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Partner purposely over-feeding my cat

(35 Posts)
Chesente Wed 16-Sep-09 12:29:37

My partner moved in with us in June and he always found it hilarious that my cat was overweight. I laughed along at first and told him to make the most of it as she was on a diet and would soon lose the weight.

So I dramatically reduced her food and I couldn't understand why she seemed to be getting even bigger. I caught DD feeding her one day and asked her not to anymore as that was why she was so fat as 2 different people were feeding her at different times. She swore she'd not fed her that often but I assumed she must have done.

Anyway a few days later I got up and there was cat food all over the kitchen floor. I assumed the cat must have somehow got into the cupboard and knocked the box over. I then found the cat stretched out in the porch looking quite ill. She must have eaten loads. Her belly was all swollen. DD swore she hadn't done it.

A few days after that I'd fed her at 7am and at 8am I saw DP sprinkling cat food down at the back of the garden. I asked him why he was feeding the cat and he said he hadn't realised she'd been fed. I assumed he was telling the truth but then I caught him feeding her again at 9pm. I also found little piles of cat food all over the house. The cat by this time was massive, couldn't run properly and had trouble jumping and climbing etc.

I sat dp and DD down and asked everyone not to feed the cat as she could end up quite ill. DD got upset and said I was blaming her, DP looked a bit uncomfortable but said nothing.

Anyway I think he's still doing it as the cat is still getting fatter, I keep finding cat food all over and the box of cat biscuits is going down far too quickly. I also found empty tins of cat meat in the recycle bin (she's not even supposed to be eating that so he must have bought it himself).

Why would he do this?? I just don't understand the point.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Wed 16-Sep-09 12:35:04

Why would he do this? No idea, but it's cruel to the cat, unfair to your DD and massively disrespectful to you. I think it shows a really nasty side to him actually. I find that quite upsetting, to think of someone deliberately overfeeding an animal to watch them suffering. WTF?

Knakard Wed 16-Sep-09 12:35:51

IMO hes trying to kill your cat - How odd!

Stigaloid Wed 16-Sep-09 12:37:32

I'd stop feeding the cat then if she is getting fed by him.

Chesente Wed 16-Sep-09 12:39:06

I have stopped feeding her. He's supposed to be an animal lover though. I wonder if he thinks he's been "kind" to the cat for letting her eat as much as she wants?

itsmeolord Wed 16-Sep-09 12:39:42

Get rid of him. He is odd bordering on plain nasty.

Tortington Wed 16-Sep-09 12:43:12

sounds very serial killeresq to me.

someone who is being deliberately cruel on a long term basis to an animal - i wouldn't let near my children.

Hassled Wed 16-Sep-09 12:44:03

That's just weird and wrong. He either wants to kill the cat or thinks it's some sort of "let's confuse the shit out of Chesente" game. Either way, a nutter.

throckenholt Wed 16-Sep-09 12:44:30

lock the catfood in a cupboard.

And think carefully about what that says about him.

RealityIsNOTDetoxing Wed 16-Sep-09 12:45:00

Message withdrawn

bruxeur Wed 16-Sep-09 12:45:35

Perhaps he just likes really fat cats?

Tortington Wed 16-Sep-09 12:46:48

yeah don't eat the rich tea left for you on the landing OP.

Roomfor2 Wed 16-Sep-09 12:49:13

Aside from the cruelty to the cat (which is very important and absolutely unacceptable), what about the fact that this idiot sat and let your DD take the blame when she was clearly upset about it??? shock

I would not be with such a person who could do that to my kids, or my cat.

If you're sure it is him doing it, you really need to get him out before things get more serious.

Jofo Wed 16-Sep-09 12:51:02

Ditch him sharpish. Sounds like a control freak to me and once the cat is dead, he'll start on you! shock

Stigaloid Wed 16-Sep-09 12:51:09

Can you ask someone else to care for the cat for a few days and see how he goes there? Are there any family members who can help? I'd then sit partner down and tell him you are distrubed by his behaviour and want an honest answer. Would have to agree with others - i could not be with a person who was so deliberately cruel to a defenceless animal and got enjoyment out of the suffering of a living creature. I would not stay with someone like that.

Besom Wed 16-Sep-09 12:53:20

My grandmother consistently over fed animals in her care and no amount of vets telling her off or family having words seemed to make any difference.

She came to stay at our house and turned the dog into a nightmare, constantly begging for food, because she fed her from her own plate at the table.

She wasn't being deliberately nasty, just completely irresponsible. She was a bit mental, and it was her way of getting them to like her.

I think she treated my dad in much the same way when he was growing up and would have been the same with us except my mother didn't let her.

So I don't think he's necessarily a cat serial killer but I would question his maturity.

StayFrosty Wed 16-Sep-09 12:56:59

I agree with the others, I think deliberately doing something you have repeatedly asked him not to is disturbing enough in itself without the added red flag of it being cruel to your cat. This is telling you something about him. What does your instinct say?

preciouslillywhite Wed 16-Sep-09 13:00:56

grin custardo

themoon66 Wed 16-Sep-09 13:05:56

He is a secret feeder here

preciouslillywhite Wed 16-Sep-09 13:07:59


....maybe he should get together with the Greedy Partner on the other AIBU thread

PeedOffWithNits Wed 16-Sep-09 14:36:11

OP this has to be a wind up

fruitshootsandheaves Wed 16-Sep-09 14:41:44

get rid of all the cat biscuits

use up all the cat food by making it into a cottage pie and serving it up for your DP. (won't help the cat but will make you feel better)

only buy one tin of food a day for cat then he can't overfeed it.

buy a tiger

AnyFucker Wed 16-Sep-09 14:44:05


is it school holidays already ?

SolidGoldBrass Wed 16-Sep-09 14:45:35

Very creepy behaviour as it seems entirely pointless.

GetOrfMoiLand Wed 16-Sep-09 14:46:21

PMSL at Custardo.

OP - is your partner very young? He sounds (at best) incredibly immature and (at worst) controlling and cruel. I would take a good look at the rest of his behaviour, tbh.

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