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to wonder if I'll ever be an organised mum...

(16 Posts)
sleepytime Wed 23-Sep-09 19:12:31

Is it just me or is it really hard to keep on top of everything? I work two days a week and have a 6 and 2 yo. All the other mums I know seem so much more organised, houses look lovely, not show-homey but clean and tidy whereas I just always feel behind with it all. Constantly seem to be putting loads of washing away, cleaning up, tidying up etc trying to spend enough good time with the kids and it never seems enough. It's making me feel quite miserable actually. Just wondered if any other mumsnetters had tips or routines that really work. God knows what i would do if I worked full-time. Thanks for any advice.

8oreighty Wed 23-Sep-09 19:15:34

This is EXACTLY how I feel (sorry for use of caps - probably flagging me up as a 'newbie' but thought needed). I wonder if everyone feels this way though? It's a losing battle all this tidying, never understood the saying "a woman's work is never done" until it dawned on me while I was doing the washing. I always have a vague hope that if I get everything in order it will be done...forever put away. But it's just an endless cycle. I think it's why so many women get depressed. I think if you're feeling down, stop cooking or cleaning or whatever and stop and read a story with your kids...they dont' care about the state of the house. As long as the basics are sorted, just let go a bit.

chocolatefudgebrownie Wed 23-Sep-09 19:21:17

Same here! Just lower your standards and forget about what anyone else thinks! It doesn't really matter as long as the dc's and you are happy.

8oreighty Wed 23-Sep-09 19:24:10

Also it's not good to compare yourself to others as everyone cleans up a bit before someone comes over - right? I know I do...no one sees the real chaos we live in.

sleepytime Wed 23-Sep-09 19:27:12

Thanks for your responses...I think I just naturally want to be really organised but fall rather short of it in practice! I'm still perplexed as to how others do it. It's not that I expect the house to be perfect (ha ha!) but just that if I could get into a routine whereby I just get stuff done more/dinners cooked etc efficiently. Was even thinking about getting up early to get some stuff done but then somehow come the alarm bell I'm not so keen... grin Do people have routines that work for them? Please share if you do!

hambo Wed 23-Sep-09 19:28:28

It is constant constant constant...The thing which is so boring/depressing is that 5 minutes afetr you have done the task, the identical task needs doing. (think cleaning potty; cleaning dishes; putting on/hanging out /putting away laundry)

What about doing some gardening? If you mow the lawns or weed at least you feel some accomplishment and it takes a week or two to need doing again!

sleepytime Wed 23-Sep-09 19:30:57

couldn't agree more hambo

pjmama Wed 23-Sep-09 19:47:41

You just described my life to a tee!! wink

McDreamy Wed 23-Sep-09 19:49:01

and mine smile, and also how I feel! sad

8oreighty Wed 23-Sep-09 19:52:41

Helps if you try to do the same thing the same way every day. So I always unload the dishwasher in the morning, load it late at night, that kind of thing. Then although tedious and boring you can just do it without thinking. Sometimes I pretend I am my own cleaner (sad) and give myself two hours to clean the house...that can be satisfying.
I also always leave the kitchen sorted and clean before I go to bed, nothing worse than a mess in the morning. Otherwise I just rush around cleaning if anyone is coming over.

Portofino Wed 23-Sep-09 20:01:10

I DO work FT, but only have one dc. I have to admit the place looks tidy MOST of the time as DH is only 5 mins from his office and HE does it before he goes to work! grin

I do struggle to keep up with the ironing, and there is DUST. Not sure if I have handy hints....keep toys in one room and tidy once a day only.

messalina Wed 23-Sep-09 20:27:47

I agree - lower your standards and think about what is really important to you. I don't like things being really untidy so whilst I would not describe myself as a neat freak (at least not at home; I am at work), I do start to get mildly hysterical when things like the washing up haven't been done and piles of mail are sitting around. I have to have a major blitz then, but generally I try to keep on top of mess on a daily basis. BUT I have hilariously low standards when it comes to ironing (i.e. I NEVER, EVER do any) and cleaning (I have a very efficient cleaner who comes once a week so I don't clean any more.) I think that people notice whether the house is tidy rather than whether it is spotlessly clean or whether the clothes in your drawer are beautifully ironed or not. Or at least, mess is what I notice so that's what I focus on getting a handle on. The thing I am really rubbish at is getting good deals on things and am always amazed that people have done things like save up vouchers. To my shame, even though I am a teacher, I don't collect the active kids vouchers because it would be just one more thing to do. And the only things I ever seem to shop around for are car insurance and plane flights. I haven't checked the gas meter in at least 18 months. But my theory is that I would rather do a few things well (being mummy, my job, and being vaguely adequate as a wife, daughter and friend) and sod the rest. I could stop writing such long messages on Mumsnet though...then I could shop around for our broadband provider. But then again...zzz

Haylstones Wed 23-Sep-09 20:39:15

I like the swan approach- things can look really lovely and graceful on top but underneath there is lots of splashing around and legs akimbo.
This works in 2 ways- 1. People whose houses look effortlesly clean and tidy normally rush around when you're not there trying to keep it that way (and this is me blush

2. Even if things look tidy and clean, underneath they might not be, e.g a tidy kitchen means everything shoved in the dishwasher, a tidy bedroom means everything shoved in wardrobes/ floordrobes and under the bed. If anybody opened my dresser in the lounge they'd be bombarded by paperwork, hairbrushes and nappies.

I am a full time student with a PT job, a 1yo and 4yo and a workaholic dh- we get by with lots of intricate planning, tight diary organising and meal planning. Inearly always cook dinner during the day when ds is asleep or shove something in the slow cooker before going out in the morning.

ThatVikRinA22 Wed 23-Sep-09 21:28:42

so its not just me then....

im working full time at the min with two teens and a hubby, 2dogs and 2cats and the house just looks like whirlwind hit most days. right now im trying to ignore it all and concentrate on MN! seriously - i cant hoover or do anything noisy as DH works nights and is in bed, so im trying to ignore. i did do the bathroom tonight....it was starting to get to me. i could always decamp to it as its the only tidy room in the house.

Takver Wed 23-Sep-09 21:43:17

You need to know some different mums, sleepytime, I have a strict policy of only being friends with people whose houses are as chaotic as ours wink

nikki1978 Wed 23-Sep-09 22:04:24

I don't think you can ever get on top of it but good organisation helps and makes you feel better. I work one day a week and am also studying so need about 10 hours a week to do that. DD is at school but DS is only at nursery two mornings a week so I don't have loads of time to do things with no kids around. I like to make sure weekends are free time so I can spend time with DCs and DH without worrying about cleaning or shopping or studying. My weekdays are pretty packed out for this reason but at least I am don't feel like I have my nose to the grindstone 24/7. Weekly shop is always on Monday, I study on Tuesday and Thursday mornings and evenings (DS is at nursery on these mornings), do exercise on Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings (one hour before dinner), tidying up/cleaning is done on Monday and Thursday afternoons (obviously I do things as I go the rest of the week it helps to have 2-3 hours twice a week to do a proper job) and I work all day Wednesdays. Gives me time with DCs in the late afternoon and all weekend so don't feel I neglect them too much (apart from when I am on here grin). I also have a to do list on my PC of all the little things to do like bill paying etc and set up reminders on outlook as it is so easy to forget!

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