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to be upset at my best friend

(38 Posts)
blushrose Sat 19-Sep-09 14:59:49

I am leaving next week to move to another city. My leaving do/drinks are tonight. I invited everyone a month ago, my best friend says 'I should be free but it's DP's birthday on the Thursday so we might be doing something"

Anyway on Thursday she and her DP had a cosy night in, she cooked dinner for him etc. So I said great I'll be seeing you on Saturday then? Answer was no, as 'a couple of friends are coming round for dinner for DP's birthday'

AIBU in thinking she should be coming to my leaving do? And that the friends for dinner should have been arranged for another night seeing as she must have known when she invited them that I had my drinks for tonight?

Ok I know it's his birthday but I'd like to think if I was in her shoes I'd have said 'blushrose is leaving and it's important for me to go to her drinks'

I'm not going to see her for months now.

FabBakerGirlIsBack Sat 19-Sep-09 15:01:22

That is really rubbish.

Have a good night anyway.

echofalls Sat 19-Sep-09 15:02:54

I would feel upset too especially since its been planned for weeks. However she may feel since you are moving away she wants to give her time to people who will still be there....does this make sense? Hope you manage to enjoy your night tonight regardless of whether she will be there or not smile

bigchris Sat 19-Sep-09 15:04:20

are you single? sometimes it's hard to pin down people in relationships at weekends

FabBakerGirlIsBack Sat 19-Sep-09 15:05:02

If that is the kiss I wouldn't bother with her again hmm.

Surely you want to see people who you WON'T be able to see more often.

blushrose Sat 19-Sep-09 15:05:51

PS if I am being unreasonable I will fully accept that, just interested to know other's thoughts on where your priorities would/should be, she has been with DP for over 3 years now, live together, she sees him every night so couldn't they have arranged the dinner for friday/next weekend?!

She KNEW my drinks were tonight yet still arranged this dinner.. I just feel she should have WANTED to come tonight to see me off!

echofalls Sat 19-Sep-09 15:09:02

yes you are right she should have wanted to come but she has arranged something else. If I were you I would remember this and go out tonight and have fun with the people who are coming.

FabBakerGirlIsBack Sat 19-Sep-09 15:09:03

the kiss????

the case!!

echofalls Sat 19-Sep-09 15:11:23

and Fab I do agree with you about wanting to see the person who is moving away...I would do this too, but she is maybe a different kettle of fish. Friendships change with time its clear this one has changed without the OP knowing, which is a real shame.

blushrose Sat 19-Sep-09 15:15:38

It is a shame... It was my birthday a few months ago and she cancelled on that too, had twisted her ankle... I saw her two days later though and seemed fine to me... Not doubting she went to a+e, she did, but it was all just a bit hmm

blushrose Sat 19-Sep-09 15:16:17

bigchris, i am single, but that shouldn't really have anything to do with it, should it...

FabBakerGirlIsBack Sat 19-Sep-09 15:16:29

I would say goodbye to this person..,

MmeLindt Sat 19-Sep-09 15:17:40

She is being a bit selfish. Have a great evening anyway, don't dwell on it.

echofalls Sat 19-Sep-09 15:18:08

me too she is not acting like a best friend

GibbonInARibbon Sat 19-Sep-09 15:18:50

I would be upset, YANBU.

Enjoy your evening and try not to dwell on it smile

franklymydear Sat 19-Sep-09 15:20:48

I think I'd reassess just who is your best friend

skidoodle Sat 19-Sep-09 15:21:35

No, she is not acting like a best friend.

diddl Sat 19-Sep-09 15:23:28

Could her partner not have come too?

Is she jealous that you are moing?

Is her partner controlling?

Try not to dwell on it and hae a good time.

YANBU, it doesn´t sound as if she has made much effort.

FabBakerGirlIsBack Sat 19-Sep-09 15:25:09

You being single is irrelevant.

diddl Sat 19-Sep-09 15:25:12

Stop that moing!!
Moving, of course.

and have a good time!

groundhogs Sat 19-Sep-09 15:54:27

It's a great shame, and as hurt as you feel, - I had my BF bail on me on my hen night, that was kind of it for me.

If she's been bailing since your birthday, then for some unknown reason, you are not her BF. Move, and don't look back.

Perhaps she has difficulty in saying goodbyes??? shite reason, but we are all irrational about something.

Ditch her anyway, and you will definately find new friends in your new place.

groundhogs Sat 19-Sep-09 15:57:43

Actually, you know, she really HAS bailed, if she were that much of a BF, she'd have thrown you a bloody party, not dodged yours and arranged her own litte soiree for some friends.... and DP could have joined in for a bonus celebration!!

Outrageous, ditch her and never talk to her again. She is no loss to you at all, better she let you down over this, than at a time when your life etc depended on it...

The Cow!

FranSanDisco Sat 19-Sep-09 16:11:05

Oh that's not on. I had a similar friend. Ditch her.

ChilloHippi Sat 19-Sep-09 16:11:24

I would be extremely offended and would call it a day with regard to that friendship.

blushrose Sat 19-Sep-09 17:16:51

groundhogs, you are right you know! i would have done!

diddl yes her DP could have come too, he was more than welcome

Anyway, i am here with another friend (who has driven miles to be heresmile), we have been out for a glass of vino and now she is making dinner (aah) while I toodle off to the shower, then it is getting ready time and we are hitting the town!

Hopefully lots of other people will turn up!

Thank you for your replies, I will probably cool it off with her then mention this as the reason if she asks why, but for tonight, music on, cocktails to be mixed, it is party time


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