When you think things cannot get any worse, they do get worse.
I apologize for a long story. DH?s brother was removed from the UK a week ago due to breaching visa conditions. Before that DH went to visit him in order to take 4 or 5 brother?s credit cards (but was not given by authorities). When I asked why did he want cards, DH answered something like ? there are credit limits, so why not to use them?. I didn?t like what he said, but we did not develop the subject as I hoped whatever was the idea, it died with not being given the cards.
Yesterday I came home and saw a new laptop box addressed to DH?s brother (our address). DH?s said that brother is planning business back home and is buying 4 laptops in the UK. I started suspecting? Then searched the bin and found Credit Agreement dated yesterday with the name of DH?s brother, this was cut into pieces. I searched internet and found that DH logged in to all (or most) of his brother?s accounts. I also found the text on DH?s phone to brother saying that ?PC World declined? (can?t remember exact wording). All in all, I came to the conclusion that the intention was to use credit limits, buy laptops, send abroad and never repay, especially when similar remark was made a week ago. I confronted DH saying ?I now what have you been thinking, this is not right. If you return laptops to shops, we will keep it between us. Otherwise I will have to make it public (to tell his friends, my friends and maybe report). He replied that ?this is not what I think?, ?I made my own conclusions and did not allow him to explain, and now he will not explain?, ?the brother is starting business and of course he will repay credit cards?. I asked ?prove me wrong? and he got offended and replied ?make it public if you want to?, and he refused to explain anything blaming me for my conclusions.
My guts are saying I am right. He does not want to admit. Maybe it is his brother?s influence (he?s got quite bad mentality), but DH got involved.
I have enough on my plate atm. Due to recent events, I started questioning myself whether our marriage is genuine. We have been together for 3 years and I found him quite honest person. Now all things seem to have gone wrong.
I am thinking to visit his mature relatives so that they aware of the situation and do something about it. I cannot handle it on my own. I am ashamed to tell to my friends or family (because DH always has been good in their eyes), so I am on my own. I am scared that DH will use it as a reason to leave me. I still love him but I cannot ignore if fraud is happening in my home. The worst thing, DH does not seem to care (or pretends not to).
AIBU to jump in to such conclusions? What should I do? My approach maybe was slightly to aggressive yesterday (kind of ultimatum), but I feel that I was right. The easiest thing I could do, is to pretend that everything is fine, DH bought laptops in the name of brother, brother is planning to repay, and if brother does not repay it is not my problem. I love my DH, I really don?t want him to get involved in the problem, but what can I do if he is involving himself.
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AIBU?
...thinking that DH is committing a fraud…
59 replies
toja555 · 15/09/2009 11:03
OP posts:
DailyMailNameChanger ·
15/09/2009 11:25
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