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to consider buying a friend a flute?

(31 Posts)
thedolly Tue 22-Sep-09 14:22:54

She used to play up to grade 8 when at school but her flute has since 'died'. Her DD (8) has started playing trumpet and is doing brilliantly but when I asked friend about how her flute playing was coming along I was shock to find out that she no longer owned one.

DH says that if she really wanted one she would buy one. I don't think it's as simple as that as sometimes other things/people take priority. Although, having said that she has just bought herself a green velvet coat (Boden).

So, what do you think?

gingernutlover Tue 22-Sep-09 14:24:14

hmmmm i would do a bit more digging if i was you, no point buying her one if she wouldnt use it.

Might be, she has lost interest for now.

MovingOutOfBlighty Tue 22-Sep-09 14:25:07

So amazingly nice of you - I play the flute and would be so touched. Only thing is, I think the good ones are quite expensive and the cheaper ones have a horrible tinny quality.

FluffySaysTheDailyMailsShite Tue 22-Sep-09 14:25:28

I wouldn't. It's too extravagant, they are expensive. If she wanted one she should get it herself.

claricebeansmum Tue 22-Sep-09 14:25:38

If she is a good friend and the money does not matter to you then I would. It would be a beautiful gift. However you can never resent spending the money on her.

A gift is about the thought - and this is a lovely thought. I gave my BF a peg bag - it's what she really wanted grin

LadyMuck Tue 22-Sep-09 14:25:42

Wouldn't she want to choose one herself? And how much were you planning to spend? A decent one isn't as cheap as a Boden coat.

Personally I would feel uncomfortable at that sort of extravagant but pointed gift. Unless of course she has gone on about how much she misses it.

twirlymum Tue 22-Sep-09 14:29:59

I made a passing comment years ago about fancying learning to play the base guitar. The following Christmas, dh was very pleased with himself for getting me a guitar, amp, and loads of 'teach yourself' books.
I think I played it twice blush

thedolly Tue 22-Sep-09 14:45:16

I thought about £250?

I have a 'music fund' to cover the cost of DDs instrument tuition but have so far managed to pay for lessons without needing to dip into it. I was thinking I could use that.

She played a lovely piece at my wedding so I suppose I'm a bit sentiment about it. She did sound sad when she told me that she know longer had one and I did jokingly say that I would buy her one. I was under the influence of a few glasses of wine at the time smile.

DoNotPressTheRedButton Tue 22-Sep-09 14:57:36

Whichever you decide, you do sound like a lovely friend!

thedolly Tue 22-Sep-09 15:05:33

I thought people would say it's a daft idea. So, if I'm to go ahead and buy one, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

<crosses fingers and hopes there will be some flute players along or that MovingOutOfBlighty will be back>

LadyMuck Tue 22-Sep-09 15:09:12

What ones have you looked at? Are you thinking of secondhand?

You may wish to find out what her former model was and see how close you can get. But £250 would only get you a beginners basic model if buying new.

AMumInScotland Tue 22-Sep-09 15:30:59

I don't know about flutes, but with many instruments (I only really know about violins...) by the time you get to Grade 8 you're looking at buying an individual unique instrument, which you have to try out for youself to get the feel and sound that you want. They are not all the same, even in a given price range.

We spent hours with DS helping him pick out his violin, then hours more on another visit for the bow - and believe it or not every one he tried sounded just slightly different.

WoTmania Tue 22-Sep-09 15:36:18

I'm out of touch with flute prices aatm but think that if you do get her a flute it would be a really lovely thing to do.
The only ting is I rarely play since DCs (but there are 3 of them under 4 so I may be a little more strapped for time) and if she doesn't get time to play she might end up feeling guilty.

purplepansy Tue 22-Sep-09 15:38:31

In my life BC I played the flute. No time now - it gets swallowed up doing other stuff. 250 quid is only going to get you a beginner quality instrument. I spent about 1000 quid on mine, and that was over 10 years ago.
Your DH is right - if she really wanted one, she'd have one.

