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to expect DH's work not to ring him all the time?

(13 Posts)
TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied Thu 27-Aug-09 18:21:19

Ok I'm in a grump and starting a few AIBU threads tonight but I think they're all valid reasons to be extra grumpy!

DH works in a 9-5 mon-fri job, and picked that job specifically because he wants to focus on his family. It is minimum wage even though he does the job of a manager really because they take the piss because he's good and reliable.

So whenever he gets in from work he gets a good few phone calls from work. Mostly from a single 40 year old who still lives with his mum and obviously has nothing else to think about. He gets texts if he doesn't answer. If I say anything he just says 'there's a lot going on at work at the mo' and he's always under pressure. But for minimum wage. Grrrr.

Then at weekends one of the managers texts him lots of times and sometimes rings and the odd time he's had to nip into work to sort things out.

We have a toddler, I'm pregnant, we're newlyweds, and we have precious little time together. It's retail. Can't they keep it in the hours that they pay him?

MIAonline Thu 27-Aug-09 18:27:57

Tell him not to answer the phone.

TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied Thu 27-Aug-09 18:28:41

He doesn't and it rings and rings and rings.... and rings....

MIAonline Thu 27-Aug-09 18:30:59

Switch his mobile to silent and let the answerphone get the landline. They will keep phoning if he lets them , perhaps he enjoys the feeling of being needed. It's retail fgs, no one is going to die.

You must be so frustrated by it.

mazzystartled Thu 27-Aug-09 18:31:48

Ask for a work mobile phone, which will be turne donto silent/left in the kitchen drawer from 6pm each evening. Change his personal number.

He just needs to change his attitude a bit. They are calling him because he is amenable. Everyone likes to feel wanted but he needs to set some boundaries

TheProfiteroleThief Thu 27-Aug-09 18:33:02

My Dh gets this - has blackberry too, so emails beep regularly. Plus his contacts are in diff time zones so all day and all night plus weekends.

He does not like to switch it off, so I stuff it between two cushions so I cannot hear it

pjmama Thu 27-Aug-09 18:51:28

I don't think anyone on minimum wage should be bothered out of hours and dragged back in to "sort things out"! It's called being on call and he should be demanding overtime for it at the very least!

Or better still, stop being so accomodating and tell them to bog off in no uncertain terms.

TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied Thu 27-Aug-09 18:55:44

Also, he's a key holder and gets no extra for this despite the fact he's been called out before.

He needs to stop being so nice I guess.

It's not the constant ringing of the phone that annoys me, it's the fact that they totally disregard that he has a toddler and a pregnant wife to spend his time with rather than constantly thinking about work. They stress him out as it is.

Dominique07 Thu 27-Aug-09 18:56:05

Maybe they can just email him, its not fair to take up his free time worrying him over work. If they really need him more can't he do one Saturday a month or something scheduled?

TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied Thu 27-Aug-09 19:05:31

That's the thing- they've cut his hours down because they can't afford to pay an extra 5 hours a week. And we need the money.

cruelladepoppins Thu 27-Aug-09 19:28:36

YANBU.

Do they ring him on his home phone? Maybe you should be the one who answers the phone - and always say "Who's speaking? I'm sorry, X, DH isn't available right now. I'm not expecting him back till late. Can I take a message for him?" Then they can't very well keep ringing on the same evening.

I do that with people who call at inconvenient times for my DH, and it works well.

If it's his mobile, maybe he should change it, let them know the old one doesn't work any more and not tell them the new number. (Unless he's obliged to tell them. Depends on his job description - if there's a requirement he should be on call then that's the way it has to be I suppose). Or, as others say, he could keep it switched off and screen his texts.

Or if it's them requiring a decision, he could say: "I'm not at work right now, this is your decision to make. We'll talk about it when I get back."

Is it perhaps a training issue and he needs to train them how to cope without them? Retail management is a responsible job. I used to work part-time in a responsible job (not retail) , and I always looked on it as part of my duties to make sure my team knew how to manage without me. We all understood exactly where we were on that one - they could call me in an emergency or if there was info they needed to do the job and they weren't sure where to find it, but otherwise I expected them to manage without me. We used to have little "wash-ups" when I was about to be away for the 2 days I didn't work, to make sure we covered the work to be done.

Good luck. smile

cruelladepoppins Thu 27-Aug-09 19:30:37

blush sorry - "train them to cope without him"

slowreadingprogress Thu 27-Aug-09 19:58:41

He needs to get assertive with them and stop responding. No good getting annoyed with them, he is the only one who can change things. HE needs to focus on his family and not let things intrude...it's up to him.

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