AIBU and over sensitive or is she really a crap mate?(3 Posts)
Have been friends with a girl I met through work for about 4 years now but every time I spend any time with her she makes me feel like crap!
A couple of years ago she had a still born baby (I was 2mnths pg at the time)
It really was a horrendous time and I tried to be the best friend to her that I possibly could. I went round regularly, spent hours listening and basically was there if she needed me.
Fast forward a year or so and my marriage broke down. She had just had another baby and I had my 10mnth old DS.
We still saw each other regularly but she never went out of her way to see if I was ok. When her DS was born I rushed round with champagne, flowers and gifts for the baby. I lent her lots of my old baby things too.
When it was DS's 1st birthday she bought him some little fisher price balls that actually go with another toy. (pretty useless on their own)
I was really offended by her lack of thought.
Fast forward another year and we still see each other (although much less frequently).
She makes comments such as-
"Oh, your going out again and leaving poor DS at home" (I put him to bed before I go out and leave him with a trusted babysitter)
"I've had to get DS in bed all on my own tonight, it was such a nightmare, I am so tired blah blah blah" (I do that every night on my own!)
She just seems to show no regard for me or my life. It hurts me to know that someone I went so out of my way for actually doesn't care about me.
I know this probably sounds like one big rant but I need to know if it's me with the problem or her.
Perhaps I should stop seeing her all together, it feels as if it has become very one sided
Tell her that she's upsetting you and why.
If she doesn't change, then consider it ended.
I think you've got to at least tell her what's upsetting you - she can't have a chance to change unless you tell her.
It is disappointing when you give and you get nothing back. But then again she does not automatically owe you just because you were there for her during a hard time and needs to pay you equally back. The fisher price balls things is a bit unreasonable, you are judging her a bit harshly there.
If her comments irritate you, don't bother with her anymore. She has no right to comment on your life and it is simply not worth the agro of having it out with her.
I had a friend like this many years ago, I just cut her out off my life slowly. Some people are so unaware of what they say and how they say.
She sounds like a friend you could do without.
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