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To think that this is a bit wrong?

(61 Posts)
SunshineAndKittens Mon 21-Sep-09 10:21:14

I'm currently expecting, so may be over reacting. Plus I do not have any actual children of my own.

A very good friend of mine had a baby 5months ago. She decided to breastfeed her as it is cheaper than formula.

However, 4 weeks into bf and she couldn't be bothered with it anymore. She wasn't having troubles with it, in fact she seemed to be a natural. But she wanted to get back to smoking and drinking. Which I suppose is fine, its her life etc.

So she puts baby on formula, it appears that she is still hungry after a feed so they double feed her, til she is sick (not sure if this is normal, because I have no baby of my own to compare with, or any friends with babies)

Anyway, it becomes clear that she is loosing some weight. So to bulk her up, they opt for feeding her the 'hungrier baby' formula. This seems to be doing its job, but hey are still double feeding her til she is sick.

When he was 8/9wks old, they started to feed her pureed fruit and veg. (I'm fairly certain this is wrong, but again have nothing to compare to, and am only going by what it says in baby books) I expressed my concern, about it being a bit early, but she says that because he is sooo hungry that this is the only way to keep him satisfied, so I don't know if thats right either.

When he was about 3 months old, the 'hungry baby' formula wasn't keeping him satisfied during the night, so they started to feed him cows milk. But they put a spoonful of sugar in it..... I asked if this would do damage to his teeth, but she says he swallows it straight away, and it doesn't touch his teeth. so he will be fine.

I wonder if I am being a nervous Nelly over nothing. Because I am currently looking after a bump and not a baby, I don't really know how things work iyswim.

I feel a bit daft, and think that maybe I am being unreasonable, and should probably just keep my nose out.

But wanted to ask...

TIA

katiestar Mon 21-Sep-09 10:23:47

Most of the stuff you describe is against advice .but the really dangerous thing is giving cows milk to a baby that young who can't digest it.

LeonieSoSleepy Mon 21-Sep-09 10:25:01

Message withdrawn

SunshineAndKittens Mon 21-Sep-09 10:25:34

Oops, just realised have called 'her' a him. My bump is blue you see and have got a bit confused blush

Katistar - when are babies able to digest cows milk?? When they are about 2??

pooexplosions Mon 21-Sep-09 10:25:58

Your friend is an imbecile. But there are plenty of them around and theres nothing you can do, so I wouldn't bother if I were you.
Don't take any advice she gives you though, on any subject.

thedollshouse Mon 21-Sep-09 10:26:18

Buy her a book on child development and refer her to the section on nutrition.

I'm not quite sure if this story is for real. You have painted a picture of them as lazy feckless parents and then you say that they have been feeding the baby pureed fruit and veg, I can't imagine such a couple being arsed with chopping up fruit.

I would also point them in the direction of the health visitor, if they are overfeeding the baby and yet she is still losing weight it sounds concerning.

kreecherlivesupstairs Mon 21-Sep-09 10:26:21

Feeding till the child is sick? WTF is that all about, and agree with katiestar that cows milk is a ridiculous idea. Could you gently advise your friend to talk to a HCP for some advice on satisfying his appetite?

bigchris Mon 21-Sep-09 10:27:11

yanbu
but not really sure why you posted? just to slag your friend? or to clarify how things should be done? maybe you need to read up before your little one is born xxx

SunshineAndKittens Mon 21-Sep-09 10:30:28

I don't see where I have painted them as lazy. Possibly just ill-informed. I don't think its very hard to put fruit in a processor

Her HV didn't show up to many of the appointments, so they were going by the 'ready steady baby' book they got from MW. But I don' think it says in there, about feeding the child cows milk.

I thought I was over reacting about what they were feeding her. My DH doesn't have aproblem with anything they feed her except the cows milk, he thinks the sugar in it is good for the baby, cos the baby will need her calories.

nancy75 Mon 21-Sep-09 10:32:09

this is a joke?

DoNotPressTheRedButton Mon 21-Sep-09 10:33:46

When a baby is losing weight, feeding them baby purees is bizarre- after all that's what we eat when we're trying to lose weight! Doesn't make sense at all.

And safe weaning is at 6 months by guidelines- even early weaners will usually acknowledge berore 4 months is tooe early (have had babies over a decade,so used to changing info wink though did do 6 months with last baby).

COws milk- arrghhh. I pray that works for her- have 3 on dairy free diets, if she thinks formula is expensive she should try catering for dairy free diets from intolerances! By feeding it early, she is theoretically raising that risk.

SunshineAndKittens Mon 21-Sep-09 10:36:45

bigchris - As i said in my op, because I only have books to go on, and no one near to me who has a baby. I wasn't sure about wether or not it is normal to feed your baby pureed fruit and veg at such a young age etc, I know cows milk is bad at such a young age, but what about teh sugar in it?

