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AIBU?

To feel like this?

21 replies

againandagain · 11/09/2009 22:57

Hi
4 weeks ago I had a suprise birth. By this I mean I had no idea I was pregnant. I had nine normal regular periods, only gained a small amount of weight, was never sick etc etc. Anyway, I had no idea untill I went to hospital I found out I was in labour! I gave birth to a beautiful and completely healthy baby girl. Other than being very shocked, me, my partner of four years and both our families are over the moon. We all love her so much and would not change anything for the world. We live a stones throw from my parents, im 22 and my DB is 25. We have had so much help and support and as my boyfriend owns his company in a partnership with somebody else, he has been able to work from home, which has been fab, although between 9 and 5 he is "at work".
Despite all this I am having some feelings that I just wanted to see if are normal? I love my baby but sometimes I feel relieved if my mum comes over and looks after her for an hour..... Or like tonight I asked if my DP wanted to give her her night time feed and I was hoping he would say yes? Is this odd? I dont feel depressed and 99% i am really happy. I just feel guilty that im glad sometimes to not be "holding the baby" for a while.
Any help would be appreciated, I just want to know weather im alone or not?? x

OP posts:

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LadyStealthPolarBear · 11/09/2009 22:59

at your story and congratulations on your DD!
Yes, completely normal. That feeling of total and utter responsibility takes you by surprise (you even more so I'd imagine) as does the physical requirement. After all if someone else is feeding the baby that is a short period of time where the baby isn't crying for you

ReneRusso · 11/09/2009 23:11

Wow amazing story. I was truly like a whale when pregnant. My bump arrived places hours before me. So I find it a bit hard to believe you didn't notice you were pregnant. But congratulations. Of course it is totally natural to feel relieved at any help you get with the baby. Babies are so much hard work and you haven't had 9 months to get used to the idea like most people. Its good you have a supportive family around you.

BettySuarez · 11/09/2009 23:19

Bless your heart and congratulations on the surprise arrival of your daughter.

Your love for your daughter is very evident in your post but the feelings you describe are not only normal but very healthy too.

Share her around a bit eh? It will give you some much needed rest and will also give those around her, the opportunity to show her just how much they love her too.

What a lucky lucky little girl!

againandagain · 11/09/2009 23:19

Thanks everyone!
I know it maybe hard to believe but after talking to people it is not as uncommen as you might think! I knew I had put on weight and did buy a couple of pairs of size 12 jeans in the last couple of months but just put it down to putting weight on after chilling and eating after completing my degree!
Anyway thanks again x

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twirlymum · 11/09/2009 23:23

Did you not feel the baby move at all?

Alvira · 12/09/2009 01:14

I'm amazed that you didn't have any morning, afternoon or evening sickness. You were lucky. Didn't the baby move? The feelings you describe are entirely normal. Babies are very demanding and this is exhausting.It is entirely normal to want a break from this cycle of feeding, playing and changing. You are very lucky to have so many people who want a share of your baby. Enjoy your baby and it sounds as if you are.

againandagain · 12/09/2009 10:07

I had no sickness whatsoever. And i am really paranoid about being sick so I would of remembered feeling sick even if it was 9 months ago. They was worried that I had not felt the baby move, but apparently this does happen which is why docters give some women Kick Charts to fill out. Also they think the baby may have been sitting "spine to spine" which is why I didnt have a bump. Anyway thanks for making me feel better. Last night I just felt I was doing a really bad job and that i was relying on other people too much! Thanks x

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InspiredButTired · 12/09/2009 10:27

Congratulations, what an amazing story. Echo what others have said, perfectly normal to feel like this. Accept all and every offer of help however small or big.

woozlet · 12/09/2009 10:41

Did you not even have an inkling??? Sorry, don't want to sound rude, but I am always a little bit sceptical of these stories and wonder if the women are in denial.

Congratulations on your DD though and the feelings you describe are very normal and healthy.

tethersend · 12/09/2009 10:48

Congratulations! My friend's sister had exactly the same surprise as you- she was paintballing a week before the birth- so I know it does happen

I had 9 months to prepare and i still wanted to throw her out of the window at least three times a day. I think you're doing pretty well to be honest...

tethersend · 12/09/2009 10:51

I wanted to throw my dd out of a window, not my friend's sister.

Like that sounds any better

joliejolie · 12/09/2009 11:06

Totally normal.
Like tethersend said, we all had 9 months to prepare for our little bundles and that does make a huge difference.

I do see that this can happen, especially if you are still having periods.
With my first baby, my bump was ridiculously small. People used to ask how far along I was and when they heard they were shocked. Right before I gave birth my best friend said I looked about 4 months gone! I did exercise quite a bit before though and I know I had strong stomach muscles.
I did feel the baby move though, but not as much as with my other pregnancies tbh.

againandagain · 12/09/2009 11:50

thanks teathersend!!

And please dont think I was in denial!!

We are so happy and if i would have known I was pregnant we would of just been happy nine months earlier! Also it would of ment I could have bought some things for my baby as everyone else did that why I was in hospitali lol! I was in for 3 days as I had preeclampsia and by the time I got out the baby had enough clothes to last her untill she is walking and talking!! Any way thanks for the support and laughs!

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pjmama · 12/09/2009 12:29

Wow! I wish my pregnancy had been so easy?! Obviously a heck of a shock, but quite nice that you didn't go through all the usual aches and pains and various swellings and incontinence and worries about the birth beforehand! Just a lovely surprise one day

Wanting to hand your baby over for a bit is totally normal and absolutely essential! We all need a rest to recharge and I'm sure your family love to take their turn. Congratulations, relax and enjoy your new family XX

ilove · 12/09/2009 12:41

I didn't know I was pregnant with my 4th until the GP made me do a test in order to refer me to gynae! I was 5 months pregnant when I found out...yes, it happens!

cat64 · 12/09/2009 13:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

scaryhairycat · 12/09/2009 13:12

Wow what a miracle! I love hearing stories like that - it fascinates me!

And no, you nutter, yanbu!!!

bubblerock · 12/09/2009 13:23

A friend of ours didn't know she was pregnant with her 6th!! She was told she had an ovarian cyst, ended up having the baby on her bathroom floor!! Saw her one week and then the next she had the baby with her!

Congratulations OP - you do sound like you are coping brilliantly!

diddl · 12/09/2009 13:27

Congratulations!!

Motherhood takes some adjusting to even when it´s not a surprise.

I never had morning sickness, so that´s not unusual.

againandagain · 12/09/2009 22:11

ilove and bubblerock- its amazing how many of these types of stories u hear.
Also I just finished a degree in a biological science so its not like I dont understand how the human body works.
Anyway as u can imagine my friends and family will be dining out on this for years to come! Me and my baby are quite the celebs in our little town.

Anyway feel much better now u have all convinced me its okay to let somebody take up the slack for a bit, I had everyone else down as being supermums and attending to their babies and children 24/7 and loving every min of it! Must be something to do with feeling like I have much less brain left after having a baby!!xx

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groundhogs · 12/09/2009 22:33

Congratulations OP! You are doing fine! Of course you are in a bit of shock, but coping admirably!

Glad to hear that you have lots of hands to help as and when you need them. Don't feel guilty, they can't WAIT to get their hands on your little princess!

Well done!

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