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its my birthday but its ceased to be a special day

(22 Posts)
echofalls Mon 21-Sep-09 15:47:56

Its my birthday today, normal day really ds still wouldn't get up on time which meant rushing and shouting and me being late as I couldn't leave my normal time as he was faffing about. Had to take my other ds contract sim off him as he has gone over his minutes again and giving me an extra bill. We are totally skint so box of chocs for birthday from dd. My sd's havent rang or text me to say happy birthday. DH going out to his football training tonight as normal. Got the washing machine on and getting ready to made dinner. Same old ..... birthdays are days to be made a fuss off when you are younger and the older I get the more normal a day it becomes.

Come and slap me around the face and tell me to stop being such a misery guts.....

bigchris Mon 21-Sep-09 15:49:03

yanbu
youer dh should at least have cancelled footie and brought takeout home

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad Mon 21-Sep-09 15:51:02

YANBU. My birthday this year was shite - I was heavily pg (dd was born 5 days later) and dh didn't even bother getting me a present. sad I still feel upset about it now, which is a bit pathetic.

Can you do something for yourself to cheer you up?

msrisotto Mon 21-Sep-09 15:51:38

Do you do anything special/different for DH's birthday?

famishedass Mon 21-Sep-09 15:52:35

You're not being a misery guts but you are being a victim.

You need to make it quite clear to your dh that on your birthday the absolute minimum you expect from him is either to organise a babysitter and a drink out or if your finances won't stretch to that, then he needs to be there for the evening of your birthday, making a fuss of you, and cooking or organising a nice dinner for you. This is the bare minimum of course you can demand more smile

In my experience lots of husbands will do the absolute bare minimum they can get away with and it's up to us to refuse to accept it.

Happy birthday

echofalls Mon 21-Sep-09 15:52:43

glad someone agrees with me then smile My mum and sister coming over in a little while. My mil will be here soon and will stay for all of 10 mins but 10mins too long. Think I'm just pre menstrual too on a real downer

stellamel Mon 21-Sep-09 15:53:05

YANBU it's your bloody birthday, it's only once a year for pete's sake!

Your DH should be making more of an effort, I'm not suggesting diamonds and champagne, but like big chris said a take out and staying in with you is the very least he could do

btw HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

hullygully Mon 21-Sep-09 15:54:25

Birthdays are VERY important. Next year, make sure they all clearly understand that. And happy birthday for this one.

AvengingGerbil Mon 21-Sep-09 15:55:11

Don't care for birthdays myself - prefer to forget.

I do hold out for a cup of tea in bed on bB'day morning though...

echofalls Mon 21-Sep-09 15:55:28

I can kind of understand the football thing as he is the coach so its not something he can take a break from.

When its anyones birthday I always go to an effort and try my best. Dh rubbish at thinking of presents anyway he normally asks me what I want i'd really love him to think of something I'd love.

he has said we will go for a meal on Friday (pay day!!!!) so look forward to that

echofalls Mon 21-Sep-09 15:57:21

Thanks for the birthday wishes smile I appreciate it.

diddl Mon 21-Sep-09 16:09:14

Happy Birthday!

Similar here, TBH.

Although as long as everyone says "Happy Birthday" & I get a card from them, I don´t mind too much.

Spidermama Mon 21-Sep-09 16:14:03

<slap>

On my 40th, after years of failed birthdays, I finally realised once and for all that parents no longer get decent birthdays and was able to move on and stop trying.

We had to take all four kids to London for my birthday trip and I recall watching in horror as a pool of diahorrea grew under the high chair.

It has been a relief tbh because now I no longer try so I don't have the tension and inevitable failure.

BTW happy birthday. grin

stickylittlefingers Mon 21-Sep-09 16:24:49

Happy Birthday Dear Echofalls
Happy Birthday to You!

I think a little explanation is in order - i.e. a hug and a kiss and a I love you, happy birthday chuck don't cost anything, but can make the whole day seem better. I know it's difficult explaining that sort of thing to a man, but ime they can be quite grateful because they are genuinely a bit unsure of what to do! Bless 'em, some men are good at that sort of thing - some men are better in actions than words wink

I hope you have a fab time on Friday.

Happy Birthday!!

OrmIrian Mon 21-Sep-09 16:28:10

sad

It's shit isn't it.

However having been very fed up about this for a few years I now don't leave it to chance and organise my day as I want it.

gagamama Mon 21-Sep-09 16:34:41

Happy birthday echofalls!

I think in your situation I'd retire to the bath as soon as DH has left the house, with my box of chocolates, a glass of wine and the radio. My idea of bliss (but perhaps not everyone's).

Message withdrawn

tadjennyp Mon 21-Sep-09 17:34:34

I'm with gagamama on this, then maybe your dh can get in with you after his footie practice wink

echofalls Mon 21-Sep-09 17:39:16

smile

am feeling a bit better, dh came in from work and said he will bring a chinese home with him...have had a good old moan to anyone in vicinity and slammed phone down on my ex, but have come through the other side smile ex then sent me a text saying btw happy birthday moany and it made me laugh.

So yeah will be content with the kisses and hugs and get over myself.

half a box of chocs later and all is ok in the world.....

CheerfulYank Mon 21-Sep-09 17:45:27

Ah, chocolate. The solution to it all. Nice that your DH is bringing dinner home.

Birthdays were never a big deal in my DH's house, whereas my parents practically organized a parade for mine every year. DH and I are slooooowly learning to find a happy medium.

Happy Birthday, darling echofalls!

chickydee Mon 21-Sep-09 18:50:43

I sympathise totally, My birthday is on new years day and EVERY SINGLE YEAR ITS SHITE.

I probably don't need to explain too much why it's shite, but hangover, post christmas depression and everyone being skint are the main reasons!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU XXX

Portofino Mon 21-Sep-09 18:57:28

echo - we already met in the BBBAAARR, but my birthday has been very dull too - mostly made up of a IT training course. I am currently defrosting something from the freezer. But I do have wine! Get thee back to the BBBAAARR. We can talk about Pirate Sex or something til the chinese arrives!

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