to have put all DS's toys in the loft?(55 Posts)
Do it now, I am still untidy and my parents had a lifetime of telling me to tidy my room. Perhaps if you can change him now he'll have a life that doesn't include the daily search for everything.
My DH put all toys away of our dss, they have to earn them back by being tidy and doing jobs. They a re 6 & 7.
I would have suggested tackling it together I think. It is a daunting prospect for a 7 year old.
It sounds like he has too much stuff /bad storage so maybe a chuck out is in order, to make everyones life a bit more bearable (maybe he could sell or give to charity)
Quite right, if he's old enough to take all of the toys out and make the mess then he's old enough to put it back. I do however think that your dd is probably tidier because she is a girl. My dd (20 months) is better at tidying than my ds (12!).
think he is bit little for this...my ds needs me to break things down into small tasks for him eg. just put your ps games in a pile then I will come back...think its overfacing otherwise. And boys ime def are more prone to the 'accumlating piles of junk' thing.
Agree good storage systems important too. MAybe just bring the lego down, get him to sort then next week something else?
my 2yr old is capable of tidying up, although i have to say good storage helps him,
not saying you dont have that, just an idea, a box for each thing, stick a label on, then if hes still lazy remove them,
Your mum is wrong you shouldnt do it, although maybe some guidance or when giving them back say, ds we need to tidy these away i will help but your doing it too and i want you to make sure it stays tidy so put things back before getting something else out and if you manage it for x amount of days you can have a comic?
My DDs 8 and she's sooo slow at tidying her room, but much better if I break it down for her into 'put those books in a pile'/put the soft toys in the hanger thingy'. At 7 I just don't think she had a clue how to do it, and like Cybil said, it's a pretty daunting prospect...even for an adult!
One thing to keep in mind though, that if you put all his stuff up in the loft, you're going to have to entertain him yourselves
I do more of a carrot approach.
Once in a while DC want to go somewhere special, adventure playground or cinema, etc. But we don't go unless their room is tidy on the day.
The first time was Hell with screaming and wailing, me having to sit and tell them every little thing to do. But NOW they can and do get on with it (they are 5,7 & 9). All that stuff being packed up and going into the loft and then trickling back down as and when, would be way too much work for me.
I admire you ability to actually carry throught the threat! We've occasionally put it all in bin bags and threatened to throw it in the bin. Sometimes an occasional shake of an empty bin bag can get them moving like rockets, but would never actually throw it away (obviously!)
My eldest DS (9) is also a stubborn so and so, and I frequently find most of his toys and books all over the floor, along with his duvet and about 300 20 soft toys. And nothing seems to motivate him now to sort it out. His younger brother (6) is marginally better in that he will make the same mess, but at least make a bit of an effort to tidy up afterwards.
Would love a magic answer to this one, but DS1 and myself are too similar and argue like mad a lot of the time anyway, so mostly I let it slide as long as the floor is clear.
YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING
keep it up until he realises they are not coming straight back out the attic, really make him sweat for a bit. when u do bring them back out remind him that anytime he has more out than he is actually playing with, that the same will happen again....
encourage him to only get out what he is using and put away b4 he gets anything else out, this approach has recently worked with my untidy dd she now gets things out one at a time and is enjoying playing with her toys much more now they are organized.
easylife73... why would u threaten and not throw in the bin? if u make a threat u should follow through, my dp will throw away ANYTHING he finds on the living room floor! it works though, my dd won't leave anything on the floor now lol
Use it as a chance to get rid of stuff he's forgotten about, what he doesn't ask for stays in the loft until you are fed up with it and cart it off to Charity shops.
my mum used to just put all our belongings in bin bags and leave them out the front of the house for the bin men - if we didn't tidy them, the bin men would get them. That got us tidying up PDQ!
Although I remember being more upset by the fact that mum would often be in tears whilst she was filling the bags rather than the potential for losing our toys
anyway - it worked on my younger sis and I, but on my youngest sis and brother, mum never really lost her rag with them, and they are two of the messiest people I know - aged 20 and 22...
I think you're right. I'd also bring stuff back a very small bit at a time, say one bag or box and tell him he has to keep that tidy for a week until he can get anything else. And the minute its a problem again, straight back up.
I agree with the pp who said you are doing him a favour. I wish someone had done this for me as a kid! I'm not too bad now, but I find it a terrible struggle to keep things tidy, I still can never find things, its like fighting a tide! I'm determined my children will learn now, and I make my 5 and 2 year olds tidy up after themselves wherever possible.
DH once put all DS1's toys in the loft when he misbehaved while we were out. He had warnings. He really doesn't like doing his room and I leave it until I can't stand it anymore and tell myself it is his space. What really upsets me though is the mess. He is into experiments and there is mess all over his furniture and stuff stuck on the floor.
I spent 2 hours this morning doing DD's room and will do DS1's tmw as I feel too yuk to do anything more.
I am starting pocket money soon and I am going to make some of it conditional on them looking after their stuff more.
Ds1 is 8 1/2 years.
I did this one morning when I had had enough!
However DDs 2 and 3 were not fazed in the slightest and enjoyed climbing on the empty storage units.
I held out for 3 days and they still were not bothered at all. It was sooo annoying.
The stuff went back with stern instructions on future behaviour.
Something may have clicked because now the threat of bin bags can get them going to some extent.
I think you were setting him up to fail. I don't know any 7 year old who would have had the motivation to start tidying a room full of mess without help. Also I think at 7 he is too young to be given those computer console things. Of course they are going to get strewn with other toys because at 7 he simply can't have the life experience for it to really mean something to him that they are costly. theoretically he can know it but not really. If you want to teach him that they're precious in some way don't allow them in his room unsupervised.
I would have said come on lets go and tidy your room then helped him with it. Then if he refused to help,put his toys in the loft.
before reading my first thought was yabu.buuuut.......i think you have done the right thing!and please let me know if it works as i may try it with ds1!(although im probably not allowed)
I'm actually with your mum a bit - YOU have allowed his room to get into that state. He's 7, not 17, and if you want him to sort out an utter pigsty, you have to help him.
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