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to get really angry when dh points out some housework that needs doing

(71 Posts)
roundededges Mon 31-Aug-09 14:23:07

Today he asked me to empty the sink (having filled it up with roasting dishes, cooling racks etc, himself)- I don't know why but I just got really angry. Is it unreasonable to ask him not to constantly keep pointing out jobs that need doing, I have eyes and if he'd just get on with the stuff he needs to do I would get on with my stuff. Once, he left light bulbs blown in the toilet for about 7 weeks - we were "going" in the dark until eventually someone else changed them and showed me how to do it - they were quite fiddly or i'd have changed them myself. (I do all the others in the house).
. The other thing I think is if he feels it needs doing so badly, do it himself. I can't describe how angry it makes me. AIBU?

edam Mon 31-Aug-09 14:24:45

No, of course you aren't!

FabBakerGirlIsBack Mon 31-Aug-09 14:24:57


He is quite capable of doing it himself.

next time he points it out to you say And?

fuzzywuzzy Mon 31-Aug-09 14:37:31

Look brightly at him and say 'well off you go then' and leave him with the dishes before he has a chance to say anything else!

Seona1973 Mon 31-Aug-09 14:38:05

I am not the worlds best housewife but even dh wouldnt point out the bits I haven't done. He never married me for my housewifely skills which is just as well(sometimes I wonder why he did marry me!!).

FlamingoBingo Mon 31-Aug-09 14:39:03

YANBU! What a rude lazy fuck! If you see something that needs doing, then do it, don't ask someone else to do it!

I would just respond to 'please empty the sink' with 'no'.

cyteen Mon 31-Aug-09 14:39:29

If he can see it, he can deal with it. YANBU.

MrsMerryHenry Mon 31-Aug-09 14:40:42

YABU. Don't get pissed off, hit him!

Seriously, though, you guys need to sit down and talk about this. It's silly that he's treating you this way and that you're colluding with it by not challenging him. It wouldn't surprise me if you said communication (on areas of conflict) between the two of you was at best tricky.

grouchyoscar Mon 31-Aug-09 14:49:34

YANBU at all. He can do it himself

DH, love him, will make me feel such a slattern when he mentions something wants doing. Thing is, if I do it, he doesn't notice/say thanks

Blokes huh

Oxymoronic Mon 31-Aug-09 14:50:42

shock YANBU, he sounds a bit controlling, if it bothers him that much tell him to get on and do it himself!! You're not his employee!

Tortington Mon 31-Aug-09 14:50:49

tell him to fuck off


Jennylee Mon 31-Aug-09 14:58:50

I hate that too, it basically guarantees that I won't touch the thing he has mentioned untill I really have to if at all as, like one of the posters said I do have eyes and he could just as easily do the task.

ErikaMaye Mon 31-Aug-09 15:13:14

You're his wife, not the house keeper! If he thinks its that unsightly, point out where the cleaning things are and leave him to it! Arse.

RealityIsNOTDetoxing Mon 31-Aug-09 15:17:08

Message withdrawn

FabBakerGirlIsBack Mon 31-Aug-09 15:22:52

I say to DH that so and so needs doing but he is fine with it and does it as he knows I am doing other stuff and can't do everything.

MoreCrackThanHarlem Mon 31-Aug-09 15:26:08

I can't see the problem, really. Dh and I ask each other to do jobs all the time.
Was it the way he said it? If dh was angry because I said 'could you please empty the sink, love?', I would think him unreasonable.

MoreCrackThanHarlem Mon 31-Aug-09 15:28:34

Meant to say, if I was busy doing something else, or if I had cooked Sunday lunch, for example. Wouldn't ask if I was sitting on my arse reading the paper, obviously.

Sassybeast Mon 31-Aug-09 15:33:07

So HE cooked lunch and you are pissed off cos he asked you to do the clearing up ? I feel sorry for the poor bloke tbh. Should he have done the washing up as well as cooking for m'lady ? Grounds for divorce I'd say - expecting everyone to pull their weight and all that. Shocking. YABU.

Blondeshavemorefun Mon 31-Aug-09 15:36:29

has he lost the use of his hands? grin

Mumcentreplus Mon 31-Aug-09 15:48:27

It's all about how you ask though surely? should both help equally...but it can really get on your tits when someone keeps pointing out things that need doing and act as though the fact they pointed them out negates them doing said task..hmm

MoreCrackThanHarlem Mon 31-Aug-09 15:49:17

Op did your dh cook lunch, then ask you to empty the sink? If so, yabu.
Cannot fathom why someone would be apoplectic with rage at being asked for a favour by their other half. Or am I reading this all wrong?

Mumcentreplus Mon 31-Aug-09 15:54:27

Of course if he cooked you wash/clear..but the constant pointing out would piss me off still...

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Mon 31-Aug-09 16:00:51

Come on, if it was her saying 'I only asked DH to do one thing in the house and he went off on one' we'd be saying how unreasonable he was! I ask DH to do stuff often (doesn't always mean he does it) but then I do the lion's share so I feel I can.

But then he could be a controlling twat who micromanages everything - but we don't know that!

Mumcentreplus Mon 31-Aug-09 16:12:01

Well maybe she does the Lions share and doesn't appreciate someone giving her little reminders?...

MoreCrackThanHarlem Mon 31-Aug-09 16:17:13

Come back op we need more details!

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