DH is a long haul pilot. He's away 50% of the time and about 70% of weekends. He's been doing this job for 3 years, prior to that he was a military pilot. Because of the risk and longer term absences in his old job, I thought things would definitely be better when he went to the airlines, but I am coming to see that it makes my life so tough.
I hate him being away weekends. He misses so much and the children (DD - 4, DS, 1.6) miss him terribly. I can't do everything I want to with them on my own. I work practically full time during the week. This weekend, he went away on Thursday and came back today at lunch time but went straight to bed. He's not up yet (4.30pm) so may not be up for tea so that will be the 6th meal I've cooked, fed and cleaned up after on my own.
I have no time to myself and I really resent it. I also wanted to have another baby and decided I couldn't cope, but I've realised that the reason I couldn't cope is because half of the time I would be on my own with all three. So his job impacts on what I can do at the weekend, what my children can do, how often they see their dad, my wider lifestyle choices and also my job, because I can't put in place any regular flexible pattern because he has no regularity. He misses social occasions, he will almost certainly be away this Christmas and he missed DD's first day at school. I feel we really lose out. He loves his job and gets to travel, see friends abroad, play golf, ski in the winter...
How can I stop feeling like this? Anyone else married to a pilot with a young family, how do you cope? I know other people work long hours (I am a city lawyer so I know that only too well) but I really feel that the weekends thing is going to become more and more of an issue.
I just don't know what to do.
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I feel like DH's job is ruining my life
46 replies
IandJsmummy · 13/09/2009 16:29
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