to be upset over nutella

[lemonadesparkle]

DC 3(so not pfb) has just started Yr R and stayed for lunch at school today for the first time. DC is allergic to many things including nuts and has epipens (2 at school, one in the bag that goes everywhere and 2 at home - so basically covered at all times). School are aware of all the allergies and what this might mean and have reassured me that the dinner staff have all been informed and that school is nut free anyway.

So, mummies had been asked to accompany their children for lunch today as part of the settling in period. There was a brief talk at the beginning reitterating what was and wasn't allowed in packed lunches and then we all sat down to eat. The mummies chatted and amongst other things discussed the non permissable foods only for one parent whose dc was sat next to mine announce that her child was having nutella sandwiches Surely the clue is in the name "NUTella" !!!!! I tried not to be overconcerned and moved dc further down the table to try and prevent contamination but I am extremely worried that had I not been there dc could have had an anapylactic reaction on the very first day having lunch at school

AIBU to be upset about this and perhaps speak to school again and request that they send out a letter clearly stating that nuts are incredibly dangerous for my child and that includes Nutella?

[HerBeatitude]

No you're not unreasonable.

God some people are just thick.

[thisisyesterday]

omg, if i were you i think i would have pointed out that your child has a severe allergy and seen what she said then!

i would def have a word with the school again

[2shoes]

yanbu

[LuluMamaaaaarrrrr]

YANBU

nut free has to mean nut free for everyone, and nutella has got nuts in

other mum may have thought it was just chocolate though?

not unreasonable to speak to school about it

some people who have no experience of allergies/anaphylaxis don't always get how dangerous it can be and don't take it seriously

at the DCs school, there is a pic of each child who has an allergy, what there allergy is and their care plan , right by the dining hall and we get a new anaphylaxis care plan every school year and piriton and epipens kept on site with a list of which staffed are trained to use them

it's really important

[diddl]

Does that mean that all the children in your sons class can´t have nuts/anything that might have been in contact with nuts in their lunches?

[bruffin]

YABU
My ds is allergic to nuts, I wouldn nevert get upset aboput other children having nuts.
The Anaphylaxis campaign advice is not to ban nuts in school

[charis]

I have to admit that it might not have crossed my mind. Perhaps you could ask the school to send another note home with some helpful hints?

[diddl]

Why must it be nut free for everyone?

[LuluMamaaaaarrrrr]

nuts , as a food group, are not essential, there are a myriad of sandwich fillings that children could be offered, cheese, ham, roast beef, chicken, tuna, egg mayo , it's not like you'd struggle if you could not give nutella or peanut butter, so i don't think it's unreasonable to ask parents not to give nutty sandwich fillings or otehr foods during the school day

[LuluMamaaaaarrrrr]

what if a child swaps sandwiches or takes a bite of another child's lunch and has an anaphylactic reaction?

i think that when children have potentially fatal or very serious allergies, then it is not unreasonable to ask other parents to avoid exposing them to risk

[OldLadyKnowsNothing]

I think the allergic child needs to learn not to swap sandwiches etc. One day, they'll be out on their own, after all, and need to know not to pick up a Snickers.

[Northernlurker]

I can see this is very alarming for you and school having made a promise to you should be keeping it BUT your son's situation and the consequent fact that you want school to be nut free does limit the choices and activities available to all the other kids. Not perhaps in any significant way, nothing they can't live without but I think you do need to accept it will take a bit of time to get things as you need them to be and the school environment may never be universally safe for your ds - neither is the wider world in this sense. I am not unsympathetic to your situation but I do think you need to rein in your ire a little bit in this scenario.

[ZZZenAgain]

the parents have been given a list of inacceptable food items and this includes nuts in any form?

The nutella mum had seen this list beforehand, ie before preparing the lunch?

I think of nutella more as a chocolate spread tbh. So is the class going to get another note about that, also specifýing no nutella, is that what you'd like?

I have to say I find it a bit strange that all dc have to be nut-free but have not ever been in your situation, worrying about ds' reactions

[diddl]

Sorry, but I don´t think the whole class should have to avoid nuts/nut products etc.

There are many other sandwich fillings they can eat, and on the rare occasion that one of them might want nutella or peanut butter, I think they should be allowed to have it, TBH.

[GirlsAreLOud]

YANBU. I cannot imagine the stress and worry of having a child with an allergy like your poor DS.

I'm sorry this happened on his first day, must be such a worry for you

[bruffin]

LULUMAMA
Children who have nut allergy who have been taught properly about nut allergy don't swop and ask about everything
The advice of Anaphylaxis Campaign is

"ome schools choose to enforce ?nut bans?, where it is forbidden for any pupil to bring the problem food to school. However, without wishing to undermine the good intentions of any school taking this approach, The Anaphylaxis Campaign believes there are several pitfalls in this approach. It would be impossible to provide an absolute nut-free guarantee so the danger is that allergic children may be led into a false sense of security. There is a strong case for arguing that food-allergic children will gain a better awareness of their allergies, and learn avoidance strategies, if they move in an environment where allergens may turn up unexpectedly."

[LuluMamaaaaarrrrr]

yes, i agree with all that, i have a ds with a nut allergy who does ask and does know not to swap etc BUT i as as parent , feel a lot happier when he is at school, knowing that he is not going be at risk.

i don't think that is unreasonable, nor does it excuse teaching children as is suggested

but as i pointed out , nuts are not something that are impossible to manage without for the shcool day

i don;t have to agree with the campaign

[thisisyesterday]

i guess the problem is that enforcing a "nut-free" policy in school only means that children don't bring in food containing nuts.

it doesn't stop them having peanut butter for breakfast
it doesn't stop them bringing in items that may have been made in a factory alongside nuts
it doesn't stop them having traces of nuts on any number of things

if your child has a contact allergy then i guess any of these things could trigger a reaction, and as the anaphylaxis campaign poitns out, it gives you a false sense of security.

[bruffin]

My child/dh have nut allergy as well lulumama

[GirlsAreLOud]

If a four year old is old enough to learn to avoid taking food from anyone else (even when it's disguised as chocolate) then another four year old is surely old enough to learn that sometimes we need to sacrifice things for the good of someone else?

Personally, I think four is pretty young to avoid the temptation of tucking in to any tempting looking food when it presents itself - would rather the adults took responsibility in this kind of situation.

[Tombliboobs]

YANBU, unless the mother knew about the recent change in advice and waging a one woman campaign against a nut free policy, which doesn't seem likely! It is, however, more likely that she is just being irresponsible and very, very naive ( a kind way to put it)

[LuluMamaaaaarrrrr]

ok bruffin, but that does not mean that we have to agree , does it? does not mean that eitehr of us are wrong, it is just our opinoins

the OP asked if she was being unreasonable, i don't think she is

[Northernlurker]

Can I also just guiltly admit that this thread has made me want some Nutella so much I had to go and get some on toast

[bruffin]

I don't think it is a recent change in advice.

[katiestar]

Nuts are very important for vegan children.
Personally i think schools have to step up and take responsibility and SUPERVISE allergic children properly rather than banning 300 children from eating anything containing nuts.i don't see why allergic children can't be regarded as having a special need so that the school can get a bit of extra funding.Or why don't they just have them eat lunch at a separate table.They did this at one of my DCs old schools where they had a child who was allergic to dairy products.