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AIBU?

to have let this upset me so much?

15 replies

backintraining · 21/09/2009 20:13

DS is 8 months old (just about). He was 7 weeks early and now weighs just under 16lb. He is quite long but very thin and obviously not like "normal" 8 month old babies... anyway, today I was at one of those soft play centres with a couple of friends. DS has just started sitting unaided so we were sat in this little area, minding our own business playing with a ball. There was this woman there with, I presume, her two DCs. DS was sat there and she said: "He's right small." AND THEN LAUGHED!!!!!!! I would love to know why people find it totally acceptable to comment on how small somebody's baby is. I wonder what she would have said had I commented on her DS and said: "Isn't he fat?" Sorry, just wanted a rant!!

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ElieRM · 21/09/2009 20:17

YANBU- How rude. Don't let it bother you .She sounds terribly ignorant. Am so pleased your DS is doing well, and will definately be better brought up then that silly woman's DCs.

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Hormonesnomore · 21/09/2009 20:24

My DD1 weighed just over 16lb when she was 9 months old. She was slim but I didn't think of her as too small (she was 6lb 3oz at birth), your DS sounds absolutely fine and the woman who commented is ignorant and rude - no wonder you were upset.

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MrsToffeeCrisp · 21/09/2009 20:31

YANBU - I don't know why people feel that have to make comments on a baby's size. I know one woman who tells me every time I see her how big my DS is compared to her DD. Usually "he's so HUGE". He is gorgeous and chunky but the way she reacts you'd think I was pushing Hagrid round in a buggy.

Wouldn't mind but I see her twice a day at the school gates!

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travellingwilbury · 21/09/2009 20:36

Some people just have to comment , I have no idea why but they just can't help themselves .

My second son was enormous (12.11 at birth) I remember when he was 3 days old my neighbour coming round and telling me how depressed she got because one of her children was 9 pound at birth and she really felt like she had never had the newborn thing with her . This is while holding my heiffer of a baby

I got comments for a long time but by the time he was 3 he was pretty much the same size as his cousin at the same age ( who was under 4 pound at birth)

Rant away

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BosomForAPillow · 21/09/2009 20:38

Lol at Hagrid in a buggy!

YANBU, the woman was very rude.

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TheProvincialLady · 21/09/2009 20:42

Ah it is no good if you let all the thick, tedious people get to you

Just imagine whacking her repeatedly about the mouth with a rancid kipper. If the sight of a smaller than average baby makes her laugh, she is either dangerously unstable or lacking in things to see/think about.

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DoingTheBestICan · 21/09/2009 20:42

Sorry hijack - travellingwilbury i love your name,they are my alltime fave band

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overmydeadbody · 21/09/2009 20:42

YANBU

Try not to let it bother you though, it is a reflection of the other person, not you.

I had a prem baby too, and he was jaundiced, and total atraners thought it acceptable to comment on his size and his colouring.

I laughed at some of them, like the teenager who said "oh my god, look at that baby's tan!!"

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travellingwilbury · 21/09/2009 20:45

Thanks Doing
Love your motto , mine would be
doing the least I can get away with

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DoingTheBestICan · 21/09/2009 20:50

Ha Ha! I love the Wilburys,could listen to them all day & night.

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moosemama · 21/09/2009 20:53

I have the opposite problem. Several people have recently told me what a big girl my 8 month old dd is. I'm not 100% sure exactly what she weighs at the moment, as being dc 3 I don't very often to get to clinic to have her weighed. She is however only in age 3-6 month clothes and is 'nicely chubby' but by no means fat. She has been following her growth curve nicely at just below the 25th centile since birth.

I even had one Mum at the school this afternoon telling me "Ooh, hasn't she got big, how old is she now? 8 months ah, well there you go, she's not a baby anymore is she?" wtf!!

This was because we were standing next to another mum who had a 6 week old with her. Well of course an 8 month old is going to look big compared to a 6 week old. It doesn't follow though that the 8 month old is big though does it?

We get the opposite with ds1 who has been just below the 9th centile since birth after being IUGR. He is 7 now and people still comment on how tiny he is compared to his peers. Believe me 7 year old boys do not appreciate being told they are tiny and cute! Even he knows its rude to comment on people's size and he's only a child fgs.

Babies are babies, big, small, medium sized it really doesn't matter, they are all beautiful and size doesn't come into it.

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crankytwanky · 21/09/2009 21:07

Lol at "baby's tan"!

Maybe the people commenting just thought your baby was cute. I wouldn't let it bother me, but then I have a mahoosive lad who people comment on. I think people still think a "bonnie" baby is desirable. Strange really, it's not like small babies are likely to become consumptive these days, and waste away.

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elmofan · 21/09/2009 21:20

hi , i have a post about something very similar n aibu at the moment , you should read through it as i got some great advice ,
yanbu .

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brettgirl2 · 21/09/2009 21:21

I think that the comment was probably just surprise that he did something that was too advanced for how old he looks?

TBH I think yabu - tiny is cuter surely? Why would you want some monster baby that puts your back out when you pick him up?

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backintraining · 22/09/2009 15:49

Thanks for your replies. Elmofan, I will indeed have a nosey on your thread.

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