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Name being shortened, upset DD

(60 Posts)
Kathrina Sun 20-Sep-09 12:46:03

My 12 yr old DD went to visit her 18mth old cousin the other day. While she was there my DD shortened her cousins name and was told off by her Auntie my SIL. My DD came home very upset and i asked her what had happened she told me. I know some people do not like their childrens names to be shortened but to upset a 12 yr old is not on. I have told her not to go for a while. My hubby said not to take any notice but my DD is upset as she loves her cousins. What can i do and am i being unreasonable in keeping her away for a while thanks.

GiraffesAndDucksSayQuack Sun 20-Sep-09 12:52:01

What do you mean by "told off"?

ben5 Sun 20-Sep-09 12:54:21

what was the name? i tell people i don't like bengi( sounds like a dogs name!) but you can shorten benjamin to ben

diddl Sun 20-Sep-09 12:57:07

Was she "told off" or simply asked not to shorten the name?

VinegarTits Sun 20-Sep-09 12:57:22

Don't do anything, carry on as normal, is your 12 yr sensitive atm? do girls get a bit hormonal around that age? i wouldnt say it was something to get upset about, i think stopping your dd from visiting is over reacting

Kathrina Sun 20-Sep-09 12:59:10

The name is Isabelle and she called her Izzy. My SIL from what i can gather said her name is Isabelle not Izzy. My DD said she was quite stern. I am not going to fall out with her it is not worth it perhaps she was having a bad day?

edam Sun 20-Sep-09 13:00:17

You probably are being a bit unreasonable to put a stop to the visits.

Whether you are being unreasonable to object to the aunt telling off your dd depends how it was done. Maybe your dd is being oversensitive, maybe your SIL was being touchy - need more details to unravel that one.

(I got really told off by my mother for shortening my sister's name and was very upset - and we were all adults! So I do sympathise with dd even if she's being a bit oversensitive, being told off for something that wasn't ill-intentioned can be upsetting.)

edam Sun 20-Sep-09 13:01:27

Anyway, your SIL is fighting a losing battle on that one, people will call her Izzy - even if SIL manages to frighten everyone off for now, once she goes to school...

differentID Sun 20-Sep-09 13:01:37

sorry, but 12 year old girls are often the biggest drama queens going. She was probably told that his name is x, not y and I don't want it shortened.

I would honestly make her go visit- by hiding she's not doing herslef any favours.

Kathrina Sun 20-Sep-09 13:03:15

Yeah perhaps my DD is being oversensitive. I am not putting a stop to the visits for good just for a week. I think the shortening of the name just slipped out when they were playing. I am going to put it down to a hormonal DD and a stressed out young mum with 2 children under the age of 2. Thanks.

FabBakerGirlIsBack Sun 20-Sep-09 13:04:01

Stopping visits is daft.

Carry on as normal.

Your SIL could have let it go but didn't so just use the right name in future.

Kathrina Sun 20-Sep-09 13:07:46

Yeah going to have to tell my DD not to shorten either names. Think before she speaks. She will get over it and so will my SIL smile

NoahDear Sun 20-Sep-09 13:10:26

oh god your dd needs to grow some balls

VinegarTits Sun 20-Sep-09 13:12:03


diddl Sun 20-Sep-09 13:15:37

I wouldn´t put a stop to visits.

If your SIL doesn´t want the name shortened, then she´s entitled to say so, although she may have gone about it wrongly.

I hate Izzy as it is!

Has anyone else ever shortened the name?

Kathrina Sun 20-Sep-09 13:16:49

Well like the previous posts have said she is a 12 yr old hormonal child and at that age these sort of things they take to heart NOAHDEAR and no my DD cannot grow balls. No need for you comment really not helpful in the slightest. The others have made good comments and constructive comments.

independiente Sun 20-Sep-09 13:17:10

'To upset a 12 year old is not on.'
You're not serious.

NoahDear Sun 20-Sep-09 13:17:53

I presume she has been told off at school
so fgs tell her" lifes like that"

independiente Sun 20-Sep-09 13:18:45

Sorry, pressed post too fast.

Agree with others about over-reactions all over the place.

Kathrina Sun 20-Sep-09 13:21:01

Yep i get my name shortened all the time and never bothers me. My DD is called Georgia and gets shortened to George a lot it does not bother me or her in the slightest. My sons name is shortened to Ade or AA for and my youngest shortened to Kiki. They will get called these in school and workplace anyway.

francagoestohollywood Sun 20-Sep-09 13:22:49

Carry on as usual I say.
Though I can't believe people get cross if their pfb's name gets shortened.

Kathrina Sun 20-Sep-09 13:23:41

Sorry diddl i mis-read the last comment. Yes her dad shortens her name to 'IZ'

JodieO Sun 20-Sep-09 13:26:02

So she wasn't "told off" at all then. She was simply told that her name isn't x it is y. Sounds perfectly reasonable to me and I think your dd, and you, are overreacting.

MaggieBeauLeo Sun 20-Sep-09 13:28:42

I think she was probably just told 'don't call xyz 'x' and she was upset by that request.

I've said to children my dds name is Blahblah, not blah. I just thought, some 7 year old doesn't get to choose my daughter's name! Didn't mean to upset the child though.

beaniesinthebucketagain Sun 20-Sep-09 13:31:50


No need to be rude to your dd but by the sounds of things everyones over-reacting,

I HATE people shortening my childrens names, lola gets called Lo i mean WTF thats just plain pointless and lazy!!!

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