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AIBU to be livid that DH made DD wet herself?

(343 Posts)
spittingblood Wed 02-Sep-09 10:51:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EleanoraBuntingCupcake Wed 02-Sep-09 10:56:16

i think you need to calm down. he was in the wrong but you have over reacted.

sweetkitty Wed 02-Sep-09 10:56:19

YANBU your DH was completely in the wrong, your poor DD, did she have to go home covered in wee as you didn't have a change of clothes for her?

IOnlyReadtheDailyMailinCafes Wed 02-Sep-09 10:58:23

I think you DH was in the wrong but there is more to this than dd wetting herself.

ABetaDad Wed 02-Sep-09 10:59:32

You are right. He is very wrong. Why did he do that? Really, why did he do that?

My parents used to do that to us as kids nd it was horirble. Teachers do it to kids too and it makes me extremely angry.

ButtercupWafflehead Wed 02-Sep-09 10:59:57

He was unreasonable, but perhaps learned his lesson just from seeing what happened -

i.e. before you laid into him publicly, in front of complete strangers and your DD.

He was wrong, but I can't see how your reaction did anything but make a horrid situation much worse and even more of a big deal.

notevenamousie Wed 02-Sep-09 11:00:18

Would you have a change of clothes for a 6 year old??? - I only sometimes remember at just less than 3.

Poor DD. Poor you. I hope your DH apologised.

roundededges Wed 02-Sep-09 11:01:21

Sb, what are you doing with my dh???
no yanbu, he sounds like an arse, sorry. My Dh gets the same "worried about the car behind, woried about being shown up in public" syndrome, and loses focus on what actually matters. No solution, but sorry you had to go through that and for your dd it sounds very upsetting. Is she ok now?
He may apoligise later. my dh usually does (sometimes years later though - when I tell him I'm going for divorce lol).

BunnyLebowski Wed 02-Sep-09 11:01:26

Yikes sad

I think you are completely entitled to be angry. He acted like a total and utter dick. I would be raging too.

But I'm inclined to agree with IOnlyRead. This incident must me symptomatic of something that is very wrong in your relationship?

It sounds like you are both very wound up with each other?

Poor wee dd though sad

Squishabelle Wed 02-Sep-09 11:02:01

He didnt apologise - and I think this made the situation ten times worse.

suwoo Wed 02-Sep-09 11:02:05

OMG you are me and you are married to my DH!!!

We had an almighty row on route to France last year because he wouldn't/couldn't pull over. Then its all my fault angry


Mamazon Wed 02-Sep-09 11:02:12

i'd kill him.

YANBU at all. in fact i also don't think you'd be being unreasonable iof you went to the toilet, pissed in a beaker and then threw it over him at a public function. see how he likes it

Squishabelle Wed 02-Sep-09 11:03:19

Why cant some men ever apologise?

roundededges Wed 02-Sep-09 11:04:33

eleanorbunting and buttercup, give her a break, how would you have reacted toward him "Oh dear that was awkward dear?"

roundededges Wed 02-Sep-09 11:05:35

pmsl mamazon

JRocks Wed 02-Sep-09 11:05:50

Oh your poor DD, how horrid for her.

I can totally understand why you're annoyed, but having a rant inside the cafe seems a bit much, sorry. I hope he has apologised to your DD, and she understands she's not to blame at all.

It does seem like this isn't the first communication breakdown in your relationship though.

Morloth Wed 02-Sep-09 11:06:38

I think YANBU, what a bloody stupid thing to do.

If my DH did this I would rip more than shreds off him.

He wouldn't do it though, so I agree there is something else going on.

ButtercupWafflehead Wed 02-Sep-09 11:07:08

I would have been livid too, of course.

But surely he would have gotten the point just seeing the results and having an upset wife and child.

Or perhaps I am giving him too much credit?

Morloth Wed 02-Sep-09 11:08:55

The not apologising is a bit worrying too. If DH does something that results in DS being genuinely upset and it is his fault then he apologises and tries to make it right.

Your poor little DD.

sparklycheerymummy Wed 02-Sep-09 11:10:21

My dd cannot hold on..... she has a little issue and only recognises that she needs it when she has 5 mins max to go! My dp has no choice but to stop and if he had a problem with it i would not be with him. My ex was like your dh and just didnt have a clue. My dd is 7 and would be mortified at this happening. I always carry spare knickers but not often an outfit!!! poor little sweetheart but what a good girl for hanging on so long. I would make him drive to the next clothes shop and buy her a new outfit now to piss him off!!!! Grrrrrrr men.... only joking but what a prat!!

mayorquimby Wed 02-Sep-09 11:10:23

obviously he should have stopped.
but you've completely over-reacted.
shoving "old biddys" out of the way, tearing strips off him in the middle of a cafe and thinking of divorce because of an accident.

kathyis6incheshigh Wed 02-Sep-09 11:10:27

He was wrong, obviously.
You shouldn't really have had a go at him in the cafe because that will have made it even worse for your poor dd, but given the circumstances it's quite understandable that you lost your temper.
And he shouldn't have then blamed you for having the wrong attitude.

I do hope you can sort your differences out without doing it in front of your dd though, as she's going to feel guilty if she sees you rowing.

AvrilH Wed 02-Sep-09 11:10:37


Your DH sounds like not the most confident driver, he missed a couple of lay bys, he could not reasonably have anticipated the tractor, the unreasonable cafe, and the vacant old biddy

it was unfortunate, he was wrong, your DD was embarassed by the situation

But she was utterly humiliated by your awful behaviour, causing a scene in the cafe afterwards, drawing attention to her predicament, tearing a strip off her dad.

Fanjita Wed 02-Sep-09 11:10:53


Trikken Wed 02-Sep-09 11:11:01

I do see why you are mad at him, but then it isnt entirely his fault, getting the keycode obviously took some time, as did waiting for biddy in the loo to finish. sounds like she would have been fine if not for a series of unfortunate events. I dont think you should berate him too much.

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