.......to 'keep an eye' on ex-friends posts on another forum?

[Astrid28]

to keep it brief, have quite recently fallen out a with a friend.

She still uses a forum that I introduced her to years ago. Whilst innocently browsing said forum a month or so ago I found a post by her detailing our falling out and surrounding details (all in her favour of course) and then read 10 or so more posts from strangers calling me a variety of not very nice names! I wanted to respond, composed several responses in fact, but never posted in the end.

Since then I've been cyber stalking keeping an eye on her posts from time to time to see if anything more is said, and generally be nosey about her life.

AIBU or AIJBW??? (just being weird??!!)

[Astrid28]

the striking thing didn't work!

Will thiswork?

[Pikelit]

Not at all unreasonable. I'd be over there absolutely rivetted by the mudslinging aimed at me!

[HolyGuacamole]

Forget about it and don't resort to an online fight, they don't tend to be pretty.

[Geocentric]

Reading her posts will just make you feel down/angry. Best ignore the temptation - some friendships just aren't meant to be, and you gain nothing by keeping tabs on her.

[Astrid28]

No no. There'll be no comments from me now. The time for arguing and my desire to argue about it have passed. But I worry that I'm strange for continuing to wonder what she says on there.

It's become part of my 'social' pc routine:

1. Check Hotmail
   
2. Check Facebook
   
3. Check what Madam X has been saying
   
   am I the only person who does this?? Can't be. Can I?

[Geocentric]

I can see how tempting it must be... but for sanity's sake, step away!

[londonartemis]

Keep away from the forum. She probably guesses you are checking it, and might even be taking a vindictive pleasure in getting back at you that way.

[Podrick]

You are being obsessive in your behaviour - but I guess you know that.

Stop stalking your ex friend, it's unhealthy for you, find something else to do and move on

[munchkinpoppet]

wouldn't it make you feel better to give details of the fall out on here, in your favour and we'll all sling mud at her for you

[salvadory]

ooh a kindred spirit.
I do this too but kind of hate that I do so I see where you're coming from.
I keep trying to wean myself away from it but the easy access of info means it's too easy to keep peeking.
I think it's partly because I feel bad that I don't speak to this person anymore, partly that I hate falling out with anyone and mostly partly because I'm a nosy old crow!!
Try and limit yourself to once a week and you'll soon get out of the habit (i've been on FB this morning and not even had a a look but now you've mentioned this I feel a sneaky peek coming on!)

[skihorse]

I've had similar myself - a girl I used to go skiing with slated me all over a ski website when I had to pull out of a holiday due to an unexpected electricity bill of 1600 euros. She told me to take out a bank loan... I digress, she slated me and I ignored it.

Another girl I was friends with for years and I fell out at the start of this year and she slated me all over another messageboard accusing me of stalking/etc. i) I live in a different country and ii) I was a bit "phew, at least she's gone". But... I see from the IP logs that she still reads my blog... so I think it's sad that she can't let go.

[Merrylegs]

skihorse - how does it work, that IP logging thing? Can you tell from the IP address exactly who someone is, or just their location?

(Am not your stalker btw!)

[AMumInScotland]

I think you need to let go of her - while you keep checking on what she says about you, you treat her as someone very important to you. Make her less important.

[skihorse]

merrylegs It depends, for example the resolvor will sometimes show that it's coming from someone's company - so I know it's x, or from a particular broadband provider, so I know it's Y. E.g., if you have an "ex-friend" who lives in Inverurie, Aberdeen and from the logs you see someone from Inverurie is reading your blog on a daily basis then you can put 2+2 together - especially if they for example comment on your blog - so it's all timestamped.

[Merrylegs]

Thank you, skihorse! I always wondered about that.

Back to my cyberstalking - mwah ha ha... (joking. Obviously.)

[skihorse]

anniemac That's the key I think, curiosity is one thing - but it's unfortunately probably only to the detriment of your own sanity.

merrylegs no problem, on my blog I'm running a little script from www.statcounter.com which records everyone who visits my website, tells me where they're coming from, what they did when they got there and all. It's all free and will provide you hours of stalking analytical fun.

[curiositykilled]

^
|

[curiositykilled]

[Astrid28]

Hi All - apologies for just dissappearing got interrupted from my confessional and have had broadband trouble until today - a sign perhaps??!! Just over one weeks cold turkey. Couldn't stalk a soul.

Podrick - yes I know, I know - I DO have a feeling it's pretty obsessive - have been dressing it up as naturally curious/commonplace/it's on a public forum she knows I use so what the hey??!! But Yes. I feel its a bit weird hence the post.

Am quite frightened that she might actually KNOW I've been peeking!! That might work. But it's just a forum....if i visit this every day and so does Jimmeny Cricket, could Jimmeny Cricket run a statcounter and expose me as a stalker????

Actually, don't answer that, I need the fear!!

Quick nod to my fellow peekers - in the words of the late great: You are not alone!!! hee hee! xx

[Astrid28]

Ha ha! With that as an alternative Kerry, I feel like perhaps she's lucky I'm just nosey!

[BitOfFun]

I think we need your side of it, m'dear

[drlove8]

lol .... i second bof! ... give us details,,, DETAILS!. not that we are nosey or anything?