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to leave my current boss in the lurch

(33 Posts)
ThatVikRinA22 Fri 18-Sep-09 16:25:37

im agonising now over what to do!

my current boss refused to take me off probation but also refused to tell me why.(i feel he is simply hedging his bets - if something better came along id have gone by now and i think the feeling is mutual) i have been there for almost 1 year now, its a poorly paid position involving every saturday and a job ive got 10 years experience in, and its a long way from where i live meaning a commute daily.

he is adverstising for 2 other positions and no one is taking the jobs he is offering even in this climate! he has had 3 people turn his offers of employment down. i can see why but he cant.

before i went for this job, i went for one at a local gps practice. in the event i didnt get the job id gone for but the practice manager rang me to say she was very impressed with me and would be in touch if another position became available. i thought "yeah yeah" as you do.
she has just phoned me to offer me a job. even better - she says there are 2 positions so i can more or less take my pick of the hours as she is willing to rejig it for me, and the money is better than where i am and id have no commute as its more or less on my door step.

this looks like an easy decision - but i actually like my current boss and i will feel absolutely terrible about leaving him in the lurch - and i really would be. i am single -handedly running one of his concerns as he cannot get any more staff. also technically because i am still on probation i only have to give 1 weeks notice. (ha ha ha not that i would.) but it will leave him up the creek without a paddle which ever way i look at it. saying that i know he would have no hesitation of getting rid of me if he had to. so do i look after no 1 and take the local better paid position? would it be a Very Bad Thing to do?

heavenstobetsy Fri 18-Sep-09 16:29:10

definitely go for the new job! I know you say you like your boss, but I can't see why when as a boss he is doing you absolutely no favours. He has kept you dangling with no explanation why you are still on probation (other than the obvious reason that he can sack you a lot easier than if you were not on probation!)

You are doing NOTHING wrong - the fact that you can leave so quickly is entirely his fault.

Go for it - and good luck in your new job

laweaselmys Fri 18-Sep-09 16:29:42

Seriously - when it comes to your job you have to do what is right by you, so take the better job!

However, I highly recommend that you leave your previous employer with some 'suggestions' as to how to improve the image of his company, or if you felt really bad you could offer to interview potential replacements for you and pick the best one for him.

MorrisZapp Fri 18-Sep-09 16:29:59

How could it be a bad thing to do, given that he'd let you go if he could anyway?

aendr Fri 18-Sep-09 16:33:14

Yes, get the better job, if it's more local it will be cheaper commute too. With the liking him bit, you can give him some extra notice than he's entitled to.

MoonTheLoon Fri 18-Sep-09 16:35:38

You must take the job. I am sinilar and offer a lot of loyalty to me boss/company often to my detriment and it is slowly dawning on me how much it is taken for granted and not appreciated.

You are not deliberately leaving him in the lurch, you are seeking a better and more secure livlihood.


alarkaspree Fri 18-Sep-09 16:36:37

Personally I would leave with one week's notice. It might make him think about treating his future employees better than he has treated you.

But you are obviously a much nicer person than I am and one option if you felt really bad would be to offer to let him match the terms of your new job offer, taking you off probation and increasing your pay. He can't do much about the commute and the saturdays though so you'd still be better off in the new job.

slug Fri 18-Sep-09 16:39:45

Oh please do that. I once left an employer who treated me similarily (refusing to take me off a temporary contract even after I'd workd for them for over a year). I gave them a week's notice and went to take up a temporary job abraod. I came back after the 6 months, called them up, and was immediately offered a permanant contract on better pay and conditions.

bunjies Fri 18-Sep-09 16:44:37

Take the job. This is not the time for loyalty. He has shown you none.

ThatVikRinA22 Fri 18-Sep-09 16:44:39

well im going to go and see the practice manager of the gp's practice on monday morning so ill find out exactly what is what, then i can ask about notice etc. i could give him a month unless he is going to be funny about it (which he might be actually) but i know he wouldnt do me any favours. ill just feel a bit guilty. he really cant get the staff and has been pestering me to go full time, which i have been doing temporarily as a favour because he really has no one else to run the place. i asked him to take me off probation a couple of months ago and he refused saying he could legally keep me on probation for a year so he would. when i asked him why he said "one or two niggly things" but refused to elaborate.
seems someone wants me anyway! its out of my comfort zone and a different job altogether but tbh ive had enough of what im doing anyway.
ill see whats goes on monday.

