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to not particularly want to fund my parents because they're so sh*te with money?

(5 Posts)
Bleh Fri 04-Sep-09 18:23:28

More of a rant, but anyway. My parents are in their 60s. Neither have particularly well paid jobs, but they're getting by at the moment. They don't have much in the way of savings (partially because my Dad was out of work for ages, which happens and was horrible for everyone, so I can't begrudge them that). However, this evening I had a conversation with my mother which led to discussion of her pension (as she may have to retire within the next few years). It started with her saying that she'll pay in more than she'll get out hmm so she wants to stop paying in. I ask, what kind of pension do you have? (to the woman shortly to retire). "I don't know. It's changed recently". "Do you knowif it might be final salary [she works in public sector, so likely] or is it defined benefit?" "I don't know. They changed it, and they showed us a DVD which was all stupid PC speak, so I don't know what it is. Anyway, I believe I'm not meant to have a pension, so I will just wait and see what happens", which probably means that my siblings and I will be funding their retirement. I mean, FFS. She has this completely ridiculous head in the sand attitude towards finances which is barking. I'm sure she's scared and doesn't know what will happen, but surely she should be a bit more aware of what money they will be getting in, and plan from there?

colditz Fri 04-Sep-09 18:26:40

Talk to your dad.

Many women of our parent's age have a 'head in sand' approach to finances because they still believe, deep down, that it is Not Their Problem.

my mother got herself up shit creek until my brother was old enough to just fucking take over, and I am both angry at her and grateful to (and sorry for) him!

Earlybird Fri 04-Sep-09 18:32:52

Do they own a property, and if so, is it almost paid off? Seems more and more people are thinking they'll sell property and use the proceeds/appreciation to fund their retirement.

is that an option for your parents?

Bleh Fri 04-Sep-09 18:36:42

No, they don't sadly. I think my father has some endowment schemes (but in SA, where we're from) so when they're paid out they will have to be converted from Rands to Pounds. I really worry about them. Part of the reason I work in the area that I do is because I wanted to get a job with a good salary so I could support them to some extent. I think I'm going to have to arrange a meeting with Dad and my sibilings to discuss it. I wish my Mom would take it more seriously though. She's being ridiculous.

Earlybird Fri 04-Sep-09 19:21:13

Sounds as if your Mum was being a bit flippant when she spoke to you about it tonight.

Would they show you any paperwork/statements regarding current/future pension and endowment schemes? If they shared the info with you, you might be able to decipher it, and see what they've really got now, and what is likely to be coming to them. At the moment, you're simply getting wound up by casual comments. Get the cold hard facts from them, and you may find they're in better financial shape than you think.

Have your parents ever seriously discussed their retirement plans with you and your siblings?

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