stressedHEmum Tue 22-Sep-09 15:49:09

My DS1 plays the sax beyond G8 level at the mo. When we bought his instrument, he was playing at G5 and even then it took weeks of research, trying out instruments, taking expert advice, etc. and that was before we had to deal with mouthpieces, ligs etc. At the time, his sax cost well over £1500, plus another hundred for the mouthpiece and £50 for the lig and cap. Now he is looking at stepping up again but has to wait until he can afford to buy his own because, at the level he plays at, instrumentalists are looking for individual, professional standard instruments which suit the style of music that they want to play. For instance a Keilwerth sax has a very different sound to a Selmer or a Yaganisawa and a metal mouthpiece gives a completely different tone to an ebonite. Even the leather lig that DS1 uses contributes a different sound than his metal one. It's the same with flutes, really, although you don't have to worry about which kind of reeds give the most jazzy tone, or whether a gold plated mouthpiece gives a brighter sound than a brass one!

At this kind of level, an instrument is a very personal thing. It's impossible to choose for someone else and much more complicated than you imagine at the outset. It is a very lovely thought, but IMHO I don't think that it is very practical.

JustAnotherManicMummy Tue 22-Sep-09 16:05:26

I used to play the flute but since leaving school a over a decade couple of years ago I think I've played it twice.

I would like to join a band or an orchestra though as I really enjoyed playing with other people and it helped disguise the fact I am not very good!

Your friend may not want to play on her own. It can be a bit lonely not having anyone to share it with.

thedolly Tue 22-Sep-09 17:47:22

I just thought that it would be lovely for her DDs to hear her play, especially the older one as she is developing an interest in music making.

I was hoping to pick one up on ebay secondhand, what names should I look out for?

<bought DH a great 2nd hand accordion from ebay so is ever hopeful>

I am still at the thinking about it stage and appreciate your replies. I wouldn't want her to feel guilty if she didn't have the time WoTmania, I'd thought about that possibility too.

MaggieBeauLeo Tue 22-Sep-09 17:53:48

Are you my friend?!?!!?

I worked my ASSSSSSSSSSS off to get to grade 6 many years ago...So not as talented as your friend.

But when I left my x he threw my flute in skip. I'd love another, but don't feel I can justify the money right now.

I have bought a coat since i left but not a boden one!!

brimfull Tue 22-Sep-09 17:56:38

dd's flute cost nearly a grand

I would leave it to her,she'll want a decent one

JustAnotherManicMummy Tue 22-Sep-09 17:58:27

Why don't you ask her why she got rid of it and tell her you were wondering because you enjoyed her playing at your wedding so much?

MaggieBeauLeo Tue 22-Sep-09 17:59:27

yes, maybe a few comments like that would make her feel she should buy another (one day).. that it would be a justified expenditure.

JustAnotherManicMummy Tue 22-Sep-09 18:03:21

Good thinking MaggieBL. Gosh aren't we mean to ourselves some times that we have to think of reasons to give ourselves a treat but wouldn't think twice if it was for the DCs or DH?

I think you sound a lovely friend btw thedolly.

Tinfoil Tue 22-Sep-09 18:33:55

I think it's a lovely idea and very kind of you

ShellingPeas Tue 22-Sep-09 18:58:32

It is a lovely idea but...

a decent entry level flute for a beginner up to grade 5 will cost you at least £350. If your friend is at grade 8 level she would need something rather better - probably with at least a solid silver headjoint, which means a price tag of closer to £900. A professional level, solid silver bodied flute is priced in the thousands so they are not cheap instruments.

My own flute is a Pearl, there are also good flutes by Yamaha, Trevor James, Gemheindhardt and others. Please avoid flutes from China as they are, generally, of poor quality.

alwayslookingforanswers Tue 22-Sep-09 19:02:38

I bet she isn't GD8 now.

Speak from experience - I have kept up my organ playing since leaving school, however it's only Sunday morning type stuff and I'm probably more like a Grade 5/6 standard now - long gone are the days when I could play Messiaen like a pro

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