DH and I are considering emigrating to New Zealand. There are lots of reasons: the weather, better job opportunities for both of us, friendly people, more space, less pollution, beautiful scenery, less knife crime/teenage binge drinking/lack of respect for authority etc etc! Oh, and the weather! We have been over a couple of times, have several great friends there, and love just about everything about the place. We really feel we'd be giving our DC a better life if we moved over.
But the sticking point is my 61-year-old father. He is a pensioner and, although he is relatively self-sufficient, lives on his own and doesn't need to have his steak cut up for him just yet(!), he would have noone else here other than one sister if we left. Me and my family are his life, really, we see a lot of him, and I just don't know if I could cope with the guilt of leaving him. I do want to go to NZ, sooo much, but I'd feel incredibly selfish for doing so. DH says I would be selfish to STAY here, because I'd be denying our DC the opportunity of growing up in (in our opinion) a better country. He thinks we've been held back in the past by the obligation I feel towards looking after my dad, and that I should think of my family ? the younger generation ? first. I know Dad would probably say we should go if I told him, but I'd still be crippled with guilt. I don't know if we could afford to bring him over for holidays/go back a couple of times a year, or even once a year, it's such a long expensive haul.
The ideal scenario would be to be able to take him with us, but we can't afford to support him, buy him a flat etc, and I don't believe a pensioner with no savings would exactly be welcomed into the country/be entitled to any kind of housing benefit or social support. Correct me if I'm wrong?
Please, I'm in such a dilemma, I just want to do what's best for everyone and if anyone has any alternative suggestions/similar experiences I'd be so grateful to hear them.
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to consider emigrating and leaving my father all alone here?
63 replies
OrangeSpacedust · 07/09/2009 17:42
OP posts:
cat64 ·
07/09/2009 21:57
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