To think my sister is being irresponsible..

[YummyorSlummy]

In letting her 13 and 14 year old dcs drink in the bar on holiday (in the UK)?
She told me yesterday that her ds had asked her if he could 'get drunk' on holiday to which she replied yes, and told me that she had let them each have 2 alcopops on a couple of nights. She's always had different views on parenting to me but am I right to feel judgy about this?

[colditz]

welll..... I dunno.

Was she with them? 2 alcopops is actually not very much - this might be a safe way for them to learn their limits without having to sneak off and drink themselves to oblivion. If she is the one who says "yes, have a drink" she can also be the one to say "NOW YOU HAVE TO STOP". They already know she isn't ridiculously strict, so they are more likely to listen to her.

[TheLadyEvenstar]

Yummy, i think it depends tbh. My parents allowed me to taste alcohol from an early age just as I do with my dc. Last new year ds1 was allowed 1 alcopop (lemonade added mind)

[famishedass]

YANBU.

What next? Will she give them a line of coke when they tell her they want to get high on drugs?

[colditz]

But who says there has to BE a next?

cocaine is NOT the same substance as alcohol, it is illegal and very dangerous.

Moderate amounts of alcohol are neither illegal nor dangerous - the comparison simply does not stand.

I don't agree with letting them drink in bars PURELY because some poor barmaid/man is risking his/her job serving them. That's not to say I don't agree with them drinking. Teenagers of that age in France would certainly expect a glass of wine with their meal.

[alwayslookingforanswers]

agree with both Colditz's posts

[TheLadyEvenstar]

Colditz, I agree with you a small amount is not going to harm them.

Famished I think that comparison is a bit OTT.

I also think that allowing children to have alcohol in small amounts will prevent them becoming the kind of child/teen/ young adult that feels the need to hang around in parks drinking. Or go binge drinking.

[SolidGoldBrass]

Hmm. Legally a 14 year old is allowed wine or cider or beer with a meal in licensed premises, if accompanied by an adult. So i don't think your dsis is being massively irresponsible by allowing her DC to taste alcohol. However, she is risking the barperson's joba nd the landlord's licence by purchasing alcopops for a 13 and 14 year old, which is a bit unfair. In general, I think that allowing young teens a little bit of alcohol as a celebration/treat is no bad thing; that's how most adults consume it as well.

[YummyorSlummy]

I think it's the fact that he had asked her if he could 'get drunk' and she gave the impression that this was OK (the idea of being drunk) And also the fact that it was in a bar, not with a meal. If it was in the house I would have thought that one would be OK.

[nappyaddict]

YANBU. I have no problem with children being allowed to taste "real" alcohol like wine or beer on private premises but I think it is irresponsible to get them hooked on those vile alcopops.

The age for being allowed an alcoholic drink with a meal is actually 16 not 14 and it must be bought by someone over 18 and it has to be wine, beer or cider.

[pooexplosions]

Why give them that foul tasting shite? Thats not giving them the taste of real alcohol anyway.
Should have given them a pint of guiness each, I bet they wouldn't have asked for a second one!

[DoNotPressTheRedButton]

Nah, the trick Dad used worked fine- regular glass of his foul home amde wine would put anyone off drinking until they are 18!

Otherwise agree with Colditz

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

It's a tricky one.

I do feel that 2 alcopops is quite a lot for a 13 year old, I would feel the effects of that even with my wine-inured liver!

[serenity]

I don't like children drinking alcopops because they don't taste like alcohol. Far too easy to drink imo. I would hope it was a jokey exchange between her and her DS about getting drunk. For me, that request (if serious) would be a giant indicator that he was too immature.

[BoredShitlessbytheDailyMail]

My dad would always buy me a drink at bars from about the age of 15. The only time we were ever at a bar was family celebrations so it wasn't a regular thing. The only condition was that if I was going to drink with them, I had to have a real drink, alcopops were not allowed.
The first time I ever got drunk was at a family wedding and I was with my parents. I think it's probably the best way to do it tbh. All of my friends were drinking at that time, except they were doing it at the park/on street corners etc.
Do agree alcopops are shite though, I think my dad had the right idea, if you're going to drink alcohol at least learn what it really tastes like!