To correct ds when he fails to pronounce the t in water, butter etc?

[PollyParanoia]

I just don't know if I'm a snob or a pedant or completely reasonable to find ds aged 5 and his missing Ts in the middle of words really irritating. Typical sentence will be:
"I've lost the bu'on in the wa'er, I'll le'er ge'it for me as she's be'er at swimming."
I correct him and I don't know if that's really bad for his self-expression and a one-way ticket to a therapist in 20 years time. And I don't know whether I'm correcting him because it's sounds common or because it's incorrect. I tell myself that it's because he won't learn to spell properly as he won't be able to sound out words (or le'ers), but am worried I do it in fact because I speak with an RP accent and he goes to an inner city school.
And I don't know whether he does it because it's an "accent" or whether he's just v lazy (which he has always been, speech wise). It might be that it's actually part of a lovely London regional accent that should be nurtured like Geordie.
Am I like horrible parents who used to pay for elocution lessons?

[TrillianAstra]

YANBU

[OrmIrian]

YANBU. I don't give a flying feck about accent but I do hate lazy speech. DH has a London accent - born in East Ham - but normally he can pronounce his t's perfectly well.

[Poledra]

YANBU, coz if you are, so I am

[madameDefarge]

Sigh. I know your pain. But it is better to let them get on with it, otherwise it can mess up their language acquisition. My ds has an inner city accent blended with his father's North American accent, a cause for much hilarity. Not a peep of my nice RP accent. "tis cruel, I tell you.

[OrmIrian]

Well mine are true hybrids madame. My RP, DH's East end and local Summerzet mixed in. Interesting

[CantThinkofFunnyName]

YANBU. Please don't "let them get on with it" , do correct him - otherwise how will he ever learn?

I do the same daily btw and it does reap rewards! My children now say to me "x says blah blah, that's wrong isn't it mummy?" Hah - yes, one for the Essex girl made good!!!

[MrsSantoslovestheBBC]

DD does it and she knows it winds me up. so I am trying to ignore it and just making sure that I am really clear waTer "so you'd like some waTer" when she says "I want some wa'er". I bet she does it loads at preschool to fit in with the other kids. She is just at that age when she is really starting to make her own friends and lots of them do that and I am more interested in her being able to socialise than a pronunciation blip which I am sure she'll drop. It's not as if she has always used a glottal stop and we don't do it either. DH is far less relaxed about the whole thing than me but he is an ex-teacher

[Blackduck]

Its the 'a' that causes the problem here. I am from the south and we now live in Brum and spend all my time saying 'farst' not 'fast' and I KNOW I shouldn't because it isn't technically wrong, it just grates on my ear......time to more I think

[MorningTownRide]

YANBU - Same here Polly.

DD has a mix of my RP, school chums Essex/ East London and dh's New Zealand twang!

[auntyitaly]

Why is such a teeny thing so wildly irritating? I correct, through thin lips, about once a day - ie not enough.

But it's an affectation that seems to be universally irking, and that's reason enough in itself to mention it.

[ErikaMaye]

I do this to my brother all the time - drives me absolutely round the bend. I get rather irrationally about it!!!

[hannahsaunt]

It's not part of a lovely regional accent - happens all over the country - and it's just sloppiness. I am forever correcting it in my boys; it does make a difference in how you think of people later in life as they address you e.g. I find it very off-putting in an interview if they can't be bothered to speak properly i.e. pronounce the 't's in words.

[deaddei]

YANBU.
I hate the word "like" inserted into every sentence at least 4 times "like she was like so not going to go out, like it was so late, like yeah but no.
You get my drift.

[Morloth]

Hah! My kid sounds like a bloody pommy, Ts are the least of his problems!

[generalunrest]

I can understand what you're saying, and despite how I feel I do still correct my DD sometimes, but, I had very pedantic parents who were constantly criticising the way I spoke 'It's not 'y'know' it's 'you know'' springs to mind and it didn't do a thing, except annoy the fk out out me!

My parents didn't come from the place I grew up in, they said 'grarse' when everybody here said 'grass', it was like I had to speak two languages, one at home one at school. I understand the two places are different, but to be so formal in an informal home setting, to me, just doesn't make sense.

[wasabipeas]

YANBU - correct away.
DH does it as well and it drives me mad.
He has finally learnt not to drop his ts around me, but he slips back into it when we visit his family in Essex or are out with his mostly East End workmates
Drives me blinkin' MAD

[PollyParanoia]

I'm so glad that I'm not an obsessive snob then, or at least if I am, then lots of others are too. I did genuinely worry as I was correcting him a lot on holiday (all the wa'er for swimming in) and I heard myself and I didn't know what sounded worse: his missing Ts or my whiney posh mum corrections.
It's only going to get worse isn't it? With the "likes" and the "whatevs". I remember endless conversations with my parents with where I'd say "So there was this girl", "a girl", "yeah, this girl, right," etc, etc. And now I'm just like them. Arggggh.

[traceybath]

Yanbu. Am constantly correcting DS1's speech - i want him to speak properly how un-mn is that?!

[LindenAvery]

Correct away!

One that I find tips me over the edge is TWENNY - for Twenty!!

Everyone on the television and radio seems to drop the 'T' and it drives me nuts - but then that could also be due to the school holidays!

[PollyParanoia]

Twenny one, twenny two, twenny three... oh god even thinking about it.

[Overmydeadbody]

YANBU

I always correct DS if he drops his Ts.

[traceybath]

Little without the t's is the one thats driving me mad at the moment.

Also 'gunna' rather than 'going to'.

[MrsMellowdrummer]

Personally I would gently correct him if I wasn't able to understand him... otherwise I would completely let him be. I doubt very much whether it will have an impact on his spelling.

And just to correct a widely held view - it takes (minimally!) more energy to produce a glottal stop than a plosive sound, so missing out /t/s in favour of a glottal stop mid-word is definitely not a "lazy" option. It's a habit, no more no less.

[Tortington]

my mother did this to me

she wasn't a tyrant by any means, but it completely undermined my confidence and made my feel inferior

meanwhile i got bullied becuase the other kids thought i thought myself superior

there isn't anything wrong with accents IMO

[GrimmaTheNome]

The problem is that some regional accents just aren't as lovely as others. Genuine Cockney is at least authentically bad, but 'Estuary English' is an abomination.

My own personal bugbear is DDs unfortunately genuine inability to pronounce soft th-s. Hard th fine (this and that) so why can't she say 'fink'? The other day she was talking about some skating move and I thought it was called a 'free turn', didn't realise till I saw it written that it is a 'three-turn'.