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to feel a little disheartened about this?

(108 Posts)
crazylizzy Fri 28-Aug-09 12:22:04

ok, so nothing major, but I've recently noticed how sometimes little effort parents put into dressing their kids for other kids parties?

Back in the day, our mums would dress us in our best dresses, matching ribbons, tights, newly polished shoes, do something pre-planned with our hair (tiny plats all night, leaving a crimped look, oh man - retro), but now all I seem to see are trainers, jeans and a top, and that's just the girls wink

Last week my kids were invited to a 5th birthday party, as were my friends kids, she offered a lift, and at picking us up, I noticed her kids still in their gym kit (tracksuits and trainers), I commented if they'd just come straight from the lesson and my friend answered no, the class was earlier that afternoon, and they'd come from home.

AIBU to feel disheartened about how times change and still send my kids to birthday parties in their Sunday bests?

UnquietDad Fri 28-Aug-09 12:22:36

Is this the Daily Mail thread?

mrsboogie Fri 28-Aug-09 12:23:44

Sunday best? is this the 1950's?

PortBlacksandResident Fri 28-Aug-09 12:25:21

Actually Crazy has a point - i think adults have also become more scruffy casual - whether day to day or at parties.

UnquietDad Fri 28-Aug-09 12:26:24

It's those dreadful working mothers, you know. The slatterns farm their children out to strangers all day and haven't even got the time to dress their children properly for parties.

deaddei Fri 28-Aug-09 12:26:59

No such thing as "best" clothes today- impractical, rarely worn and quickly grown out of. Parties today are quite boisterous/physical- bouncy castles, trampolining etc- not sitting round the table eating jelly and icecream.
I hate seeing children primped - and don't get me started on boys wearing bowties.

LoveMyGirls Fri 28-Aug-09 12:27:17

I think it's nice to dress dc's up for parties, it boosts confidence imo after all if we're going to a party don't we try to look our best?

FabBakerGirlIsBack Fri 28-Aug-09 12:27:48

I let mine decide what to wear.

It is a party, not a fashion show.

Geocentric Fri 28-Aug-09 12:28:56

I agree with deaddei. Mostly soft-play type things round here, so dresses are completely impractical.

PortBlacksandResident Fri 28-Aug-09 12:31:44

Soft play
PE Kits
Lowest Common Denominator

ben5 Fri 28-Aug-09 12:34:21

i dress them in clothes that suit the birthday party. normal everyday clothes for soft play areas, t shirt and shorts for garden parties that involve water!

Disenchanted3 Fri 28-Aug-09 12:36:14


If my kids mgo to a party the boys wear trousers and shirt and DD wears a dress, cardi, clip in her hair etc

Its just nice to dress them up to celebrate someones birthday/ wedding anniversary etc. It shows respect rather than turning up in muddy trainers and tracky bottoms!

Geocentric Fri 28-Aug-09 12:39:20

But Disenchanted, we're not talking about dirty clothes, just dressing up vs dressing down. Mine are usually (depending on venue) in comfortable running around clothes, but they always look nice (colour coordinated, neat hair atc).

LucyJones Fri 28-Aug-09 12:40:40

I can't get my dd in a dress or even a skirt
she likes to wear trousers or shorts like her big brother

gorionine Fri 28-Aug-09 12:41:02

IMHE at parties children do want to paly , run arround, etc... bow ties and polished shoes might be a bit OTT for that purpose!

they do not really look like they are having the best of times do they?grin

beanieb Fri 28-Aug-09 12:41:29


Geocentric Fri 28-Aug-09 12:42:24

grin at gorionine

Wonderstuff Fri 28-Aug-09 12:43:07

There was me thinking the opposite, the parties my niece (aged 5) gets invited to/holds always seem to have a princess theme requiring all girls to arrive in maximum amounts of pink and sparkle [shudders]

When I was young parties involved pass the parcel and musical chairs, so dresses and ribbons were fine. Soft play etc is a bit different.

crazylizzy Fri 28-Aug-09 12:44:00

ok just to note I am not referring to soft play parties in particular, just birthday parties in general, tea parties, parties at someones house, a garden party......

Leln Fri 28-Aug-09 12:45:59

I so agree with you, Crazylizzy!

I send my DD to birthday parties in a pretty frock and matching sandals and a ribbon in her hair .....and we get sooooo many comments, such as, gosh, she's dressed up etc. because the others do look like they are going to play in the sandpit.

Why not make an effort? It's a special occasion for the child celebrating, it is a compliment to dress in such a way that says, this is not a normal playdate, it is a once a year occasion for the birthday child.

I know I am old-fashioned, but I think different clothes are suitable for different occasions.

I was so shocked (but didn't sau anything, of course) to see some children who attended our wedding (nieces of DH) wearing jeans and trainers seems to me that teaching kids that special occasions = special clothes starts early.

I love my DC to look smart. They seem to like it too, I never get any complaints from them!

PS I remember wearing a full length tartan party frock as a child in the 70s with a wide black velvet hair band - I LOVED it!

FiveGoMadInDorset Fri 28-Aug-09 12:46:01

A garden party usually involves climbing trees, well it does around here anyway.

gorionine Fri 28-Aug-09 12:47:26

But crazy, even at garden parties children want to play and run arround don't they? It would be torture for them 9 mine anyway) to be dressed beautifully and have to stay on a chair all day for fear of ruining "best clothes". I still think that "best clothes" for DCs are the once they are comfortable to play in with!

Stayingsunnygirl Fri 28-Aug-09 12:47:50

I agree that the clothes should be suitable for the party's activities - but that doesn't mean that they can't be clean, neat and reasonably new/smart/pretty - not OTT frilly dresses/bowties, unless that's what the child wants to wear - but stuff that doesn't look worn out and knackered before the party starts (though it may well all look that way by the time it ends).

I have huge struggles with this, because my boys insist on either growing out of every single item of clothing apart from the scruffiest and/or ripping the hems of their jeans to shreds on their bike chains - and it is always the new jeans that get ripped, not the old scruffy ones, of course!! And they do this right before a party/event so that they have nothing to wear unless I dash out and buy new outfits - so they do look scruffy, I'm afraid.

Geocentric Fri 28-Aug-09 12:47:51

I still think it depends on the perspective, though. If its birthday lunch for their grandpa, I dress them up a little more, maybe a dress for DD and a polo shirt on DS... But they can still look nice in more casual outfits, if there's lots of running around with other children involved.

gorionine Fri 28-Aug-09 12:48:24

ones, not once!

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