Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

AIBU?

To be pissed off that someone stole DS's drink?

18 replies

Gangle · 07/09/2009 16:29

I know I am but need to be told in no uncertain terms so I can stop mulling this over! We have a nanny share with another family who are great save that the dad can be a bit competitive at times. There have been a few occasions where he has been a bit odd (taking things from my DS, 17 months, to give to his son etc) which I let go but there was an incident last weekend when we were out in the park which I think is pretty unfair. We had decided to grab coffee so the dad and I went into order - I said I would get DS a milkshake and he said, why don't he and his son share it. So I said fine. The lady behind the counter made one huge milkshake and gave it to us in a big plastic cup with a lid on. I then asked if we could have a second cup and straw so she poured the remaining bit of milkshake from the blender (about 2 inches) into a second smaller cup and put it all on a tray. I tried to pour some of the milkshake from the big cup into the smaller one but it threatened to make a big mess and there was a queue behind us so I left it. The dad then decides to take the tray out whilst I pay the bill (which at £15.50) wasn't cheap. As I stood there, I thought, I guarantee he will give his son the huge milkshake and my son will get the 2 inch dregs. Took ages to pay but finally got my change, went out and, as I thought, the dad had sat himself next to DS in his buggy and was holding the straw to his mouth so there was no option for me to swap them or to pour more into DS's cup to even things out. Also really strange that this dad would chose to give my son his drink - why not his own son? Just find it really rude given that I paid over £3 for a milkshake and DS barely had any. Just wouldn't occur to me to do something like that - I would be thinking, lets split equally or if you paid then I'm happy for your son to have the milkshake. So silly I know but a few other similar things have happened and this was just the final straw.

OP posts:

Report

belgo · 07/09/2009 16:35

YANBU. I understand it's annoying if this sort of thing happens regularly.

sixlostmonkeys · 07/09/2009 16:37

I'd simply be on your guard next time - if an occasion arises where he suggests they share, just reply all bright and breezy with "oh no best not or we will end up with another milk-shake-dregs escapade"
he will either realise you have cottoned on to him and stop being so cheeky or will get defensive. If it's the latter then you know you will be best to change the arrangements all round.

Gangle · 07/09/2009 16:38

urrrgh, what do you do Belgo? Feels so petty so say something but really grating on me. Maybe I should just be less polite/starting grabbing things for DS without sharing.

OP posts:

gorionine · 07/09/2009 16:39

Did he not at all propose to pay for part of the drink? YANBU, quite a rude attitude!

Gangle · 07/09/2009 16:40

Just makes me worry what sort of treatment DS has whilst at their house . . .

OP posts:

WhereYouLeftIt · 07/09/2009 17:05

YANBU - the drink was to be shared and he ensured that it was not. Only a saint would not be pissed off. And as you said, this is just an example, there have been several incidents.

If you don't want it to continue to grate you are going to have to say something. And not after the fact, but at the time. You could have sat down, said "oh, pass the shake over so that I can give DS his share". No help now I know, but it doesn't have to be an attack and put him on the defensive. Just behave as if sharing is normal, expected and indeed compulsory.

Next time you witness him do something, SAY something, maybe along the lines of "do you know what you've just done?" said in an amused tone. And yes, finish off with "I hope you don't do that when I'm not around!"

Maybe talk to his wife?

diddl · 07/09/2009 17:14

15.50 for one shake & two coffees????
Ye gods!!

You are friends with this guy if you were at the park with him and children?

So why didn´t just ask to put more shake in your son´s cup?

I guess in future just order & pay for your own things.
Or take drinks and snacks with and don´t share!!

Gangle · 07/09/2009 17:21

And 3 pieces of cake and a bottle of water. Even if I did ask, it's more the point that he should have offered. Yes, maybe I should stop sharing. I frequently share DS's raisins/rice cakes with the other baby but it's not reciprocated which is just making me feel taken advantage of. Certainly won't offer to pay for anything in future and will make sure DS has his own drink/cake etc.

OP posts:

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 07/09/2009 17:23

It does sound like he is taking advantage of your kind nature.

sweethoney · 07/09/2009 17:28

Yes these things are grating, if you are noticing more and more it is obviously a genuine habit on his behalf.
I agree that I would be concerned as to what happens in your absence, especially as a 17 month old can't really tell you. However, I presume that when you are not there, it is the nanny who has the children rather than the dad.
In future, just buy your own and stick to it. No-one likes being taken for a mug and by the sounds as if he will just continue to take advantage. Shame really as it feels much better to share and take it in turns.

diddl · 07/09/2009 17:46

YANBU.

He should have offered, of course.

And it can be hard not to share where children are concerned.
(Although not for this father, it would seem!)

oldraver · 07/09/2009 18:59

I would of just said "pass the shake so I can share them equally". I take it he gave the bigger one to his DS ?

vanimal · 07/09/2009 19:59

YANBU. Incredibly rude of him to a) walk off with the tray and not offer to pay and of course b) to give his DS a bigger share.

But I would just ask him outright - can you pass me the shake so I can give DS some more in his cup?

Stingy git.

Firawla · 07/09/2009 22:37

next time if he says lets share, just say "no thank you" and you could explain him its due to his behaviour like this?

LynetteScavo · 07/09/2009 22:43

YANBU.

Try to be more assertive or he will keep walking all over you.

nelliesmum · 07/09/2009 22:55

He's a bloke and therefore totally oblivious, what do you expect?

mrsboogie · 07/09/2009 23:20

totally oblivious to what? the concept of sharing? bit of a sweeping gender statement there eh?

sandcastles · 07/09/2009 23:55

nelliesmum, this isn't about being a bloke! It is the height of bad manners not to offer to share the cost, a concept that my hubby gets very well, along with sharing!

It is rude & I would make provisions for my dc & not his, if that is his attitude. Maybe next time take stuff from home, but just enough for your family.

Flip

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.