I wasn't intending to slag off my friend. I was merely trying to deduce whether or not it was normal to feed your child this way.

My DH doesn't see a problem with feeding the baby til she is sick hmm but I couldn't do that.

thedollshouse Mon 21-Sep-09 10:38:30

You have made a few comments SunshineandKittens that gives the impression that they are after an easy life.

"couldn't be bothered with breastfeeding"
Giving the baby a spoonful of sugar so she will sleep through the night.

I don't personally think it is very hard to put fruit into a processor (I did it), its just that the picture you have painted makes me imagine a couple who are after a easy life and processing food is a faff if you are that way inclined.

If this is for real, I think you need to butt in as they clearly have no idea.

SunshineAndKittens Mon 21-Sep-09 10:44:13

I see what you mean Dollshouse. I don't know if the things they are doing comes from laziness. They don't seem to have a problem pureeing(sp?) food for their baby, so don't know if that seems easier to them. I haven't got a scooby.

I don't know how to bring it up in conversation with her. I think its unlikely that she will listen to me since I don't have my own baby yet, so am going from stuff I've read in books.

pooexplosions Mon 21-Sep-09 10:47:44

You can buy pre-pureed fruit and eg though, if you can't be arsed wto do it yourself? hmm

thedollshouse Mon 21-Sep-09 10:52:35

I didn't mean that people who buy pre-pureed fruit are lazy pooexplosions. I just got the impression that this couple wouldn't be bothered with the faff of processing food. I'm not explaining myself very well this morning. blush

When I had ds 5 years ago most of the premade stuff wasn't that great. I'm pregnant again and I'm pleased to have discovered that you can buy loads of really nice preprepared stuff now which will definitely make life easier as I did become a bit of a slave to the kitchen first time round.

ChunkyMonkeysMum Mon 21-Sep-09 11:00:47

Cows milk shouldn't be given to babies under 12 months.

As for giving her a spoonful of sugar......what is wrong with them ??!!

She certainly should not be on pureed fruit and veg before around 4 months. The guidelines now say 6 months, but the jars etc you can buy say suitable from 4 months.

I don't understand why they are feeding her until she's sick. They really need to seek advice from a HV.......quickly !!

cheesesarnie Mon 21-Sep-09 11:01:30

sounds too bad to be true.

my only advice to you op is to do the complete opposite of your friend!

ChunkyMonkeysMum Mon 21-Sep-09 11:03:23

FWIW - I was actually advised to steer clear of the hungrier baby milk by my HV. She told me to give a couple of extra ounces of the normal formula rather than go for the hungrier baby stuff because it can constipate them & apparently can cause tummy problems in the future (as can feeding them pureed/solid foods too early).

Alibabaandthe40nappies Mon 21-Sep-09 11:08:02

This is a wind up, surely? No-one who really was clueless about baby care could have shoe-horned all those red rags into one story.

Stopping BF
Early weaning
Sugar in bottle
Early use of 'hungry baby' and cow's milk.

hmm

Ninks Mon 21-Sep-09 11:09:11

Cow's milk has a much higher sodium content IIRC. Immature kidneys - could be quite dangerous, I'd definitely get her to have a word with the H.V.

CyradisTheSeer Mon 21-Sep-09 11:10:26

Message withdrawn

StableButDeluded Mon 21-Sep-09 11:15:11

They sound completely clueless. They'll probably be giving it gin next if they think the sugar isn't working hmm

9 week old babies don't have the enzymes necessary to digest solids, and by 'solids' i mean any food that isn't baby milk, either breast or formula. They could have made any possible digestive problem worse by doing this.

Not sure quite what you mean about feeding the baby till it's sick? Lots of babies will bring up a bit of milk after feeding when they're burping, is it just that, maybe?

I'm not an expert, only a mum of 1, but I think on the whole babies are pretty good at just taking what they want and no more. I don't see how they could be forcing the baby to drink more than it wants, to the point that it is sick.

Definitely NO to the cow's milk, amd sugar. They need the health visitor ASAP.

SamMitchell Mon 21-Sep-09 11:20:42

Doesnt sound great. Some of it is dangerous. They are obviously anxious about their baby's feeding and are flapping. personally, Iwouldnt wade in with helpful advice as they will probably get defensive and tell you to naff off. Maybe you could engineer a situation where you are lookinmg through a baby book at the feeding section and reada few bits out, asking her what she thinks? I dunno. Tisa tricky one.

flier Mon 21-Sep-09 11:21:21

Do you live locally to your friend? What I'm thinking is that if you share the same midwives and HVs that you could mention it to your midwife? They then may speak to the HV - it sounds like your friend could do with a visit from the HV

Is the baby a boy or girl? can't tell from your OP

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