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AIBU?

I think I am.....or maybe I am not....oh i dunno

184 replies

TheLadyEvenstar · 08/09/2009 22:33

DS1 started secondary yesterday. He wants me to let him come home alone tomorrow.....I am scared shitless (putting it bluntly) he has only ever travelled alone once before!

Mornings are sorted....one of the teachers travels on the same bus and she has said she will watch out for him in the mornings.

I want him to stay my babyyyyyyyyyyy

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Harimosmummy · 08/09/2009 22:39

You gotta let him do it.

Set good / clear boundaries about him coming home etc.,

And good luck....

GypsyMoth · 08/09/2009 22:40

we have middle schools here....which they start in year five,so ds1 has been doing bus journeys alone since then.

SAVE OUR MIDDLE SCHOOLS!!!

mumblechum · 08/09/2009 22:40

Is it just a matter of getting a school bus & walking home from the bus stop? If so, of course he should do it!

If it's multiple stops or using the London tube, maybe not.

TheLadyEvenstar · 08/09/2009 22:42

SO you don't think I should keep him as my babyyyyyyyyyy forever????

It is one bus and a 15 minute journey

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ReneRusso · 08/09/2009 22:43

This would terrify me but I agree you have to let him. Is there a back up plan if he misses his stop? Does he have a phone?

ReneRusso · 08/09/2009 22:44

Ah, 1 bus and 15 minutes - that should be ok. you are being a teensy bit unreasonable

TheLadyEvenstar · 08/09/2009 22:44

he has a mobile, he has credit, he knows where to get off, he knows where we live (but i will meet him at the bus stop) I have said he can do it alone but he has to call me from the bus, and when he is getting near home and i will be meeting him at the stop.

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TheLadyEvenstar · 08/09/2009 22:45

Rene, are you sure iabu??? you sure it is not too soon lol...I mean can't i wait another 4 years weeks?

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cherryblossoms · 08/09/2009 22:46

Mumblechum - How do you think London secondary school children get home if they're not singletons of SAHPs or have no nanny/au pair? - I'm genuinely curious, it's delivered in an interested voice, not a sarky voice - I realise the tone could be misinterpreted over the internet.

TLE - Do it in stages, maybe. Accompanied back from bus stop, or whatever, then the full journey?

But you're the best judge of the danger.

cherryblossoms · 08/09/2009 22:47

I think you might be leeettle over-cautious ... . But i can see why.

Mamazon · 08/09/2009 22:47

YANBU.

DS qualifies for school transport. a mini bus with chaperone will pick him up from teh bottom of our road, take him into class and then collect hiom again from class and return him to the end of our road.

He is desperate to go on the bus and i am terrified to leave him in someone elses care.

he is my baby. he isn't big enough to get a bus to school - even if it is just a big taxi really.

so i dont think yabu, cos if you are then so am i and im never unreasonable

mumblechum · 08/09/2009 22:49

Cherryblossoms, I just meant if he hasn't done a tube trip alone before he may need taking through it a few times before braving it alone. It's quite complicated sometimes, and I try to avoid the tube if at all possible, but I realise that lots of secondary children use it regularly with no probs.

As it happens that the OP's ds only has a 15 minute bus trip, I'm sure he'll be fine.

TheLadyEvenstar · 08/09/2009 22:49

Cherry, yesterday i took him all way and collected him all parents did lol. today i let him walk the last part alone and made him call me when he got there....i called him as soon as i couldn't see him lol...PANIC!!!!!
I collected him as he had an appt so had to be out of school early.

Tomorrow am putting him on the bus but he has to call me when he gets to school.

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TheLadyEvenstar · 08/09/2009 22:50

yes but those 15minutes are going to be so scary for me him....

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TheLadyEvenstar · 08/09/2009 22:51

And those 15 minutes will be scary for ME Him

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limonchik · 08/09/2009 22:51

When I started secondary, none of the parents came on the bus - I'd have been mortified! My parents walked me to the bus stop on my first morning, but other than that I did it alone.

TheLadyEvenstar · 08/09/2009 22:57

Limon lol I walked with my mum everyday until I was 16....but then she worked in the school next to mine and my mates all walked with us. Made their mums feel better lol...oh how times have changed lmao.

I guess I just don't want him to grow up!

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cherryblossoms · 08/09/2009 22:57

Mumblechum - thanks, was just curious.

LES - I think he'll be fine, you know.

I did the school journey with my ds over the holidays, increasing the quantity of the journey he did by himself over the five days. Then did the same the first two days of "real" school.

My stress levels have still not gone down. So I feel for you. Really I do.

And it's funny because, as Limonchik says, Day 1 of secondary school, i was left at a bus stop, catching a bus to a town I had never even visited, over an hour away and just told to look out for girls in the same colour blazer as mine.

No way would I do that! I'd rather eat my own stomach.

skymoo · 08/09/2009 22:58

go with your instincts - if you still feel you should let him go alone then ensure he is au fait with crossing the road etc, especially if it is busy

maybe meet him at the bus stop, that way you can be sure he is safe once he gets off

ReneRusso · 08/09/2009 22:58

Have another baby. Or get a puppy.

limonchik · 08/09/2009 23:01

What is the norm at his school? Do any other mums collect children?

I went to school a 40 minute bus ride away in a different town. No one ever got collected by their parents - being the only one whose mum picked them up would have been humiliating.

Tbh, 11 years old seems quite old enough to take one 15 minute bus journey mid afternoon alone.

Pyrocanthus · 08/09/2009 23:02

My DD's going off tomorrow for the first time. I'm not allowed any involvement in the bus journey, but she is picking up a couple of friends on the way to the stop. My only fear is that they'll be talking so much they'll forget to get on.

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TheLadyEvenstar · 08/09/2009 23:02

Rene.........I have ds2 who is 23m old.

Sky my instincts say keep him as a baby reality says time to let him grow up!

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seeker · 08/09/2009 23:02

Hang on. He is 11, and in Secondary school - and you don't want him to make a 15 minute journey on one bus without making two phone calls to you and you meeting him at the bus stop?

And you asked a teacher to keep an eye on him in the morning - on the 15 minute bus ride to school?

Sit quietly with your eyes closed for 2 minutes breathing deeply. Now answer this question. "Are you being unreasonable?"

TheLadyEvenstar · 08/09/2009 23:04

LMAO Pyro, Mornings are sorted as the said teacher will be looking out for him for a bit until she thinks he has got it iyswim? its the afternoon when the cars are packing the roads etc and he has to cross a really busy HUGEEEEEEE road thats really worrying me.

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