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to have wanted a hug, not a shouting match?

(7 Posts)
juicy12 Wed 23-Sep-09 20:33:51

Got a call from the bank this evening to tell me that, for the first time in about 20 yrs, I've gone over my overdraft limit blush I had to leave work about 18 mnths ago, when DD was 15 months cos my T&C changed so drastically, I couldn't stay there. DH and I agreed that it would be a good opportunity for me to retrain and spend time with DD and DS. In reality, having to leave my job has hit me like a bullet train and totally destroyed my confidence. So, from being used to always having my own money, i now have to rely on DH for everything. He doesn't want to have a joint account, so pays money into my current account. Anyway, told him the bank news and he just had a massive go at me, telling me how pathetic I am, need to get over losing my job, get a grip etc. I told him I feel pretty shit at the moment and not very happy, to which he told me that it's "all about me" and I need to grow up. Just wanted him to give me a hug really and look after me sad. so, do I need to grow up, get a grip? HE does work really hard, so I guess he's got a point. Everything seems too confusing and like wading through treacle tbh.

SqueezyCheese Wed 23-Sep-09 20:38:44

Oh everyone makes mistakes and it's not the end of the world. So you're not perfect, but neither is he. Tell him not to sweat the small stuff smile


overmydeadbody Wed 23-Sep-09 20:40:46



Sometimes a sympathetic ear and some affection are all you need. The overdraft thing is don now, nothing having a go at you will sort out.

juicy12 Wed 23-Sep-09 20:42:35

Thank you for replying. Wish I could wave a magic wand sometimes. Just feeling a bit ashamed, but don't need to be made to feel any worse!

BustleInYourHedgerow Wed 23-Sep-09 21:21:05

HUgs for You Juicy Hopefully try to talk it out, he will realise that he was unreasonable. Prob just a bad day at work and talking it out on you

ThatVikRinA22 Wed 23-Sep-09 21:21:32

awwww no thats not on. see if you can plead with the bank to get the charges down if it doenst happen very often.
is it possible to work again anytime soon? might be a big confidence boost and earn your own money again, even just a part time job?
and your DH sounded a bit OTT.

juicy12 Thu 24-Sep-09 12:26:35

Thank you for your wise words. DH left for work this morning and not a word passed between us, so we need to talk tonight! DD starts nursery in February, which is when I'll start to retrain. He often reacts like that when it's a financial thing, gets really het up and shouty unfortunately.

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