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To get ds1 to start doing a few chores?

(29 Posts)
tillyfernackerpants Mon 28-Sep-09 15:51:15

All I ask him to do is to tidy up his toys (every day), put his & ds2's dishes in the sink (most days) and then maybe one other job that we do together, eg putting clothes away or helping me in the garden.

I think this its good for them to learn responsibilities & is good training for when he's married, especially as I have a dh who is useless around the house, mil let him get away with not doing anything grin. But a friend told me she thought I was being harsh on ds1 asking him to do anything.

So, AIBU?

plimple Mon 28-Sep-09 15:53:51

Don't be silly. You must know you're right.

mrsjammi Mon 28-Sep-09 15:55:13

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mrsjammi Mon 28-Sep-09 15:55:30

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BornToFolk Mon 28-Sep-09 15:55:53

How old is he?
In general, I think it's good for children to learn a bit of responsibility. DS is nearly two but already helps to tidy his toys away and takes his cup back to the kitchen when he's finished with it. As he gets older, he'll be expected to take on more age-appropriate chores. DP is counting down the days until he can take on mowing the lawn!

thesecondcoming Mon 28-Sep-09 15:56:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

singingmum Mon 28-Sep-09 15:57:38

Def not BU My children have helped with things since they could hold a duster.They loved it and felt like they were helping.
Hate the whole 'let kids play and do nothing helpful or useful'way of raising children.Even my kim and aggie book reccomends 2yr olds do some stuff like toys put away.Teaches them responsibility and means that when they grow up they can take care of themselves and won't be relying on others or living in a dirty hovel.
Anyone who brings their child up without ever expecting them to do or learn how to do anything is
a)making a rod for their own back and
b)not doing their duty as a parent to provide their child with the skills needed to live their lives

tillyfernackerpants Mon 28-Sep-09 16:01:17

Quick replies! Thanks

He's 3.5 and generally wants to help, always asking if there's anything he can do!

Plimple, I thought I was right but she's planted a little seed of doubt in there now!

TrinityRhino Mon 28-Sep-09 16:13:15

you are right and you know it

singingmum Mon 28-Sep-09 16:13:16

Just remind yourself of this when your dc's are teens who know how to tidy their bedroom and wash dishes while hers sit pulling kevin the teenager faces and refusing point blank to do anything.Reality is children who start to learn young learn better and grow to be more well rounded and responsible teens and adults

thesecondcoming Mon 28-Sep-09 16:15:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrsjammi Mon 28-Sep-09 16:24:51

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nellynaemates Mon 28-Sep-09 16:29:52

Of course you're right, my son's not even 2 and I get him to help me with things (of course this usually takes longer than if I'd just done it myself!!) because it introduces him to the concept of housework. He unloads my washing machine for me and passes me pegs when I'm hanging it out, wipes the table when he's made a mess and occasionally helps to hoover

kickassangel Mon 28-Sep-09 16:53:46

yep, dd is 6 & has her chores. if she doesn't do them, no sweeties!
dh never had to do anything, and he honestly doesn't have a clue how much effort/time housework is - though i have educated him (VERY LOUDLY at times - grr)

Morloth Mon 28-Sep-09 16:56:33

DS(5) has his chores, he puts his stuff in the kitchen, sorts out the washing and puts in machine and keeps his bedroom tidy.

He has even figured out that if he does some of my jobs and does them well he can negotiate pocket money. A most satisfactory arrangement for both of us wink.

lynniep Mon 28-Sep-09 17:03:38

I agree with posters who say children should get used to helping. I expect my 2 year old to help, even though it consists of just tidying toys away and taking things back to the kitchen, putting stuff in the bin etc.

He's at an age where this is fun to do so may as well get him trained up LOL!

They need to grasp the concept asap that you are not their slave, you are their parent, and the two are not the same thing.

CuntWhacker Mon 28-Sep-09 22:33:30

Definitely not BU

RumourOfAHurricane Mon 28-Sep-09 22:38:44

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WhereYouLeftIt Mon 28-Sep-09 22:45:39

YANBU.

"He's 3.5 and generally wants to help, always asking if there's anything he can do!" - What a little star he is!

envy Morloth too.

Monty100 Mon 28-Sep-09 22:55:17

YANBU. DS 13 empties dishwasher regularly, likes to give a hand when cooking (although this is not always helpful lol). Strips his own bed, tidies own room -although-- not very well (this is only when told asked to). He can cook himself a bacon sarnie (and for me) on a Saturday morning, loads of stuff.

I wouldn't let him near the washing machine or iron and there's loads of things I wouldn't ask him or expect him to do. I must teach him how to mow the lawn though lol.

Why shouldn't they learn how to do stuff?

catinthehat2 Mon 28-Sep-09 23:13:07

If you train him to clean/cook/iron etc, Tilly's boy is goign to be fighting girls off with a stick when he gets older. Start 'em young.

freename Tue 29-Sep-09 10:31:31

The biggest mistake people make is they wait until the kids are teenagers and then suddently expect them to take on chores. Start young and make it fun. If it's something they've always done it won't be a problem. If you ask for more help when they are older they won't see it as a battle rather it will be extension of something they do anyway. I agree with picking appropriate 'jobs'. Mine are old enough to make a cup of tea but I wouldn't let them iron for example. (Not that I do any ironing either grin). They don't do things every single day but they will if I ask them to. Mostly it's clear away their own toys/books, load the dishwasher of their own plate after a meal, put their own laundry away - you get the idea. The concept of helping out is very important and so good for them to understand that even little things they can do can be a MASSIVE help to you and will equip them to be able to look after themselves later.

claw3 Tue 29-Sep-09 10:39:51

Oh i love the 'i want to help' stage, unfortunately for me once ds reached 15, he turned into Kevin 'i am NOT your slave' when asked to do anything for himself.

nappyaddict Tue 29-Sep-09 10:57:07

envy that your 3 year old can put clothes away neatly and helps in the garden. Mine would just unfold everything and mess in the dirt or pretend to mow the lawn!

Pitchounette Tue 29-Sep-09 11:13:47

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