I started feeling ill with flu on Friday night. The worst two days were Saturday and Sunday, and today I am quite a bit better, but still feel like lazing about at home. This morning I got myself some breakfast, went back to bed and read some bits of the Sunday papers. Then later whilst I was having a shower, DH appeared and asked if I felt up to going on a bike ride. I was left speechless as he announced he was off to fit a bike rack to his car. It then emerged that while I had been resting in bed for most of the morning the 2 DDs have neither had breakfast nor brushed their teeth. Somewhat annoyed, I got them their breakfast (it was now 11:30) and got them to do their teeth. I told DH I was not going on a bike ride and also explained that I thought it would have been nice if he'd given the children some breakfast and got them to do their teeth. He then exploded that we just all sit around doing nothing and I always criticise him and never support him. He said he told them to have some breakfast but they didn't bother. Ok I know they are old enough to get their own, but I think they still need a bit of encouragement. Otherwise, they won't bother and will be just asking for biscuits all morning. So it was then decided he would take them on a bike ride and I would stay at home. Whilst he was rushing around getting ready and being generally shouty at the DCs, I was sitting on the sofa, basically doing nothing (and playing on the Wii). DD1 was moaning that she didn't want to go (she has just recovered from swine flu herself) and I just said talk to Daddy he's in charge. And carried on playing on the Wii. Again he had a go at me for being unsupportive. Not quite sure what I should have been doing. I still feel quite exhausted and really don't feel like rushing around finding trainers and cardigans just because he's in a bad mood. Oh and I'm 9 weeks pregnant so feel perhaps I should be allowed just a bit more cosseting for that too. So I know DH is fed up of looking after me and being stuck at home and desperate to get out, but was I being unsupportive? Should I just be grateful he's taken them out? Or was he being an ars?
Had you discussed with your dh what you were both going to be doing - or in your case, not doing - over the weekend? Or did you expect him to just "know" what you needed? Who's been looking after the dcs over the past few days?
He sounds as if he is being a bit of an twit - bit I would also be pissed of at the other parent sitting on the sofa playing on the Wii, and not engaging at all.
It is best in these situations to retire to bed. It is a clear statement of "I am poorly and will not be carrying on as normal", in a way that computer games on the sofa are not. Less ambiguity and easier for both DH and DC to understand.
You may not be well enough to go cycling (bit mad of him to ask!) but if you are well enough to play on the wii then you should be well enough to chat to your DD or to help pick up trainers and cardigans briefly to enable your DH to take the DCs out for the day to allow you rest
I would be interested to see how people would react if this was a case of "My dp was sitting on the sofa playing computer games and refusing to engage at all with the children while I was dashing around like a blue arsed fly trying to get ready to take them out on a bile ride so that he could have a peaceful time to recover from 'swine flu""
If I had engaged with the children seeker, it would have been to say to DD1, "you don't have to go cycling if you don't want to, stay at home with me", but that would have made my DH furious, because that would have been "unsupportive", so thats why I didn't say anything.