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To think how much uni work I do is my business?

(4 Posts)
LissyGlitter Sat 26-Sep-09 22:18:48

I am 32 weeks pregnant and am studying part time. I am keeping on top of the required reading and doing a bit extra on top, and I'm pretty confident that I am doing the right amount of studying. Last night I had a bad night of painful BH and feeling generally unwell so I have been taking it really easy today, playing gentle games with DD, messing about online and so on, basically getting my feet up, and the pains have pretty much gone, apart from the odd twinge.

DP has spent the day at a job fair in the next town looking for a job. I know it is hard for him being out of work, but he has done nothing but get at me since he got back. His latest was to walk into the room after his bath, and say in a nasty tone "I see you are still not bothering to read any books. When exactly are you planning on dropping out or failing this course, because there is no point us wasting money on books if you aren't even going to try".

I had to drop out last year because I was hospitalised with mental health issues.

I know he would like to be at uni himself, but tbh he has dropped out more times then me, and if he really wanted to, he could do an OU course for free because we are on a low income. He is a lot more academic then me (as in, he gets firsts without very much effort, I tend to average around a high 2:1 with more effort, although I could possibly push it up to a first if I put the rest of my life on hold) and reads/watches stuff of a much more intellectual vein for fun than I do. He particularly dislikes me coming on here as he says I get stupid ideas in my head.

He is lovely most of the time, it's just he seems to think that I should be always "on" and should never read or watch stuff of a "popular" nature.

Also whenever I say the pregnancy is making me tired, he blames it on me going to bed late - I am almost always in bed by midnight, and usually have a nap in the day when DD goes for hers. It's just that heartburn, needing the loo, leg cramps and all the other late pregnancy niggles get me up four or five times a night, so I just don't get the quality sleep.

Meh, I am probably making him sound worse than he is, he is lovely, it's just he does my head in sometimes! Also, when he started on at me before, the pain immediately came back in my bump. It's not a labour type pain, more of a strain, but it isn't nice, and worrying when DD came early.

Rantagonist Sat 26-Sep-09 22:43:40

It's really whether your OH is feeling a bit shitty because he's not been able to keep on top of his own degree, or whether he's trying to encourage you to do something that he's finding hard, but it's coming across in the wrong way?

I'm 25 wks preg and doing a masters with the OU, and it is really hard to keep motivated when your body isn't as cutting edge as it normally is. Thankfully it just gives me an excuse to sit tapping away on the computer with my feet up looking at MN working grin

If you are with the OU, only a few more weeks to go, and the relief you feel when it's done gives you such a high that all the pain will have been worth it, hope your preg/course goes well smile

LissyGlitter Sat 26-Sep-09 22:54:05

I am part time with a "normal" uni, and have had to start again at the beginning due to moving city, so six years to go! I am really looking forward to the course though, just wish that DP didn't think that being supportive was the same as nagging!

I think it was getting him down that he has no job too. Apparently he was the only person in a suit and tie at the job fair, and he really is trying hard, but still no job is forthcoming. With me unable to work and DD and the new baby to think of, the pressure is on, and of course the jobs he is applying for aren't exactly inspiring, what with him having no degree.

I can see why he is pissed off, I just wish he wouldn't take it out on me. I am trying to be supportive, but I think I deserve a bit of down time when I am getting worrying pregnancy symptoms. I still kept DD entertained most of the day (she did go to her grandparents for a couple of hours, during which time he arrived home, but most of my day was spent singing songs, building castles out of lego and playing farms, ok it wasn't housework or studying, but I wasn't sitting about doing nothing either!)

stickylittlefingers Sat 26-Sep-09 23:15:44

It's tough on you, but if it's any comfort it's difficult when you have an academic job too, or any sort of job, I should imagine, where you don't go to an office and do a 9-5 day etc. It looks like skiving to other people...

Sounds like he's having a difficult time - you know that yourself so I guess you'll have to cut him a bit of slack, even if he is being an arse!

I hope you get some more sleep now. I was retraining when pregnant with my first, and found a great pattern to go to sleep as early as poss, then get up around 2-3am (because I was waking up then anyway) and do a couple of hours work, then could go back to sleep after. It's nice working in the quiet of the night, if you're a night-owl type.

Good luck with it all!

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