TeamEdwardTango Fri 18-Sep-09 16:48:30

This is a no-brainer!
Take the new job.
Like you say, you know he would do you no favours. In this financial climate loyalty counts for nothing. You need to think about yourself.
A new job that pays better and you'd enjoy more? Go for it!!

letsblowthistacostand Fri 18-Sep-09 17:58:42

You don't owe him anything. You do a job and he pays you for it and that's it. He sounds like a twat, too--a decent boss doesn't keep stringing you along and refuse to explain why.

echofalls Fri 18-Sep-09 18:00:50

give him a weeks notice, take the new job, he hasn't been straight with you don't feel you owe him anything. Good luck and well done

MmeLindt Fri 18-Sep-09 18:06:41

Give him a weeks notice and take the new job.

He would turf you out if he got a person he prefered for your job.

Offer him the same loyalty that he is offering you.

sayithowitis Fri 18-Sep-09 18:07:29

It is extremely unreasonable of your current boss to refuse to take you off probation for a 'few niggles' without telling you what they are so that you have the opportunity to address them. It does sound as though he is just holding on to you in the hope that someone else, 'better', turns up and then would sack you without a moment's hesitation. In this instance, I don't think you owe him any loyalty at all and if it were me, I would be handing in my week's notice and moving to the new job.


crokky Fri 18-Sep-09 18:11:37

He won't take you off probation and won't tell you why. That is outrageous, your loyalty to him is totally misplaced. He is treating you very badly.

I would give notice of one week and quit.

Dizzyclarebear Fri 18-Sep-09 18:25:53

YANBU - after 1 year you've proved you're capable of doing the job or you haven't. He wants to keep you on probation so if it suits him it'll be easy to fire you, why are you being loyal to someone who so clearly wouldn't be loyal to you?

You only have to give a weeks notice, do that. If you really feel bad, give him 2 weeks, but be clear that you are being generous as you only have to give 1.

Congratulations for your new job! Oh, and don't forget - 'new job, new shoes'... (or bag)

ThatVikRinA22 Fri 18-Sep-09 18:29:38

cheers guys. it does get to me that he wouldnt tell me why he wouldnt take me off probation. i am good at my job but tbh he is running a shambles and it annoys me. (cant go into too much detail or i may be identified) but he gives out shoddy goods knowingly and i think its wrong when people are paying a lot of money for something that is faulty, but he gets annoyed if i point it out.
i am currently managing the premises as im the only one there, but the pay is terrible. ive been expected to change days off at the drop of a hat, alter my hours, do the accounts and generally be jack of all trades. i suspect im not what he wanted for his practice anyway. his friend worked a day for him and told me i was wasted working there. it is something of a bucket shop.

id be glad to leave actually. i just feel guilty dropping him in it. which i will be. but ill be sooooo glad not to have to work saturdays anymore! im out tonight for a meal with friends and the thought of getting up and going to work tomorrow fills me with horror!

on a quite seperate note i have got an application in with a police force but ive no guarantees of getting anywhere, and even if i do i could be waiting 2 years for a position to come up so ill keep that one under my hat for the time being and take the other job. thanks guys! youve really helped.

WhereYouLeftIt Fri 18-Sep-09 21:59:27

Good Lord woman you need to get out of there! He is a crap person employer and that is never going to change, what on earth have YOU got to feel guilty for?? Is this the employee version of Battered Woman Syndrome? wink

Sunshinemambo Fri 18-Sep-09 22:05:32

It sounds like a no-brainer. Go for it.

Firawla Fri 18-Sep-09 22:18:09

go for the new job

dutchmanswife Fri 18-Sep-09 22:26:21

If it was me I'd get a lot of pleasure dropping him in it. He sounds a complete tosser.

mellifluouscauliflower Fri 18-Sep-09 22:30:47

Good luck with it.

Far from doing a Very Bad Thing, this is a Very Good Thing.

Instead of spending your day ripping people off (albeit on your boss's behalf), you'll be helping people & giving yourself more money, time & self esteem in the process.

midlandsmumof4 Fri 18-Sep-09 22:41:20

You really said it all in your first post grin. Go for the new job. You've only been there a year. If it makes you feel better-give him a bit more notice but it sounds as though you don't owe him much loyalty. He'll soon find some other mug person to take your place.

MollieO Fri 18-Sep-09 22:46:20

If someone treated me like that I wouldn't even work my notice (assuming you could afford to lose a week's money of course). Just for the satisfaction of leaving him well and truly in the lurch. What a nasty controlling person your soon to be ex-boss sounds like.

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