My DH and I have had no contact with my mum since last July, when she was separating from my dad and decided it was a valid option to move into a house on our street, even though after asking us we'd said we felt uncomfortable about her being so close.
Living here is the first time I've been happy in my life, and we told her she was causing trouble in our marriage, and we'd have to move if she moved so close, but she said children don't tell parents where they can live, and she'd been selfless all her life and was now going to be selfish. Other members of the family and her own friends have also found her to be very controlling, manipulative and has to 'win the point' in any situation at all costs.
Initially, she didn't see our DD (8), but after a while we let DD see her through my dad. However, she started accusing my dad and me of conspiring to keep my DD away from her, even though she was seeing her! So we thought that any contact with her would only result in stress/hassle, for us, and for my Dad who was just coming out of dark times himself, so my dad told her to get stuffed.
The reason we don't want our DD to have contact with her is because it always ends up with her upsetting us and trying to control us, and as I'm now 22 wks preg, I really don't want any more upset dragging it all up constantly. But she keeps texting/emailing/sending postcards/getting other family members to hassle us, we've ignored everything, but she keeps on.
What I'd be interested to know from the collective MN's knowledge base is do you think we have a right not to have contact with someone we don't like, and in this case decide on behalf of our daughter? And also how to get the message across that we don't want her contacting us all the time. It's getting me stressed thinking what she's going to do next, and it's escalating.
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AIBU?
to believe I have the right to chose who my DD has contact with?
21 replies
strifeiinmylife · 03/09/2009 18:22
OP posts:
babybarrister ·
04/09/2009 08:38
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