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to be contemplating asking my neighbour to move her newborn into her bedroom at night?

(328 Posts)
willow Thu 10-Sep-09 11:41:20

Essentially, we live in a semi and neighbour's new baby is in a room that's next to our bedroom. Neighbour is on the floor above. Upshot is that we wake up from baby's cries, well before its parents do. Not even going to go down the advice to prevent cotdeath route, or fact that I think there might be a she who must not be named routine being followed.

Should I ask them, politely, to contemplate having baby in same room as them, at least for a little while until it's settled into a bit more of a routine? Appreciate that I can't demand they rethink where they're siting the nursery - but don't see why we should be disturbed more than the actual parents.

beanieb Thu 10-Sep-09 11:42:07

no.

beanieb Thu 10-Sep-09 11:43:11

sorry - yes.

Yes YABU

and

No you shouldn't ask her to change the way she has decided to care for her child.

get some ear-plugs or move rooms yourself.

WhingeBobShitPants Thu 10-Sep-09 11:43:23

Buy some earplugs.

LedodgyDailyMailstinksofpoo Thu 10-Sep-09 11:43:28

Yabu. How do you know the mum isn't asleep on an airbed or something in the baby's room? Just because the baby doesn't stop cying doesn't mean no one is there.

SerendipitousHarlot Thu 10-Sep-09 11:44:13

LOL yes you are BU - what a cheek!

Lilyloo Thu 10-Sep-09 11:45:10

yadbu how do you know you are being disturbed more than the parents ?

4andnotout Thu 10-Sep-09 11:46:17

YABVU.

roomforthree Thu 10-Sep-09 11:46:46

YABU - are you a parent?

DS2 suffered with horrendous colic and couldn't be settled AT ALL at night for about 8 weeks.

Have a bit of sympathy fgs.

skihorse Thu 10-Sep-09 11:46:48

YABTU - how would you like it if someone "offered advice" to you wrt raising your children? shock

4andnotout Thu 10-Sep-09 11:47:29

I'm sure they have more pressing concerns at the moment than worrying about you complaining.

Weegle Thu 10-Sep-09 11:47:37

YABVU

buy some ear plugs

generalunrest Thu 10-Sep-09 11:48:32

YABU. I used to be upset when I lived in a flat and there was a baby next door who used to wake me up all the time, and to my shame I banged on the wall a couple of times. I can see now that I was being totally unreasonable, which I am when I'm woken up, and I was only about 20 and didn't have a clue about what having a baby entailed.

The poor parents are probably stressed enough, without having to worry about whether they're disturbing the neighbours, which prob every parent worries about. Have you not had children yourself? Can't you remember what it's like to have a tiny baby who needs constant attention?

I think you need to see it from their point of view.

nappyaddict Thu 10-Sep-09 11:49:54

YABU.

oopsadaisyangel Thu 10-Sep-09 11:50:28

Sorry but YABVU

Niecie Thu 10-Sep-09 11:51:27

Yeah YABU.

I sympathise but it is tough - babies cry. The baby might be in a different room for a good reason. Maybe one of the parents is already sleeping in there?

Can't you change room for a bit if it bothers you that much?

BroodyChook Thu 10-Sep-09 11:52:26

YABU.

AitchwonderswhoFruitCrumbleis Thu 10-Sep-09 11:56:02

i don't think it's that unreasonable that you tell her that you're being woken, tbh. in, like, the super nicest of ways... maybe mumbe something about how you had to keep the baby in your room when yours was born cos your neighbour complained and you felt AWFUL or something? (and then stress that's why you're NOT complaining, iykwim?)

ach, maybe there's no way you can say anything. she must be kinda inconsiderate, tbh. colic or whatever it might be... you take a screaming baby away from where the neighbours sleep ime.

crokky Thu 10-Sep-09 11:58:42

shock

I really don't think you should ask your neighbour to do that! I would leave her alone.

You must not be tired enough if this is keeping you awake grin

willow Thu 10-Sep-09 12:00:23

Am I a parent? Ha ha - oh yes. (And have been a MN parent for a lot longer than most of you, i suspect.)

I do know that we are being disturbed more than parents, as we can hear them getting up and coming down the stairs about five minutes after baby starts crying. Unfortunately, we can't change rooms as there isn't a spare room to move into - unlike in their home.

But whole point of asking on the AIBU thread was to get some honest feedback - which I've got. Wasn't ever suggesting I went in heavy handed about cotdeaths and routines, btw. So not my style to actually tell someone how to parent.

willow Thu 10-Sep-09 12:01:04

Thanks Aitch - how you btw?

tinkerbellesmuse Thu 10-Sep-09 12:01:44

Maybe you could change rooms....

willow Thu 10-Sep-09 12:01:51

Oh, and Crokky, it's not keeping us awake - it's waking us up several times a night.

willow Thu 10-Sep-09 12:02:20

TB - see below. We don't have a spare room to move into in our house.

MrsSchadenfreude Thu 10-Sep-09 12:08:03

One of our upstairs neighbours asked me to do this, when I had a very cross newborn who didn't understand that babies were supposed to sleep. I wasn't remotely offended, but did suggest that he could help the harmony in our house too, by taking his shoes off when he came in (wooden floors) late as this could wake up DD and set her off, and by not putting Take That on at full volume when he came in pissed at 4.00 at the weekend. It was all very amicable.

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