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to wonder why there are so many Unplanned pregnancies

(65 Posts)
worldgonemad72 Tue 01-Sep-09 11:06:20

HI all

A friend of mine has recently told me she is pregnant after a 1 night stand, while i will support her with whatever decision she makes i just dont understand how, that in this day and age people can have an 'unplanned' pregnancy.
I know contraceptions are not 100% effective but if used correctly there should be a lot less unplanned pregnancies surely??
Ive spoken to her about it and she says she was on the pill but she sometimes forgets to take it at the same time etc, when i asked her about whether they used a condon she said no as she was on the pill!! what about STD's??
Is it just me that thinks if you dont want a child then be over careful?

Trikken Tue 01-Sep-09 11:13:33

sometimes in the heat of the moment people forget to use contraception, or for some reason think that they wont get pregnant. Also alcohol fueled nights of passion can lead to not using contraception. Some use contraception but it fails, its not always through not bothering.

Dont make the assumption that an 'UNPLANNED pregnancy' is an UNWANTED pregnancy', they are two very different things.

Mamulik Tue 01-Sep-09 11:14:49

My first pregnancy was not planned - I was 23, student, not married, lived in hostel and just started university. My DD1 now 12 years old.

TheDMshouldbeRivened Tue 01-Sep-09 11:15:14

does seem a bit daft. I cant believe how many people don't use a condom. Especially one night stands. What with STD's and AIDS hasn't vanished!

AMumInScotland Tue 01-Sep-09 11:18:32

Because people are daft. Or think it can't happen to them. Or don't think at all because they're drunk. Or don't want to think about it because it seems "unromantic" or "not passionate" and they like to think of themselves as being swept away in the heat of the moment.

Reallytired Tue 01-Sep-09 11:23:47

I think that human beings are subconciously programmed to reproduce. Sometimes hormones over come commonsense.

If people were always sensible then the human race would be extinct!

FabBakerGirlIsBack Tue 01-Sep-09 11:25:32

I think people assume it won't happen to them.

I always assumed it would so was very careful.

worldgonemad72 Tue 01-Sep-09 11:31:04

Yea i can see where your coming from, i guess im a sensible sort and the thought of havin a baby when myself or my partner weren't ready just didn't seem right. My friend isn't sure what to do as she already has a child from a previous relationship and is unlikely to see this bloke again, obviously i didn't want to lecture her about being irresponsible when she's got loads on her plate at the mo, i just wished that she would of thought of the consequences.

AMumInScotland Tue 01-Sep-09 11:40:04

Yes, I don't think people think through how much more complicated it will be to make a decision about an unplanned pregnancy than it is to think about contraception in the first place. No point in lecturing her now, she realises the consequences, all you can do is support her whatever she decides to do, as it won't be easy for her either way.

SkivingViking Tue 01-Sep-09 11:42:23

Then there are the girls where the contraception has failed, they take the morning after pill within 12 hours and still are pregnant (me with now dh!)

I always say dd was unplanned but definitely not unwanted.

Really don't understand people having sex with a stranger and not using a condom though. Of course accidents can happen (getting carried away etc) but that's one hell of a risk.

Wonder what the proportion is for reasons behind unplanned pregnancies?

MoonHasMosquitoBites Tue 01-Sep-09 11:42:49

Both of mine were unplanned and I'm not daft and did use contraception. Which failed.

My friend also had two unplanned children and when she told me about the second I thought the same as you did - until it happened to me!

SkivingViking Tue 01-Sep-09 11:45:12

Just read that back - I meant I got pregnant by now dh with dd (not that I was pregnant with dh?! God I am digging myself a hole here, aren't I?!)

<<leaves thread to make restorative cup of tea>>

slushy06 Tue 01-Sep-09 11:45:38

I see where you are coming from my unplanned pg was due to a condom I used them when younger to protect against stds but they have a habit of snapping on me and I am unable to take the pill including morning after pill one snapped I had only just had a period we were in early stages so I though it would be fine but although me and my partener were shocked at first once we got used to it we were happy and love our ds.

But as for not using contraception I guess sometimes it happens you are drunk and it is naughty and forbidden and makes the experience more fun. But some times you try and it just fails

Dogshitsonthedailymail Tue 01-Sep-09 11:56:01

Message withdrawn

Morloth Tue 01-Sep-09 12:03:53

"to wonder why there are so many Unplanned pregnancies"

Because when you get right down to it people are animals and animals breed.

We have a very thin coating of "society" and "civilisation" but we are still inhabiting bodies that want to reproduce and sometimes they get the deciding vote.

And yes, unplanned does not always equal unwanted regardless of what many people say.

LastTrainToNowhere Tue 01-Sep-09 13:13:06

Don't know about unplanned pregnancies, but I do think unprotected sex with a stranger is dangerous. Getting carried away in the heat of the moment with your husband/boyfriend is one thing and a totally different thing when it's with a stranger who could be carrying an STD!

beanieb Tue 01-Sep-09 13:16:10

WHat a strange first post worldgonemad72. hmm

Sometimes people fail to use contraception

Sometimes contraception fails. Even the morning after pill can fail.
So you can be over careful and use condoms and teh morning after pill and still have an unexpected/unplanned pregnancy.

beanieb Tue 01-Sep-09 13:16:32

oh and YABU.

ShowOfHands Tue 01-Sep-09 13:17:55

Unprotected sex with a stranger is something completely different to an unplanned pregnancy.

If a contraception has a 98% success rate then that's 2% failure. So you probably know 100 women through work/toddler group/friendships/family/school. Makes sense that a couple of them would have unplanned pregnancies really.

TheDMshouldbeRivened Tue 01-Sep-09 13:21:03

you'd think you'd make doubly sure sleeping with some stranger on a one night stand though. He could have any disease. And should you have the baby you tell them 'sorry, no idea who your dad is, I was drunk?'

l39 Tue 01-Sep-09 13:24:05

I fully accept that contraception is not infallible.

On the other hand, lots of people just don't seem able to follow simple instructions - 'I'm supposed to complete this course of antibiotics, but I won't bother with the last day,' or 'the packet says no more than 12 painkillers in 24 hours, but I'm taking 20' - and I do know people with this lax attitude to contraception, too. If I missed the window for taking my pill, I assumed I was fertile for the next 2 weeks just like the leaflet said. If you don't follow the rules, that is not a contraceptive failure!

lal123 Tue 01-Sep-09 13:25:23

why is it that 4 out of 5 thread I read today could be dailymail threads??

fiver Tue 01-Sep-09 13:25:44

Because nobody's perfect and people make mistakes

Because no form of contraception is 100% reliable

TheFallenMadonna Tue 01-Sep-09 13:28:21

I'm always astonished at the resistance to using condoms. It is as if people have just put their fingers in their ears and yelled "la la la I'm not listening" for the last 20 years at least...

Nancy66 Tue 01-Sep-09 13:30:03

contraception isnt 100% but it's pretty darn close - i'm sure in most instances where contraception 'failed' it simply wasn't used properly.

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