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What next......????

(4 Posts)
maebella Mon 28-Sep-09 16:13:02

I have a 2yr old daughter, i am not with her biological father. He has struggled to be there as a father since birth. Choosing his girlfriend over his child and that has hurt us badly. I have pushed maybe to hard in the last 2 years to try and get him interested and finally after spliting with the physco x he has taken an interest in our child together.
He has her every Thursday afternoon for the last couple of months, my problem now is as i have stated to him regularly he needs to spend more time with her as for now she only see's him as a 'playmate' and not as her father. Ive asked him to have her at weekends to build up the relationship but he finds excuses and clearly feels that thursday afternoon is more than enough time.

Im with another partner now and have been since she was 3months so she knows him as daddy and her real father clearly has an issue with this.
But as i stated to him had he of been there for our daughter this would never have been an issue.
I now feel that rather than constatly bicker about him seeing her that i would like to not allow any visits at all???? As this is only going to cause more problems. I know this might seem drastic and unfair but had others been through all the treats and abuse we have ( i nearly lost my 2nd, through his ex's abuse)had to endure, which no doubt a lot of you have. I just feel so tired of pushing all the time and not getting any responce from him. God when he dropped her off last week he said 'god i don't know how you do it 24/7!!!!

All views would be helpful x x x x

TheHeadbangingWombat Mon 28-Sep-09 16:15:26

YABU. He does sound like he's being an ass but contact with your dd should be encouraged. Don't make that decision for her, you may come to regret it when you have to explain to her that you chose to cut off contact and that she has missed out on years of contact because of that.
She should be allowed to see him.

whoingodsnameami Mon 28-Sep-09 16:19:18

Dont not allow any visits at all, continue to play fair, continue to let him know its not enough. Hopefully one day soon he will grow up, and if not, well, let your dd decide for herself when she is older what she thinks of him, not growing up knowing, her mum stopped the visits because he was'nt good enought, she may resent you for

KnickersandVests Mon 28-Sep-09 16:24:26


As long as his influence on her is a positive one and he neither neglectful or abusive towards her then he should continue to see her as much as possible, the relationship should be encouraged by you, remember, you had the baby with him.

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