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to expect my friends to not let their one year old run around on a busy road.

(7 Posts)
welshone51 Wed 02-Sep-09 16:04:06

Hi I dont want to be shot down in flames here as I am writing this thread due to genuine concern and not because I am interfering or saying my parental style is any better than my friends.
Basically I have 2 very good friends who I see on a regular basis due to our children being the same age and the fact that they are good company. They have a one year old daughter (2 in Dec)who is their only child at present. They dote on this child, however I am a little concerned about the fact that the other evening after going out for a meal-they allowed their daughter to run up and down a pavement attached to a main road on a cold, dark, drizzly night not just for a few seconds but for the entire length of the road with cars whizzing past( it was a 50 mph road ). This was due to the child not wanting to go in the pram, be carried or to hold her parents hand. It frightend me and my husband but I decided not to say anything although I kept a close eye on her. But my husband who is a man of few words or who wouldnt dream of interfering actually turned to the child and said ''....... Hold your mums hand this road is dangerous! My friend then made a grab for her hand but the child started crying so was soon allowed to run up and down the pavement. My friend then turned to me and said I bet the neighbours will have something to say to this about this but tough! Afterwards I asked my husband why he made the comment and he says its up to individuals how they raise their children but he didnt want to see the child hurt or killed on the road and he felt he had to say something. This does tend to happen frequently and it leaves me frighteted and wary that the child is going to get hurt! Am I being unreasonable to think the should take more control with their daughter on roads.

welshone51 Wed 02-Sep-09 16:15:23

Oops for some reason I have added this 3 times- bloody computer sorry x

AnyFucker Wed 02-Sep-09 16:18:18

yanbu, and it terrifies me to see this kinda thing too

I just fail to understand why some people fail to take proper care of their children

I think I go too far the other way (I used reins with my toddlers and insist on hand-holding near busy roads with my 9yo) but rather that than a dead child

< shiver >

gorionine Wed 02-Sep-09 16:24:58

"It frightend me and my husband but I decided not to say anything although I kept a close eye on her."

maybe the parents were doing too?

Do not get me wrong , I do agree that it is not the most secure way to travel with a little child, but you are getting all high and mighty without actually having done anything to help whrn it was happening!

Your DH on the other hands tried, unsuccessfully but he tried.

welshone51 Wed 02-Sep-09 17:33:58

The thing is gorionine I was unsure what to do in this situation due to both her parents being there. I do not feel I am getting high and mighty at all I was just concerned and maybe in highsight I should have said something but its a hard one to call especially as my husband said something which wasnt listened to. What would you have said? I am just interested for future reference.

AnyFucker Wed 02-Sep-09 23:09:57

welsh, I don't blame you for not saying anything, it is difficult to not sound judgemental although in this case it seems deserved...

I think I would have just been honest and said "X running around like that is making me really nervous, would you mind if she held my hand?..." Then grip on for grim death

I know it is not your place to make decisions like this wrt the safety of another's child, but I could not have stood by and watched

what if something had happened? I would prefer to cause a little awkwardness tbh

thesecondcoming Wed 02-Sep-09 23:28:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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