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to think that people sometimes dont get what they deserve??

(24 Posts)

im not talking about some terrible crimes ect, but why do people suggest people will get what they deserve? I know some lovely people have had some terrible times and some terrible people who seem to have it all! hardly balanced life!

cheesesarnie Sat 26-Sep-09 22:52:27

i agree.

Fluffypoms Sat 26-Sep-09 22:55:58

I second that.

snapple Sat 26-Sep-09 23:47:23

life is not always fair.

2shoes Sat 26-Sep-09 23:50:44

yanbu

beaniesinthebucketagain Sat 26-Sep-09 23:51:01

tell me about it!

mwff Sat 26-Sep-09 23:54:51

i have a friend who seems to have the worst luck in the world. not trivial stuff, heartbreakingly serious stuff.

and i'm one of those people that everything seems to fall into place for, i feel i've had a pretty charmed life. so often i've wished there was some way to share it.

Tryharder Sun 27-Sep-09 09:58:40

My DH is from West Africa and the general belief in his culture is that the quality of your life hinges on the crimes/good deeds committed by your ancestors. So if your great, great, grandparent murdered someone, it will mean that you may well have a fucking shit life even if you are a lovely person.

Obviously with that belief, the things that you do now will impact on future generations.

i have never heard that one before, well im in real trouble, my granddad is not nice at all!
I guess i get fed up with the saying, as it makes me feel like we must have done some real horrors atm

AvrilH Sun 27-Sep-09 12:37:38

YANBU, it is something I've been thinking about lately, some people seem to imagine that, if they only do things right, no harm will come to them or their DC. For every misfortune or tragedy they look for someone to blame. Life's not like that, so much just comes down to happenstance.

It goes with snobbery too. The same people look down on those who have less, without considering the random chance behind them e.g. being in a position to buy property before the boom.... We can only play the hands of card we are dealt, and a bit of empathy goes a long way.

well said Avril, if people ever say anything about the families I work with, sometimes i just reply "well if i had made different choices at different times, that could well be me".
Someone offered to swap lifes with me the other day, if only she knew what she was saying! LOL

pagwatch Sun 27-Sep-09 12:50:12

Of course not.
But we don't really know what other people lives are like just by looking in.

The man that abused me all through my childhood lived a long life and died with everyone thinking what a great bloke he was.
My dad worked his arse off and brought up 8 children with dedication and self sacrifice but died in considerable pain and in debt.

People look at my life and think I have it easy but have no notion of what my life has been - I get 'its alright for you...' comments all the time.
And yet I am very happy whereas people who have dealt with just a smidge of what I have had to cope with are miserable fuckers.

You get shit and you get lucky but how you deal with all of those things is what counts.

sarah293 Sun 27-Sep-09 12:50:27

Message withdrawn

poshsinglemum Sun 27-Sep-09 12:54:25

Life is not fair at all. I just cling onto the notion of Karma but it dosn't seem to work out like that.
Having said that, people who have been mean to me in the past have had their comeuppance in one way or another. My abusive ex boyfriend is now divorced for eg. Life is not totally good or totally bad for anyone. Some people who seem to have it all have skeletons in their closets.

Tryharder Sun 27-Sep-09 12:56:41

I suppose this is why the concept of heaven/hell is so attractive. If you are a good, wonderful person but have a shit life, the idea that you will get your rewards after you die is somewhat comforting.

Probably why "poor people" generally speaking are more religious...*

*
disclaimer, I realise that this is a massive sweeping statement unbacked by any factual evidence but you know what i mean

I dont have a problem with the hand we are dealt, just how life works, just would hate for people to believe we are truely terrible people, and i guess that saying "they get what they deserve" really gets to me.
I dont belive in hell, just sleep in graves and dont do karma either.

TrillianAstra Sun 27-Sep-09 13:03:39

YANBU at all.

ABetaDad Sun 27-Sep-09 13:05:49

Life is defintley unfair. To some extent, I thnk people who obsess about how many qualifications theri children wil get at school or what position their school is in te league table, or whther they need extra tutoring lose sight of the fact that at the end of it all the correlation betwen success and hard work and qualifications is very low. Parental wealth/social position and luck or bad luck has an awful lot to do with how well people ultimately do in life.

BustleInYourHedgerow Sun 27-Sep-09 13:14:14

It's definetly something people say to make themselves feel better about their crappy lives.....

Know I say it to myself enough times!

Morloth Sun 27-Sep-09 16:50:03

Agree with ABetaDad luck is a huge factor in how your life goes. Even if you are a hard worker you need a bit of luck to get somewhere.

Just being born into a stable environment, with 2 loving parents and enough resources to feed and clothe you is a massive leg up on a world scale.

OrmIrian Sun 27-Sep-09 16:59:48

Because that's life. It isn't fair. I always get a bit narked with people who have got it good - financially, emotionally, career-wise - and say 'well I worked for it' as if those who aren't doing as well haven't hmm Sometimes things don't go as you plan, no matter how much 'work' you put in.

BedofRosesItAintII Sun 27-Sep-09 17:08:28

I agree with Tryharder, religion is how we cope with the unfairness of life. Otherwise is can be very difficult to accept that although you have done all the right things, and worked very hard, you are just not going to get where you thought you would.

Luck has an awful lot to do with it.

But, I do think that the key to life is to make the best of wherever you end up.

BedofRosesItAintII Sun 27-Sep-09 17:25:50

Oops. I have killed this thread blush

roulade Sun 27-Sep-09 18:22:39

I'm with OrmIrian on this one, it gets my goat too!smile

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