Should maybe be I AM being unreasonable(13 Posts)
DH said last year he wanted ti learn guitar. Got him one for our anniversary and he's done well self-teaching, practices maybe half an hour or so a day.
A couple of weeks ago I spotted our local colleges doing 10 x 2 hour lessons once a week for £50. Couldn't really afford it but I pointed it out to him and we re-arranged the budget so he could enrol. All well and good..
The lessons start next week and he's gone practising crazy. Last night he spent about 3 hours twanging away in the middle room (I'd not seen him all day as I'd been in work, he was off with DS as business is cripplingly bad for him at the minute).
Today he's phoned up to tell me there's an open evening at the college so he's going along at 6pm (I get in about 5:15), then going to his last driving lesson of the day 7-8 and will be home about 8:30 and will do another 'hour or so practice' after we've eaten.
I'm knackered not sleeping worrying about money so will be ready for bed about 10 so I'll have hardly seen him all day.
I know he's excited about the lessons (and is a bit worried everyone will be better than him even though he's going in the one-class-up from 'complete beginner' but am I being unreasonable to hope that he'd want to spend some time together in the evening after DS has gone to bed?
I've mentioned it and he says he'll practice in the same room if I want, but that's not time together really. It's me listening to him strumming and not talking cos he's concentrating.
Half an hour - 1 hour a night I could cope with - but 3?
Rant over - please feel free to tell me I am being a cow
I don't think YABU. 3 hours is a bit much and like any hobby it needs to come after work and family time.
That said, I suspect this level of enthusiasm won't last forever and once he's a bit better he's be able to play without having to concentrate so hard anyway!
Oh no Reality...and here's me thinking once he gets better there'll be less practice
You're not being a cow at all and nor are you being unreasonable to want to spend time with DH.
But I really wouldn't worry about this - or try to limit his practising now - he is just overexcited which will soon wear off and then you will have him back to yourself!
Try to be excited and supportive of him now. He will be so grateful and you will reap the dividends!
YANBU but..... if that was my DH he would have enrolled, paid the money and lost interest so at least he's taking it seriously! Value for money I guess!
Be prepared for it to get worse! Once they catch the guitar bug it's a nightmare. My OH plays either piano or guitar every night, the only way to stop him is to bang his tea down in front of him, food usually tempts him away from his music
Seriously though he just sounds worried that he will not past muster at the lesson and is giving it his all. I imagine 3hrs a night will soon slip after the initial panic has gone. Give him a chance until he has had his first lesson, then suggest that 30 mins to a hour a night is enough - which it is! you can get away with 15 mins a night really.
But I can understand that you want to see your DP at some point during the evening. I am pretty sure he'll slack off the practice pretty soon.
I'm not sure the overexited will wear off....there's more levels he can go to at college!
Last night he said 'what will you do when I'm at college 2 hours a week and you're on your own? Well, it'll probably be more like 3 or so cos I'll have to go for a drink with them after class'
I fooking hope for his sake he was joking....
At least this fad has lasted a bit longer than his others
Tropical Fish (expensive & don't do 'owt but look pretty)
Cyclid Fish (very expensive and don't do 'owt)
Wooden models (not very expensive but where the bloody hell do we put then all?)
Pity this is the most expensive
YA a bit U
At least he is really into something, even if it's just for a few weeks/months, and not in the pub for hours/football/boys night out ect ect. Count your blessings!
It will sooo get worse! My DH is constantly on and off the guitar, at the dinner table, in the bathroom, while I talk to him, when I'm trying to sleep....but after 13 years I'm used to it!
It makes him happy. It makes me happy too, when I see him all stressed and then he starts to play and you can just see the tension leaving him, its great.
I know its prob irritating, but try and see it as something positive. From the sounds of it you need something similar for yourself? I knit or sew when I feel stressed, maybe you should try something you might like?
Erm....maybe I could try Guitar Smashing for Beginners?
My DH is a guitarist too - though he did all his training long before we met. He's pretty brilliant now <<polishes badge>>.
I do think 3 hours is a heck of a lot, but chances are it will lessen over time. Be thankful it's not the violin - hell for the first oooh, 8 years!
Best of luck!
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