel guilty about. Whenever dd2 has a school trip which requires a packed lunch I always give her an extra special one to make it up to her.

HSMM Tue 29-Sep-09 12:58:39

I did this with my DD. The only exception is Friday, because she is really not fussed about fish and chips. However ... she is 10 now, so she makes her own packed lunch on Friday morning.

WhereYouLeftIt Tue 29-Sep-09 12:59:31

I have done the same in the past, DS (now 10) would bring back most of his lunch. I did give him an ultimatum first though - gave him one week of packed lunches, and if it was still coming back uneaten he was going on to school lunches. He went on to school lunches, which he complained of bitterly. Still, nice to think he's not sleekit enough to think to just dump his packed lunch in the bin grin.

Worst case scenario, she doesn't eat the school dinner - how is that any different from not eating her packed lunch? It then comes down to choosing between increased cost of lunch versus getting wound up by seeing lunch come back uneaten. Your choice, not hers!

Acinonyx Tue 29-Sep-09 14:06:36

You could try it. I did this with dd in the hope that she would take some responsibility for feeding herself - but she has a good appetite and I know she will eat rather than go hungry. I suspect she eats mainly bread and pudding though hmm

OtterInaSkoda Tue 29-Sep-09 14:36:52

YANBU. Besides once she cottons on to the fact that you check her lunch box every afternoon she'll start chucking out the stuff she's not eaten to cover her tracks. I find it a bit odd tbh when people assume that just coz the box is empty, their dc has eaten it all. I suppose they might not be alllowed to ditch the rejected fodder but I'm sure they find a way.
Can't be doing with packed lunches myself - life's too short. grin

wishingchair Tue 29-Sep-09 14:50:09

A DS of a friend of mine used to hide his uneaten sandwiches. They were only discovered when she went to investigate the rancid smell emanating from his wardrobe.

My opinion - YANBU. DD1 would happily have packed lunch and would eat the same thing every day. She has school dinners and has reasonable variety of food (roast day is her absolute favourite) and I maintain some level of sanity. It is through school dinners that she now eats tomatoes, lettuce, burgers (nice home made ones), chicken drumsticks. All stuff that was previously rejected.

diddl Tue 29-Sep-09 14:56:47

Does she have friends who have school lunches?

If she hardly eats her packed lunch then I can´t see that you´ve got much to lose by trying TBH!

But I think your morning routine needs working on!

Pikelit Tue 29-Sep-09 14:57:25

YANBU and certainly, changing her to school dinners makes for a fairer regime all round. Children are often far less precious about what they'll eat when not having parental food to pick over but in any case, she won't starve.

Knickers0nmahead Tue 29-Sep-09 15:08:56


It wont hurt to put her on school dinners. If she doesn't eat anything, she wont starve. But eventually she will realise that she will need to eat dinner or have to wait until she gets home.

VulpusinaWilfsuit Tue 29-Sep-09 15:24:04

Our school sent a leaflet home saying, on average, kids who eat school dinners get a more balanced diet.

<drops bomb and runs away>

I am a big supporter of them and think more parents should be.

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