to be annoyed when my friends come round to dinner and immediately put their own CD on MY stereo?

[PuppyMonkey]

We have some good friends down the road who often pop over for something to eat, and we often go to theirs.

When we go there, they always have some whacky and marvellous new CD on the go, blasting out of the stereo. No probs, it's their house.

But then, when they come to ours, they have always brought some of the said whacky CDs with them. Which they immediately put in our stereo and start playing. Without asking or anything. Usually some shitty dance tracks that I can't stand. I have told them I hate this kind of music. DP is not that bothered by this habit.

The other night they came round, and we had our iPod on shuffle - perfect as background music for a nice chilled out dinner party, I thought. Some good classic tracks. They arrived and we greeted each other and I turned round to get them drinks. Next thing I knew, our music had gone and out came some horrible racket that they'd brought. I was a bit with them and told them actually I had been enjoying OUR music and out it back on. And they were a bit: "Ooooh, who rattled your cage?" DP was not bothered either way.

I am probably sad and out of touch with social etiquette these days - but is this quite the done thing?

This is not a life or death thing and they are very good mates - we will not be fatally falling out over this. Just interested to see what you lot thought.

[Pinkmist]

I'd never change someone elses music in THEIR house. But I've got manners!

[Tillyscoutsmum]

YANBU - very bad manners imho

[JamesAndTheGiantBanana]

It would never occur to me to do that, and I'd be quite peeved if someone came round and did it at mine without asking, especially if they turned off my music to do so.

Strikes me that they sound like smug types who perhaps feel like their taste in music is vastly superior to yours and they're "educating you" by bringing a CD round. Showing off, basically! Don't blame you for putting your music back on. Shame your husband isn't on side, bet he would be if they were sticking on country and western!

[Feierabend]

This makes me laugh - what an odd thing to do. They clearly think you have no taste in music . Can you try to see it as a funny quirk of theirs rather than getting annoyed?

BTW, I like to eat my dinner without any background noise music.

[TheBalladofGayTony]

freeaks, they are probably saddos who think the fact they listened to jonathan peel in teh eighties alot means theyare fabulously cool and listening to anything that has sold more than 100 copies will make their ears bleed.

[PuppyMonkey]

Oh good, I was beginning to doubt myself as DP is genuinely not bothered by them doing it at all. I do think they are quite smug about them having "cooler" taste in music than us. As I said though, it's all dance and American RnB. I like Indie music (and naff 70s and 80s stuff for a laugh )

I wouldn't mind if they just asked me first or we had expressed an interest in hearing some new stuff!

I don't get out much these days, so didn't know whether it was the new trend.

[gagamama]

I think it's fair game to select some tracks to add to the playlist if the music is coming via iTunes/Spotify (as it does in this house!) but just shoving a CD into your stereo when you already have music playing, unless it's a CD they know you were desperate to hear, is a but weird IMO!

I wouldn't be friends with anyone who listened to dance music, let alone allow them to pollute my home with it. And who the hell buys CDs these days anyway?!

[TheBalladofGayTony]

do they wear stupidly expensive jeans and have silly hair?

[PuppyMonkey]

Yes, gagmama they don't do ipods - how uncool is that???

Otherwise, though, they are quite lovely normal people, no pretentious designer clothes at all. Strange!!

[claw3]

You are obviously good friends with them for them to feel comfortable enough to come in and put their music on. Being good friends, they then shouldnt take offence when you tell them to turn that s**t off!

I have a freind who walks through the door, out into the kitchen and puts the kettle on and helps herself to biscuits. I dont mind at all because that is the kind of informal friendship we have.

[TheHeadbangingWombat]

YANBU.That's incredibly rude.

And I still buy some cds. I had an I-pod but I can't download my favourite band's songs so I sold it.

[claw3]

That reminds me, we were having a birthday bbq for my son last summer and we were playing some cd's. My neighbour stuck her head over the fence and gave me one of her cd's!

I put it on, all dance music, took it out, handed it back to her and politely told her it was crap.

[lisianthus]

[claw3]

Damn ive been busted, Lisianthus are you my neighbour!

[PuppyMonkey]

At least she handed it to you claw, rather than walking into your house and just putting it on!! What it is about terrible dance music that irks so much???

[claw3]

PM- Probably the fact that im 40 and my raving days are over!

[groundhogs]

[sharp intake of breath emoticon]

Bloody hell, I swear I'd be mortally offended, i'd actually never have them round to my house again... No, really, they'd never set foot in my house again!

[zipzap]

Just see what happens next time you go to their house and walk in and change the cd to something you like (having ensured to bring something that you like and you suspect they don't or won't admit to at any rate)...

if they get narky about it then they were doing it to impress you, if they don't mind then they were probably just wanting to share music

[Dianne35]

lol - this reminds me of a pretentious boyfriend one of my pals had who used to bring CD's round to our house, remove whatever was playing and put his crappy CD on. He was a Kiwi and seemed to feel that we needed an education in Kiwi music.....however he didn't actually have the first clue about music and insisted that The White Stripes (unfortunately not on his naff CD's) were from New Zealand....

[PuppyMonkey]

groundhogs.... I'm not THAT annoyed. Just quite annoyed....

Did anyone else also have a boyfriend who compiled tapes of music for them like mine all did? Again, it really quite pissed me off as if they were saying my existing taste in music was not quite good enough, so they had compiled some better stuff for me to listen to.

Then again, perhaps my taste in music IS terrible!!! That's why this keeps happening to me. Sigh. Oh well.

[moondog]

Take a Chris de Burgh CD to theirs next time nad slip it in completely straight faced.

[PuppyMonkey]

What makes you think I actually have a Chris de Burgh CD to take, moondog?

I do actually . DP's though not mine!

[moondog]

rofl

[pigletmania]

YANBU, its your house after all, how rude and presumptious of them. I would ask if i could play my cd not just put it in, and if the answer is no then so be it i will put it on at home.

[booyhoosboydoesntwearpants]

well, my taste in music is quite dire BUT i was still put out when my best friends then bf (now husband) who i do really get on with used to do that in my house. he was into rap quite heavily and alot of the stuff was unsuitable for young ears (ds was here). i used to just flick through my cd collection as if i was browsing and then select something i wanted to listen to. this usually went on throughout the evening so i never did win. but i have to say, i do think it was part of the reason we fell out for a while because they started taking liberties in my house.

i would just say, "what rubbish have you brought now?" and then go and change it.