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to be angry/confused at DH

(63 Posts)
mcfly79 Mon 21-Sep-09 21:31:33

here goes,my very first AIBU post

Bought 2 tickets to a gig for DH's b'day,this coming Sunday.The gig is in my hometown so the plan is/was I will be staying with my parents Fri,sat,sun with dd and DH is supposed to drive down Sunday,see the show and drive home the same night.

He is now saying we are struggling for money so he is'nt coming.

I have tried to explain to him that the tix are paid for so all the money we will need is for petrol(got £20 tip at work so that would cover it) and that if he does not come down I will have to get train/bus with 8 week old DD(nightmare in itself) which will cost the same or more than the bloody petrol!!!!!!

AIBU to be so pissed off as we NEVER get to do anything as a couple,we have BOTH wanted to see this gig for ages and he just won't bend on this

Georgimama Mon 21-Sep-09 21:34:15

Hmm. Why are you going away from Friday to Sunday if the gig is on Sunday? And if he doesn't come, are you still going to go away from Friday to Sunday?

You can see where I'm going with this. Sorry, sounds suspicious to me.

nigglewiggle Mon 21-Sep-09 21:36:29

It sounds like there is more to this?

But I would be very upset by his attitude as you seem to have gone to some trouble.

Is he really as keen to go to the gig as you?

AnyFucker Mon 21-Sep-09 21:37:33

how are you getting to your parents on the friday ?

I don't understand this at all

why would your dh back out of something that is meant to be his birthday treat ?

allaboutme Mon 21-Sep-09 21:37:35

It does sound a bit like you bought the tickets for yourself and it just happens to be on Dh's birthday!
You are having a break with your parents, will be away on DH's birthday but he is to drive all the way there and back in one night and give you a lift too!
It seems like a big effort for him to go to and especially if you are struggling to afford it..

LadyGlencoraPalliser Mon 21-Sep-09 21:37:49

So his birthday treat is that you go off to your parents for the weekend and he gets to come and drive you home? With the gig thrown in as a sweetener. Are you sure he is even keener on seeing it than you are? Because otherwise it doesn't sound like much of a birthday treat to me.

AnyFucker Mon 21-Sep-09 21:39:12


very apt username to contribute to this thread grin

TimothyTigerTuppennyTail Mon 21-Sep-09 21:39:15

I would say
"OK, if you don't go to the gig, you give me the money back for the tickets.
If you're not going there's no point in me going so don't think you're going to spend the weekend getting pissed/laid."

I'd probably add "Twatface" or something similar on the end.

FarkinBarkin Mon 21-Sep-09 21:40:22

Sorry but it does sound like an odd way for your dh to spend his birthday. It sounds as though you're getting far more out of it than he is.

bigchris Mon 21-Sep-09 21:42:07

why isnt he coming for the whole weekend? is he working saturday?

mcfly79 Mon 21-Sep-09 21:42:50

Am going down earlier than him to let my folks spend some time with DD,as they have hardly seen her due to the distance(he is working)

Yes he was always as keen to see this gig (Billy Connolly)When tickets originally came out on sale he tried to get some himself for the Glasgow gig but they sold out in minutes.An extra date was announced for Dundee and my friend waited in the queue for hours to get tickets for us.

There really is no valid reason he has given me as the petrol money is covered by the tips I got on Saturday night

AnyFucker Mon 21-Sep-09 21:42:57

or, as Timothy says, turn it on his head

is the OP going to her parents so that he can go out and do whatever with his mates ?

a bit strange either way, tbh

come back OP, and tell us the real reason you are going to your parents

an you might just regret your 1st post on AIBU smile

mcfly79 Mon 21-Sep-09 21:45:03

Just to add, this gig isn't something I'd go to myself,got the tix for him as he seemed so dissapointed when he did'nt get them first time around

AnyFucker Mon 21-Sep-09 21:47:00

so why is he backing out ? Nobody believes tha lack of money scenario, FWIW

you are not giving us enough info

and also being irritating with it hmm

mcfly79 Mon 21-Sep-09 21:51:35

sorry if irritating, the lack of money thing is the ONLY reason he has given me which is why I cant understand it when he seemed so keen previously.

overmydeadbody Mon 21-Sep-09 21:53:07

yeah stop drip feeding

What are his plans for the rest of the weekend and how would he react if you said "ok darling, in that case I;ll stay too and we can spend the whole weekend together"

mcfly79 Mon 21-Sep-09 21:53:58

ALLaboutme-just to clarify gig is on Sunday not actual bday,thats in a couple of weeks,this was meant to be his present.

overmydeadbody Mon 21-Sep-09 21:54:02

What's he doing friday night and saturday?

What's changed to make him want to sta home sunday too?

AnyFucker Mon 21-Sep-09 21:56:44

McFly, it is perfectly possible for you to type more than one sentence at a time

In fact, if you don't, I predict that you will find yourself on your own on this thread pretty sharpish


mcfly79 Mon 21-Sep-09 21:56:48

That is honestly the whole story,
OMDB-am now thinking that he would rather have the day to himself without me and the baby,Actually would understand that but would prefer he just came out and said it rather than using the lack of funds as an excuse

DuelingFanjo Mon 21-Sep-09 21:58:48

I don't understand why everyone is giving the OP such a hard time. I'd be pissed off too. Why does everyone assume there must be more to this?

AnyFucker Mon 21-Sep-09 21:59:17

hokey-dokey then

he wants the whole weekend to himself

have you wondered about that ?

Georgimama Mon 21-Sep-09 22:01:17

Sounds like he'd rather have the whole weekend without you and baby, in which case what does he plan to do with himself?

At least four times you've been asked this and you haven't answered. Do you know what he plans to do? Why haven't you asked?

Spero Mon 21-Sep-09 22:02:16

ditto dueling. Seems a bizarrely snippish attitude about this.

McFly - I'd work with 'confused' rather than angry. is he being pissed off about the travelling and being a passive agressive twat about it? But does seem odd if he was v keen on the gig.

Why don't you suggest that you sell tickets on ebay and spend weekend together, if money is such a big problem.

AnyFucker Mon 21-Sep-09 22:03:48

< gives up and stomps off >

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