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to think if you have explosive diarrhoea......

(123 Posts)
ThePhantomPlopper Fri 25-Sep-09 10:41:49

In somebodies downstairs toilet and you pebble dash the seat, the rim AND the cistern you should either bloody well clean it up or say to your guest "I'm ever so sorry, but I seem to have shat half of the River Nile around your bathroom, I'm now a bit weak, would you mind cleaning it?"

It was not a pleasant experience walking into that this morning and it had been there since yesterday P.M (she was the only one to use that toilet) so it's stuck fast.

And yes I know I should be more sympathetic to people with diarrhoea but a warning would have been nice!!

BoysArrLikeDogs Fri 25-Sep-09 10:42:36


andgodcreatedwoman Fri 25-Sep-09 10:44:04


Who was this person?

Pinklett Fri 25-Sep-09 10:44:35

Eek....not to be invited again, that one, I would say. Good luck with the clean up (ammonia/bleach/disposable gloves?)

ThePhantomPlopper Fri 25-Sep-09 10:44:57

A close female friend.

andgodcreatedwoman Fri 25-Sep-09 10:46:43

I'm not even that close to dh! I'd never leave evidence like that.

Dirty girl.

pigletmania Fri 25-Sep-09 10:49:15

oh dear, she was probably embarrassed. though if i did that and have done in my house i have used the loo brush to clean up and have done my best with what resources ihad to clean up without telling the person whose house it was. My dh is very fussy about toilets and likes a nice clean one so i am always careful not to leave any evidence.

ZacharyQuack Fri 25-Sep-09 10:51:27

Yuck. Appropriate username, BTW wink

ThePhantomPlopper Fri 25-Sep-09 10:52:01

I don't want to clean it up, it's not mine!

I can understand she must have been embarrassed, but surely you would have attempted a clean up or at least given me a heads up!

diddl Fri 25-Sep-09 10:52:54

I would have cleaned as best I could and if not good enough would have asked for extra equipment.

(Possibly hoping host might say you´re obviously not well, go home & I´ll finish this blush)

pigletmania Fri 25-Sep-09 11:01:01

awww if she could have just told you if she was a good friend that the loo might need a bit of a clean, and tried her best to clean it and make it look a bit presentable.

pigletmania Fri 25-Sep-09 11:03:54

how the hell did she get it round the seat and the cistern, usually its just in the bowl and underneath the seat.

How odd, I would have cleaned as much as possible, but also warned you as I would be worried it was a bug, and if it was my house I would want to clean properly to prevent anyone catching it.

How long did she stay after spraying your bathroom with poo?

ThePhantomPlopper Fri 25-Sep-09 11:22:25

She stayed all night and baked fairy cakes with the DC. She was absolutely fine which I why I was so shocked when I walked into the toilet this morning!

I don't want to imagine how she managed to splatter it around the cistern. <boak>

Have hidden the fairy cakes just incase.

VindalooBungalow Fri 25-Sep-09 11:25:45

Was she on Alli?

PeedOffWithNits Fri 25-Sep-09 11:26:17

disgusting! what is wrong with wiping it up with loo paper

are you SURE it was her....and are you going to say anything??

ThePhantomPlopper Fri 25-Sep-09 11:27:25

Is that the dieting pill? I don't think she's on anything like that.

EightiesChick Fri 25-Sep-09 11:29:46

Could she have a bowel condition, colitis or Chrohns for example? That way you might seem 'fine' but this might still happen (including reaching the cistern). Plus there's no need then to worry about a bug. Agree that you should make utmost efforts to clean up in someone else's house though. I will try and do this in public toilets too.

VindalooBungalow Fri 25-Sep-09 11:29:50

It would explain the explosive diarrhoea, afaik.

Total lack of manners, consideration and cleanliness are, however, down to her parents grin

ThePhantomPlopper Fri 25-Sep-09 11:31:09

Definitely her. DH away with the Navy, DS is 3 and supervised on the toilet, DD in nappies and I'd remember sitting on that!!

I'm quietly fuming but I wouldn't want to embarrass her by mentioning it. Her personal hygiene isn't the best anyway so leaving that in someone's toilet is possibly no biggy for her.

PeedOffWithNits Fri 25-Sep-09 11:33:46

what kind of a state is her OWN loo, don't tell me <shudders>

ThePhantomPlopper Fri 25-Sep-09 11:34:18

I was thinking she might have IBS or something, she has a huge list of health issues which is why I don't really want to bring it up.

I'm plucking up the courage to go clean it.

VindalooBungalow Fri 25-Sep-09 11:39:14

Oh feck - just reread your OP...

She hit the cistern ?




expatinscotland Fri 25-Sep-09 11:39:38

Thanks for this! I was just about to shove a Mars bar down my throat but now I've lost my appetite.

pigletmania Fri 25-Sep-09 11:40:26

Aww really feel for the poor person in question, hope she is not a Mumsnetter, I bet she would be mortified that her toilet habits was a topic of discussion on Mumsnet. Cut her some slack, if she is a good friend just let it go friendship is worth more than that, and mabey provide anti bacterial wips that are visable in your loo and bleach.

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