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to have wanted to slap a mother in Primark today?

(49 Posts)
SqueezyCheese Thu 24-Sep-09 18:24:16

She had 2 children, aged probably about 2 (girl) and 4 (boy). The 2 year old was in a buggy and screaming blue murder. The wee boy was being dragged by the mother all the way thru the shop screaming his head off. The mother slapped him from one end of the shop to the other. The boy screamed even more and she continued to slap him and shout at him to "shut up, you're embarrassing me, stop screaming like a girl". The poor wee guys face was bright red, the more she hit, the more he cried sad sad

I was in a really irritable mood anyway but I felt a HUGE MASSIVE surge of anger at this woman. I honestly felt like going right over slapping her and saying "how the fuck do you like it?". I felt it was not my business though and shot her a very dirty look instead. Not that it bothered her one bit as she kept on.

Honestly. What would anyone else have done in that situation. I am home now and am still thinking about that little boy being dragged and slapped. Should I have done something?

FabBakerGirlIsBack Thu 24-Sep-09 18:25:47

Yes, you should.

You should have pointed out to her what she was doing was unnecessary and unacceptable.

GypsyMoth Thu 24-Sep-09 18:26:26

aww poor little man. well nothing you could've done that would improve his life i guess,she might just take it out on him more later on..

SqueezyCheese Thu 24-Sep-09 18:29:23

Oh don't say that Tiffany, I feel bad enough sad

I wish I had said something.

cornsilk Thu 24-Sep-09 18:30:35

She may well have taken it out on him if you had. sad

shinyshoes Thu 24-Sep-09 18:31:16

I would have said something but people like that don't see reason and she probably would have thumped you.

Don't beat yourself up about it there's nothing you can do about it.

Tidey Thu 24-Sep-09 18:31:46

Try not to feel too guilty, I know it's horrible but it sounds like she was very stressed and angry and it probably would've only resulted in you getting hit as well.

FabBakerGirlIsBack Thu 24-Sep-09 18:32:52

I disagree. I expect she only hits her kids and wouldn't hit someone who could stand up for themselves.

GypsyMoth Thu 24-Sep-09 18:32:57

thats what i meant cornsilk. sadly,mums like her are everywhere!

cocolepew Thu 24-Sep-09 18:34:42

My friend saw a woman slapping her small child in the shopping center last week, she had completely lost her temper and her friends were standing laughing. My friend went up and shoved her and told her to hit her and see what happened. The woman was so shocked she just looked at her, then her and her friends laughed and walked off, using a few choice words. My friend was embarassed by what she'd done but she said at least the woman stopped hitting her son.

SqueezyCheese Thu 24-Sep-09 18:37:27

OK, I am not hard by any means but I would have taken a slap for that wee lad. It was awful. Other people looked but you know what it's like nowadays, people are too scared to get involved.

curiositykilled Thu 24-Sep-09 18:38:10

I think you should have done something but at the time it is difficult to know what to do because you are in shock.

I would have tried to grab the woman and said to her firmly "Look, you know hitting him like this is very unacceptable. Come and sit down and calm down a bit."

thesunshinesbrightly Thu 24-Sep-09 18:40:08

Really?? omg poor little boy

junglist1 Thu 24-Sep-09 18:40:38

Stupid cow. If both kids are screaming maybe they need a sit down and a drink??? God knows how long they'd been traipsing around for.

deaddei Thu 24-Sep-09 18:41:21

And I bet the "member of security" was
cowering at this desk by the front door as usual.

GypsyMoth Thu 24-Sep-09 18:45:07

yeah but she might have been so embarassed by a confrontation,got home,re lived it in her mind.....and behaved worse to the poor little boy. in a 'look what trouble you caused me' kind of way

smokinaces Thu 24-Sep-09 20:03:57

curiosity, I love this bit

"I would have tried to grab the woman and said to her firmly "Look, you know hitting him like this is very unacceptable. Come and sit down and calm down a bit."

I could so have been this woman a few weeks back. It didnt matter how many rests or snacks my sons had they constantly screamed and fought all round the shops. I had to go shopping as I had no clothes for either of them that fitted. It all came to a head when my 3yr old ran full force into the 1yr old in the pram and headbutted him. I admit I smacked him, and I do smack my children (they both got smacks today, but I cant remember when they last got them, maybe 2 months ago?)

If someone had done what curiosity has said, I probably would have burst into tears and thanked them - I have been through a rubbish few months and am going through counselling for everything, including the way I parent - but to you guys I must look like the devil incarnate still.

But if anyone had come and shoved me or smacked me I would have honestly punched them, as that would be the complete wrong way of dealing with it.

You may not agree with smacking but it is not illegal yet. Ok, on the head/leaving with items. But standard smacking and shouting is not illegal, and if she chooses to parent this way it is up to her.

I know there are some crap mothers out there, but you honestly cant judge someone on one bit of their lives.

I will never forget the lady who stopped me in asda when the boys were having a bad bad day and I was almost in tears - she patted me on the arm and said "dont worry, they are hard at this age, but it does get easier, you are doing a good job" - that really helped me. Someone coming up to me rudely questioning my parenting would have made me spiral downwards more.

GypsyMoth Thu 24-Sep-09 20:06:38

i haven't had the screaming yet from my youngest,but he drives me nuts in another way!!!
does anyone elses deliberately put their little feet on the wheels so you can hardly push or veer off course??
going through this phase at the moment

pigletmania Thu 24-Sep-09 20:09:05

IMO there is nothing wrong with a smack it never did me any harm i dont think i am emotionally abused by it, but to be smacking constantly is unacceptable.

PrincessToadstool Thu 24-Sep-09 20:14:25

Actually pigletmania I beg to differ, if being smacked has made you think it's okay then it HAS done harm.

It is NOT okay to smack someone half your size because you can't be arsed to deal with it properly.

OrmIrian Thu 24-Sep-09 20:15:36

Personally I think it's the attitude of dislike and aggression that would upset me as much as the smacking. To feel so disliked by your own mother sad.

And beleive me I have been so tempted at times. SHopping is a vile activity designed to bring the worst out in anyone.

vickiadele Thu 24-Sep-09 20:22:11

I understand when mums can lose it with there children but some go to far, my sister hit my nephew on the top of the head, threw him against the wall of the lounge and he was frightened of her so much, my mum and i had to threaten her with social services and we spoke to her partner to get him to keep an eye on it, since then she has had another child but seems to of calmed down now thank god

staroftheweek Thu 24-Sep-09 20:29:07

Smokinaces - Thats a point well made.

ElieRM Thu 24-Sep-09 20:35:50

I don't think you should feel bad for not intervening. We all see these things, decide against getting involved because we're worried about the reaction, then wish we'd done something later.
That is appalling though. And from the OP, it sounds like repeated whacking rather than 'a smack.' She needs serious help with her parenting.
Poor little mites.

SqueezyCheese Thu 24-Sep-09 20:38:54

Smokin - your post really made sense and I'm sure there was a thread a while ago about this sort of thing where nice people intervened and calmed the situ and I think that is lovely.

It is just so hard to know what to do. One part of me said that probably the mum had a really bad day but the other part of me thought that it was completely out of order no matter what kind of day she had.

Maybe I'm wrong but I got the feeling that it wasn't a one off stressful day. It felt as if the mum didn't have any other coping mechanism and that it was a regular thing. I dunno why I got that feeling, maybe because although she was 'saying' she was embarrassed, the fact that lots of people noticing didn't make any difference whatsoever.

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