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About this woman who kept having more children.

(13 Posts)
MissSunny Thu 03-Sep-09 12:24:56

Message withdrawn

Morloth Thu 03-Sep-09 12:27:32

I wouldn't take the risk, but there isn't anything much you can do to stop other people doing it.

People are dumb and selfish, but saying that this person can breed but this person can't is a pretty scary idea.

And who gets to decide who is fit to reproduce?

TeamCullenAllTheWay Thu 03-Sep-09 12:32:16

If it was me, then there would have been no more children, but as Morloth said, you then start getting into the realms of who can and can't have children which is a bit sinister.

However, like I said, I couldn't do it

Reallytired Thu 03-Sep-09 12:35:06

Its easy for you to say that someone can't reproduce when you have healthy children.

With scans it is possible to spot many deformities in a fetus at an early stage. Do you feel she should have had an abortion?

IMHO noone should be forced into a termination or prevented from having children. It sounds similar to Nazi policies. I can revoke Nazi comments as the Nazi party did force sterilization on people with genetic conditions as well as murdering many disabled people.

What about these families who have loads of babies and they all get taken into care. I have greater problem with know child abusers having children

Prehaps its a case for sex selection on the NHS.

AMumInScotland Thu 03-Sep-09 12:35:24

Well, personally, I wouldn't have had more children if the first was suffering, and would continue to suffer throughout a shortened life expectancy. But that's a very extreme case, and if you start talking about who should or should not have children (or more children) because of the risk of genetic conditions, then you get into a very tricky area, as it depends on what levels of risk and what levels of disability you personally would count as "acceptable".

No-one is perfect, and we all have a risk of producing children with genetically-cause disabilities.

My DH has a disability which may be genetic, and we knew before we had a child that he/she could potentially be affected. We thought about it, and decided the odds were good enough, and the condition minor enough, that we would go ahead.

I don't think anyone apart from the couple themselves can decide what is an ok level of risk or seriousness.

pagwatch Thu 03-Sep-09 12:36:22

I think without knowing what the condition was etc it is pretty silly to try and make any judgement.
My middle son has very severe disabilities. he is a happy lovely child who enjoys his life immeasurably.
Apparently geneticists think the chances of any more children having the same condition were pretty high but we had our daughter anyway. She is seven today and much loved - like her brother. We were perfectly comfortable that another child may have the same condition. The main difficulties DS faces are from the expectations of the world rather than anything else. They both have fabulous lives - as does my other son.
And my two NT children are probably nicer people because of their brother.

I suspect that if you had suggested to me that I should not have had DD because she might have the same condition as DS2 I probably would have thought you an idiot.

AMumInScotland Thu 03-Sep-09 12:37:11

Reallytired - I think in this case they would have been able to have sex selection on the NHS, since there was a clear medical need.

MorrisZapp Thu 03-Sep-09 12:37:16

Reminds me of some neighbours I had when I was a kid. They had some terrible genetic issue that meant their children either died very young or had severe, limiting disabilities.

I can't remember how many kids they had but it was so sad, some of them died, and the rest of them were severely disabled.

As a kid of course I was like 'why do they keep having kids' and my mum said they must think it's worth it.

You can't explain stuff like that, it is obviously v personal decision. I imagine that if it was me, I wouldn't take the risk, but then I'm not a person who has ever really wanted kids anyway.

Presumably their doctors told them exactly what the risks were but they decided to keep going for their own reasons.

EyeballsintheSky Thu 03-Sep-09 12:39:13

Google Action T4 and then think about your original point. Fine if it's your choice but it is ok to say someone else shouldn't have children?

MissSunny Thu 03-Sep-09 12:43:42

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MissSunny Thu 03-Sep-09 12:44:25

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pagwatch Thu 03-Sep-09 12:48:28

smile its alright - I know what you mean. I just think it is easy to look at someones life from the outside and assume that it is different from the reality.
I often get heavy sympathy from people who assume that our lives are blighted by DS's condition. It isn't. He's a laugh and sweet and kind of cool. We are very normal people leading pretty much the same lives we would have had had he not had his disabilities - just with a bit more organisation and a bit more complexity.

NT means neuroligicaly typical ie average or 'normal'.

ra29needsabettername Thu 03-Sep-09 12:50:35

pagwatch has said it really. Who are you to judge which lives are worth living? Disabled does not mean life not worth living.

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