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to want to point on to my MIL that the reason my dd has asthma is....

(9 Posts)
suiledonn Tue 29-Sep-09 11:07:36

not because of my bad housekeeping skills, the fact I don't insist dd wears shoes in the house or because there is something sinister in my parents garden that she is allergic to BUT because she inherited from DH who inherited it from HER side of the family.

I know I would be unreasonable but I am tired of the implication that it is somehow my fault every time she is sick.

Really I don't think see it as a Fault/Blame issue but she seems to.

fruitshootsandleaves Tue 29-Sep-09 11:08:18

YANBU, but let your DH do it!!

TheMightyToosh Tue 29-Sep-09 11:11:56


Wow, that would really annoy me, too. I personally would end up saying something, even if just dropping it into conversation that it was hereditary from her father, as there is no history of asthma on your side (assuming there isn't!). Your MIL will be able to work the rest out for herself.

suiledonn Tue 29-Sep-09 11:16:48

It has come up in conversation lots of times she just refuses to put 2 + 2 together.

When dd1 first showed signs of eczema/allergies MIL regularly said 'I don't know where she gets it from, we have nothing like that on our side of the family'

Then I find out DH was dairy and wheat free for years due to chronic rhinitis, his brother has very bad hayfever and had asthma as a child.

DD is seeing a paediatrican and has seen an immunologist but MIL still wants me to take her to a Chinese medicine place in the local shopping centre so they can test her hair.

peanutbutterkid Tue 29-Sep-09 11:32:18

the MIL is old, set in her ways. She is not going to see things differently, no matter what your DH or anybody says. She is resolutely blind to something obvious to you.

What does it matter what she says? You know she's mistaken, let it go.

I had this with DC this morning, btw! DS5yo kept saying DD's birthday is 10 days away (it is in fact 11 days away). Fierce arguments between the DC about the number of days, no matter how many times I said
"What does it matter what he thinks?! He's FIVE years old, let him think whatever he likes."

Take that attitude with MIL,I suggest.

TheMightyToosh Tue 29-Sep-09 11:39:22

Oh dear, she does sound a bit delusional and therefore not likely to respond to you trying to set her straight, in that case.

I change my stance, then, and agree with peanutbutterkid - let her think her own delusional thoughts and leave her to it.

Just smile and say you'll just follow the advice of the paediatrician, but thanks for the suggestion of chinese herbalist anyway.

IWishIWasAFrog Tue 29-Sep-09 11:44:55

ignore ignore ignore

let you dh deal with it.

she sound like a silly cow, perhaps she should visit her chinese herbalist for some ginko biloba to help her memory wink

CuntWhacker Tue 29-Sep-09 11:52:36

YANBU. But I agree that you should let make let your DH deal with it.

Marioandluigi Tue 29-Sep-09 12:01:25

YANBU. When DS was 3 months he got Strep B. MIL was telling everyone that would listen that it was because I didnt BF. I was in such a state about him being poorly it really upset me. I have never forgiven her and its the basis of our strained relationship now.

She sounds like a silly old bint. I would definately say something. Dont suffer in silence like me

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